Another one bites the dust...

[zenbabyk]

So let me start off by saying that I am brand new to this forum, and I was in search of finding a good forum to vent to, and I was in search of finding a forum where I could get honest advice, and I believe it's this forum.

 

I know two weeks, a couple days shy from three weeks is not a long time... but let me tell you, in the past couple weeks I found complete bliss. Or so I thought. I went to a restaurant/bar with my sister and was planning on be he sober cab for the night, and I happened to meet him. (Let's just name him George Glass...) So blah blah blah we played the whole, I'm glancing at you, I'm not glancing at you game for awhile until he finally came up to me and offered me a drink. That was the point where I realized he was Brazilian.

 

I knew that me being an American girl there would be quite a cultural difference, and coming out of a rough three year relationship I thought "What the hell, why not?"

 

We exchanged numbers, and not too long after we left the bar he called. I told him that I would gladly accept a date and that I would be looking forward from hearing from him.

 

Turns out that he is a professional racecar driver, lived in a nice apartment, came from a wealthy family and was here for work until December, and possibly longer.

 

The first time we got together we met up at his place, and walked around the lake, went to an art fair, had lunch, went out to the bars with my friends, and then I slept at his place. ( I was not physical with him yet, but we did hold hands throughout the whole day, and we did kiss a couple times)

 

The next morning he made me breakfast, and wanted to go get a movie, and we hung out with his brother that was visiting from Brazil, and had lunch and blah blah...

 

Anyways we happened to hang out with eachother everyday for a whole week and everything felt until I helped him clean his apartment.

 

I found a used condom, and I knew it was not ours. I don't know why i couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment off, but I just couldn't. All of a sudden I felt as though I was being taken advantage of.

 

Later that night we talked about the big old "dating" topic. He explained that even though he really really liked me, he didn't know if he wanted to commit to me yet because alas we had only known eachother for a week. ( Personally I was having a great time, but wasn't ready to commit either.) We got into other topics like how he travels a lot and that he didn't want to hurt me because he knows how he is when he travels.. ( I'm assuming he likes to sleep with random girls?) But I told him it doesn't matter if you are "dating" someone, it would still hurt if you had an emotional connection. He agreed.

 

He left for his trip the next day and when he came back after a long weekend being gone he acted like our whole conversation never happened. I didn't want to bring it up again, but I was sick of feeling like a girlfriend without the title. I told him that I didn't care what he did with people because I didn't want him to be trapped, and he took it as me not caring about him. Truthfully I do care a lot about him, and it's really hard for me to just know that he can and WILL do whatever he wants.

 

Anyways, we hung out for a couple days in a row, and he was being all cute and making nicknames up for me. He even had lunch with me, my sisters and my mom. Later that day after a long day at the pool and alcoholic beverages, we fell asleep on his couch. He woke me up at 7pm to tell me he would be right back and that he had to go buy a plane ticket but he had to use the internet in the restaurant of his apartment building. So I went back to sleep. Two hours later no sign of him. I called him and he said that he was on his way to his race coaches house to go pick up something he needed for his race. ( I'm sorry but isn't that a little weird?)

 

So I told him okay well I'm just going to go home then, and he said no wait I want to say goodbye to you before I leave, so I'll be upstairs in two minutes... ( * * * ? I thought he was on his way in a cab to some place in a different city??)

 

So I'm getting suspicious... is there another girl? Why would buying a plane ticket take 2 hours? Why would you leave your own apartment building to go pick up something with someone sleeping in your living room?

 

So we are walking to my car which is in the parking garage. There is a really quick way to get there by going through the restaurant... but for some reason he took me this really long way.

 

He tried to hug me goodbye and I told him no because I was not "stupid"

 

He won't speak to me now, he told me I was crazy and he can't believe that I don't trust him....

 

Am I crazy??? I need to know if I really messed this whole thing up.

[Butterflygrl]

Oh hunny, you're being taken by a Brazilian Valentino--RUN. He is wealthy, charming, and probably hot as all get out. Get out before you really fall in love with him. This is the part where all these pebbles are being thrown at you as a sign that this relationship is gonna end up toxic. He called you "Crazy"? already. He's already leaving you alone for hours-you guys just met sorta. Guys who are crazy about women and have nothing to hide- want to spend every minute they can especially in the so called 'honeymoon' phase. You aren't even getting that. He's a slick one. DOn't take this the wrong way but you just met him for one week and you were already talking about it hurting if he had an emotional connection with another woman. You said you didn't want to commit either but your actions showed otherwise. I think he really got you. I dated a Brazilian guy. I KNOW how they can be.

[Kahdeksan]

To sum up what butterflygrl said, he's a player!

 

Don't even try to think that you could ever change someone like him, it doesn't happen. I think you should first realize that. Then make quick smart about cutting ties with him... he's already trying to guilt you into thinking it's all in your head and nothing to do with him being in the wrong. Typical player type behavior...

