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So I Finally Told My Parents...

blackandgold

By blackandgold
in Pregnancy

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blackandgold Rookie

blackandgold

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I finally told my parents I'm pregnant. Their reaction after the inital shock...so whens the abortion. Maybe not in those exact words but they may as well have said that. They made it very clear they do not want me to have this baby. I was expecting them to force me to marry my ex boyfriend so I was a bit thrown. Apparently they don't want me to have his baby because he's a loser. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer this Summer and as much as I love him and the whole cancer thing has made me not want to fight with him he's still such a * * * * * * * . His reaction was very unemotional and he basically just said take care of it soon because it cant interfere with your soccer training. I don't even know what to say to them because neither of them could care less.

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blackandgold Rookie

blackandgold

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agh this is a tough one. how do YOU feel about it though, do you want to have this baby? be with the ex? what does the ex feel about it too?

 

I feel like it would ruin my entire life and everything I've worked for as far as soccer goes. I play soccer seriously and it's almost the most important thing in my life. My ex cheated on me. I feel like I'm better than that and I'm not going to stick around for someone who doesn't value me enough to keep it in his pants. He wants me to forgive him and he wants us to get back together. He also wants me to keep the baby.

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fragmint Explorer

fragmint

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well from what you've said about the situation, it seems like youfeel the baby is going to ruin your life and im sure your parents feel the same way. maybe its because they know soccer is important to you they assumed youd make the same decision as them?

 

i think you first need to make a decision about the baby since abortion is available on a 'time limit' sort of. this is jst me but i would not have the baby if i was in the situation described. you said soccer is really important to you and you feel the baby would ruin your life. trust your gut on this one. sports it not something you can just put on 'hold' and get back to and start where you left off. i know a lot of people who had kids earlier than they wanted (MUCH earlier) in all sort of situations (married, unmarried, etc) and most had to put their life dreams and goals on hold, KNOWING That they might NEVER get back to those goals and dreams because they now have a baby.

 

i think you should think about this in just terms of what YOU personally want. not what anyone else wants or wants you to want, etc. think about the reality of the situation -youre goign to be a single mother if you have this baby. i know the ex wants to get back and probably says he wants to help or whtever. but when you guys were exclusive thats like a promise to not cheat. people who break promises tend to make empty ones too.

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agent1607307371 Experienced

agent1607307371

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I can't even believe that they expect you to sort this on your own!

This is a very stressfull time and you need all the support you can get, have you talked to your friends? what do they think?

 

To be honest, I can see it. He's trying to fight lung cancer and now this?

 

Honestly, I think the OP wanted some attention from her parents and hasn't received it - either in the positive or in the negative.

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TheSmilingTurnip Rising Star

TheSmilingTurnip

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If *you* want to have an abortion, and you feel like it's fine and the right thing for you, then you can make that choice. If you don't want to and you feel like you'll regret it, then don't have one. No one can make you and your parents cannot legally throw you out; CPS would be at their door.

 

Ashleigh, it really comes down to what you want to do and what you feel is right for you. Which choice can you live with - Adoption or abortion? You don't have to answer, it's just food for thought. Either way, it's not going to be easy. It sounds like keeping the baby and raising it is not one that you can live with.

 

I know the soccer is your dream and that it may result in a scholarship for you, but remember that that is temporary. This is a far more serious decision than sports.

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Gunmetal Apprentice

Gunmetal

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Alright, how about we look at the negatives...the regrets. What would you regret *more*, not knowing what its like to carry a baby to term and raise it/ adopt it out, or never knowing what the potential of YOURSELF really is, cause you never 'lived' for just yourself.

 

Now for my opinion - you can most likely get pregnant again. You sound like an intelligent young lady and I'm sure you will find a man who wants to start a family with you. A college man, educated, not a loser... If i were you, i would wait and go through this experience in a positive way, when you as a person have much more of your true self to give to a child, cause youve really lived and experienced the world.

 

I would urge you to have a procedure. I am sorry the father isnt in the picture for at least moral support, etc. I don't 'believe' in abortion, i think its traumatic, but mistakes happen. Yes its 'selfish' but selfishness is sometimes a sense of self preservation.

 

good luck to you, ill be interested to read what youve decided

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blackandgold Rookie

blackandgold

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To be honest, I can see it. He's trying to fight lung cancer and now this?

 

Honestly, I think the OP wanted some attention from her parents and hasn't received it - either in the positive or in the negative.

My relationship with my parents has never been good. I don't want their attention, I have it all the time. If anything I'd like a little less attention. My parents are the kind of people who don't care about their kids, they only care about how their kids reflect upon them.