[zenbabyk]

Oh I'm sorry... I didn't mean that I would feel bad if he had an emotion connection with another woman. What I meant was that you don't have to be dating someone to feel bad if the other person hooks up with another person. That if you have an emotional connection with someone, and you care about the relationship and where it is going, but not quite exclusive yet... it will still hurt. ( Does that make sense... I'm terrible at explaining things)

 

But yeah, he agreed that he would be hurt if I did stuff with other men, even though we were not exclusive yet.

 

I know he left me for a couple hours, but I knew he was going to use the internet to buy a plane ticket... who's to say he wasn't writting e-mails??

 

ah... I need to stop making excuses. It will only hurt more later.

[Kahdeksan]

You have got to stop making excuses... it doesn't matter what he said, player's come and go like the wind. They never get emotionally tied to anyone for too long a period, it's how they PROTECT themselves from being hurt. And even if you were dating exclusively, it would only be a matter of time before he breaks your heart.

 

Players are always in control, they love to be in control, that's how they are wired for survival. You cannot change that! You'll fall for him but he has other motives while you're kept by his side. Exclusive comfort? You take a guess...

 

Give your heart to someone more deserving and honest... and in turn you'll do yourself a favor.

[Butterflygrl]

You have got to stop making excuses... it doesn't matter what he said, player's come and go like the wind. They never get emotionally tied to anyone for too long a period, it's how they PROTECT themselves from being hurt. And even if you were dating exclusively, it would only be a matter of time before he breaks your heart.

 

Players are always in control, they love to be in control, that's how they are wired for survival. You cannot change that! You'll fall for him but he has other motives while you're kept by his side. Exclusive comfort? You take a guess...

 

Give your heart to someone more deserving and honest... and in turn you'll do yourself a favor.

 

Yep, players creed. The only way players get caught is this way. You wanna know: You ready? DON'T HAVE SEX WITH THEM FOR A LONG TIME. I mean like two - three months when you start dating. The longer the better if they are really into you. Players are a special breed. They use women until they find the one woman who doesn't react to the game. In their sick mind they think, wow, she is special because she doesnt want to have sex with me. "I must conquer this maiden" *said in foreign accent*. Thats the mind of a player. I know. I've hooked a player, unintentionally before. They are pathetic when they get dumped but that doesn't happen very often.

[zenbabyk]

Yeah I mean I already deleted his number. You will never guess what though. My friend had his friends number, and they called her last night to invite her to his apartment and lied to her telling her that I was there... Are you serious??

She didn't fall for it because she knew how upset I was.

I really hate players.

[Butterflygrl]

Yeah I mean I already deleted his number. You will never guess what though. My friend had his friends number, and they called her last night to invite her to his apartment and lied to her telling her that I was there... Are you serious??

She didn't fall for it because she knew how upset I was.

I really hate players.

 

To get her over there? wow. They suck.. and not in a good way.

Yes, but if you can recognize a player off the bat, you can really beat them at their own game. It's kinda funny.

[zenbabyk]

Now all I want is revenge!!

 

We are also facebook friends, and there were a lot of pictures that my sister put up... I don't know if you are familiar with it, but he untagged himself in a lot of pictures except there are a few he kept up.

 

If he is willing to give me a "second chance" I need to be prepared to get my revenge.

 

I know, I know... two wrongs don't make a right. But come on... sometimes when you have been hurt so many times it feels so good it makes it right...

 

Any advice on how to seek revenge? He comes back in 2 weeks... so I have 2 weeks to get tan, skinny, cute new hair, and whiter teeth. LOL! (All plus for me so why the hell not?!?!)

[lizzzy111]

How are players pathetic when they get dumped? in what way butterlfygrl?

[Steve 7745]

Now all I want is revenge!!

 

We are also facebook friends, and there were a lot of pictures that my sister put up... I don't know if you are familiar with it, but he untagged himself in a lot of pictures except there are a few he kept up.

 

If he is willing to give me a "second chance" I need to be prepared to get my revenge.

 

I know, I know... two wrongs don't make a right. But come on... sometimes when you have been hurt so many times it feels so good it makes it right...

 

Any advice on how to seek revenge? He comes back in 2 weeks... so I have 2 weeks to get tan, skinny, cute new hair, and whiter teeth. LOL! (All plus for me so why the hell not?!?!)

 

Don't bother.

 

Getting revenge solves nothing. Even if you tick them off, you only educate one fool. There are hundreds out there, thousands.

 

However, if you want revenge or simply to protect your friends, you could simply tell all your buddies that he has an STD. That should settle the problem nicely. Just say you saw his medical slip at his place and got checked since then.

 

Make it a nasty one too.

 

That should promptly end his sex life in any of your social circles.