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ImThatGirl Mentor

ImThatGirl

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My relationship with my parents has never been good. I don't want their attention, I have it all the time. If anything I'd like a little less attention. My parents are the kind of people who don't care about their kids, they only care about how their kids reflect upon them.

 

 

I gathered that. You are their Soccer Star, right?

 

Do you need any help with what direction to go in? As far as who to contact or anything. You definitely must make the ultimate decision. With how you portray your parents, I'd think working for your dad and having a child would be a nightmare compared to fulfilling your dreams and goals.

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TheSmilingTurnip Rising Star

TheSmilingTurnip

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My relationship with my parents has never been good. I don't want their attention, I have it all the time. If anything I'd like a little less attention. My parents are the kind of people who don't care about their kids, they only care about how their kids reflect upon them.

 

Whatever you choose, I'm sure that all of us here at ENA will be here to help you with whatever you need as much as possible online.

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blackandgold Rookie

blackandgold

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I gathered that. You are their Soccer Star, right?

 

Do you need any help with what direction to go in? As far as who to contact or anything. You definitely must make the ultimate decision. With how you portray your parents, I'd think working for your dad and having a child would be a nightmare compared to fulfilling your dreams and goals.

Exactly, my older brother is a failure so I'm their second chance I guess. I would also like to clear up that a soccer scholarship isn't just a chance. I've already been contacted by 3 universities in my junior year. It's pretty much a guarentee if I do well this soccer season. My parents have always held a high level respectablility in our community and the main goal in our lives has been making sure they maintain that position. So for them its very important that theyre not publicly embarrased and I think this falls under that category.

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agent1607307371 Experienced

agent1607307371

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My relationship with my parents has never been good. I don't want their attention, I have it all the time. If anything I'd like a little less attention. My parents are the kind of people who don't care about their kids, they only care about how their kids reflect upon them.

 

Or maybe attention that is about you being their daughter and not someway for them to look good?

 

The only advice I can give you is to work out what will make you happiest in the long term and then go for it.

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TheSmilingTurnip Rising Star

TheSmilingTurnip

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Sadly, I have no advice for you, it's a personal choice that you have to decide and live with. I'm sure you'll get through this, just take your time, and weigh the facts.

 

Wishing you well...

 

HeartGoesOn is absolutely right. I think you've got all the tools you need in order to choose, and all we can do now is send warm wishes your way. Good luck

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shikashika Mentor

shikashika

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I've been reading your posts and to me it sounds like you would grow to resent this baby...You don't want to be the parent who says, " I gave up my university and soccer for this"

 

Not saying that is going to happen, but it could.

 

I wouldn't go for adoption. I think that would be worse... you have to carry the baby, be pregnant and then give it up?

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blackandgold Rookie

blackandgold

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I've been reading your posts and to me it sounds like you would grow to resent this baby...You don't want to be the parent who says, " I gave up my university and soccer for this"

 

Not saying that is going to happen, but it could.

 

I wouldn't go for adoption. I think that would be worse... you have to carry the baby, be pregnant and then give it up?

My abortion is in like 4 hours so yeah...

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Taylor527 Contributor

Taylor527

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Wow... I wish I saw this sooner... guess I'm too late.

 

 

But just so you know, I'm in a VERY similar situation as you. I found out I was pregnant after my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. When I told my parents they told me your getting an abortion, luckily I am 21 and they can't tell me what to do legally but they can voice their opinion. I personally decided that I will keep the baby and that its a huge undertaking but nothing that can't be done. My parents have made a complete turn around and are now helping me with the morning sickness and willing to help once the baby comes. They are even excited now!! Where when I first told them all they kept telling me was to have an abortion. Anyway - long story short - its your choice and if this is what you want to do is go ahead with the abortion, then you have the right to... But did you ever think about adoption? If you feel you are too young to care for the child you can give it to a loving family whom is dying for a child.... Or you can take the easy way out and abort it... Either way - its your choice and don't make your parents force you to do anything - they will turn around - trust me! My parents are so strict and old school that I can't believe how they are acting now but no matter what you do in life you will ALWAYS be your parent's child and they will support you even if they didn't think it was the best decision. Good luck hun.

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jcrisph Newbie

jcrisph

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I've been reading your posts and to me it sounds like you would grow to resent this baby...You don't want to be the parent who says, " I gave up my university and soccer for this"

 

Not saying that is going to happen, but it could.

 

I wouldn't go for adoption. I think that would be worse... you have to carry the baby, be pregnant and then give it up?

 

 

MAY I ASK WHY YOU ARE SO AGAINST ADOPTION!

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