[ImThatGirl]

Yeah I mean I already deleted his number. You will never guess what though. My friend had his friends number, and they called her last night to invite her to his apartment and lied to her telling her that I was there... Are you serious??

She didn't fall for it because she knew how upset I was.

I really hate players.

 

Okay Okay - I understand being caught up with the chase of a guy like this. Your story reminds me of this Yugoslavian guy I dated... He grew up on the east coast (in NY so he said) and just had this beautiful thick accent and oh he was so hot.

 

He'd belt out in Yugoslavian songs... he was a talker. He was a charmer. He and I laughed so much together. But I knew what he truly was. I chose to hang out with him and not get attached. (dang I hadn't thought about him for awhile and now I'd love to see him for lunch or something.. lol.)

 

But Girl! This guy called your best friend, lied to her, told her you were there and tried to get her to come over. What was his intentions?

[Steve 7745]

By the way, what's his name? If he's a race car driver, his name should be in the new articles.

[zenbabyk]

Well he didn't call my best friend for him.. His bestfriend Nathan had a thing for her. But at the same time, like are you serious that you are going to call my friend over to meet with your friend when you are not even going to have me over???

 

I mean I knew he was trouble when I met him, or I had my assumptions because he offered me a drink called "donkey punch" haha... I thought it was funny at the time because I figured a Brazilian didn't know what that meant.

 

As for him name... I don't know if i can let you know on here... he's not a nascar racer or anything he is racing for the mazda championship and did race for f3 in london for a couple years.

[Steve 7745]

Well,

 

He's rich, he's attractive, he's on the verge of being famous. It's easy to daydream that he's in love with you. And when he actually says something to that effect, the fact that those fantasy daydreams are coming true is very, very powerful.

 

But they are still daydreams. It's in the seducer's manual (yes, there is a book for this and no, I'm not telling you what it is) to play this. To appear amazing and perfect and then offer some fantasy world where your dreams come true. So many woman have felt that tug too, and when he can have so many, why would he settle for just one? Without reality, without some basis for something trustworthy and genuine, you can fall flat and be genuinely crushed.

 

It doesn't take a formula racer to do it either. I've read forums where players will borrow a friend's extravagant car and then take their dates (who are often golddiggers) out to dinner somewhere luxurious. By date 2, sex usually occurs. By date 5, the woman walks away when the guy is forced to reveal who he really is. Things like money or supreme status are often just bait, often irresistible. And even when the money or status are real, it only magnifies a real not to trust it.

 

Never be in a rush to get a "good" thing. If it's real, it'll be waiting for you to take your time and find out. Good things come to those who wait.

[zenbabyk]

Well,

 

 

 

It doesn't take a formula racer to do it either. I've read forums where players will borrow a friend's extravagant car and then take their dates (who are often golddiggers) out to dinner somewhere luxurious. By date 2, sex usually occurs. By date 5, the woman walks away when the guy is forced to reveal who he really is. Things like money or supreme status are often just bait, often irresistible. And even when the money or status are real, it only magnifies a real not to trust it.

 

.

 

 

I know money and fame, and good looks were all so appealing. But I didn't even know about all those things until day 2. Well I did know that he was a racecar driver, but I didn't think he rich, or any of that because I knew that he did not race for F1 because my step-dad is a huge fan and I know almost all the racers...

 

I thought that maybe he would be different, and I know that he took to heart that I was different because he even pointed out that he had never met anyone quite like me, he explained that I was not * * * * ty or a golddigger... that's when I found out he had money.

 

Ugh! I just need to stop thinking about the "what ifs" and "what went wrongs" and just wait.

[GoldenHillGuy]

I lived in Brazil for 2 months. Brazilian women LOVE American men. Besides the obvious blonde hair, blue eyes, the Brazilian women I met wanted a boyfriend NOT a FWB. Every woman I talked to there almost despised Brazilian men. The women said they are mostly players, and won't commit until they're 35. Anyways, stereotype? Maybe, but there is probably alot of truth to what those women told me. Just food for thought.

[Steve 7745]

I lived in Brazil for 2 months. Brazilian women LOVE American men. Besides the obvious blonde hair, blue eyes, the Brazilian women I met wanted a boyfriend NOT a FWB. Every woman I talked to there almost despised Brazilian men. The women said they are mostly players, and won't commit until they're 35. Anyways, stereotype? Maybe, but there is probably alot of truth to what those women told me. Just food for thought.

 

Oh god, this reminds me of a story.

 

A man on the seduction boards was bragging that he managed to make a 19 year old prostitute go gah-gah crazy for him. Screaming at him that she badly wanted to have his children. He laughed at this, but then gave her what she wanted.

 

My Turkish friend is in a similar situation. It seems that American men are very desired accross seas in several countries because the men in their home countries are major players, while plenty of American men are divided between being players or being gentlemen (the classic bad boys vs nice guys). It seems that after enough player BS, the nice guys do finish last.