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Guide me people...


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This is a very short version of my story, so much more happened than can possibly be explained here. But thankyou for reading.


Back in April, I randomly started talking to a girl on facebook. What started off as a few whitty emails between me and her, soon developed into essay length messages back and forth. This continued for the next few weeks, both of us looking forward to, and anticipating these emails.


We swapped numbers, text only a little, and carried on with the facebook essays. We agreed to meet, and "accidently" bumped into eachother one night in a club. We both left our friends at the club, and spent the whole night just driving around and speaking in the car. It was such a lovely time.


We were both so interested in eachother, you could tell. We went on a few dates, and they were just as great. She then went back to her university for 4 weeks. I'm not the waiting type at all, but I decided to make an exception for her. We spoke everyday on the phone, long phonecalls, and sat up all night talking online, making ourselves tired for the following day. She constantly told me how much she missed me, and couldnt wait to return home. I was elated.


She came back, and it was great! we met up, enjoyed eachothers company, and just wanted to talk to eachother constantly. I couldnt believe how well it was all going. This carried on for a couple of weeks, and just got better and better.


It was then time for her to go on holiday to visit her family who lived abroad, for 3 weeks. We spent a few hours together before she left, and it was really nice. Kissing, joking, play fighting etc.

Throughout her holiday, she phoned me everyday, telling me how everything was going, what she'd been up to, teasing me about how much I'm missing her etc. Then at the end of the 3 weeks, she kept dropping hints about how i should ask her to be my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, and falling so fast. This was all so unlike me, not my style at all. But I didnt care, I gave into it and decided to enjoy it all. She kept telling me how she couldnt wait to see me, she missed me, etc etc all the mushy stuff. It was great,


She arrived back, and phoned me. I couldnt wait to meet-up, but didnt pressure her. This is where things went strange.


She was telling me how she didnt want to meet up, just the two of us, and wanted to wait until a few days later when we'd both be at the same club with friends. as much as this confused and upset me, I agreed.

A few days later in another phonecall, it got quite personal. She started to tell me how she was worried going back to university, how it would be hard to see me, and how she didnt want to sit up there every night crying because she missed me. I tried to reassure her, but she had thought it all through.


Her final year of university was coming up, and she didn't want anything jeopardising that. She's at one of the top ones in the UK, whereas I work in London. She was saying how she wished she'd met me in a years time, and would love me to wait a year, but she couldnt ask that. She loves the thought of me being in her graduation photos, stuff like that. She said she'd love to just be friends, close friends, and then see how things are in a year. She admitted that she was trying to push me away, so she didnt end up getting even more attached to me than she already was.


So we're "friends". She invited me to a party at the weekend just gone, so I went. I couldnt be myself around her, my head just kept racing. She noticed, and kept pulling me up on my quietness.

She dropped me home the following morning, and I couldnt pull myself out of this lull. We had an argument in the car (one of a few recent ones), and we left it bad.


I think by this point, the stress of it all was killing the attraction for her. After a couple of days, and some major arguments, she informed me that all she wants is friendship, I agreed.




I have never met anyone like her, ever, in my whole life. She is unique in every sense of the word. She's so outgoing, so active. The most intelligent person ever too. I have fallen for her so so so bad. She's reduced me to tears these last few days, and that says a lot.


This hurts so much. I'm hating getting out of bed at the moment, and work is the biggest chorse. I'm unable to keep my mind on things, it's killing me inside. I can't concentrate on anything but her.


I feel like a mug, I let myself fall quickly for this girl, against every judgement I had.


She wants me to meet her in a club with friends tomorrow night after work. I dont know what to do, I want to see her, I want to change her mind, I would to make myself appear attractive again, put myself in a good light. But she's going to dress up, and is a VERY attractive girl, and always gets attention off of other men. I'm going to find this so tough.


Please, any advice is greatly appreciated, so much. Any opinions. I really dont want to ignore her, but I see no other way apart from NC. It's killing me.



Thankyou to anyone who read that. I appreciate it so much x

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As she said, she didn’t want to get attached to U, & wants to finish college first. U feel rejected, confused, & already attached.


I think U should talk to her & tell her how U feel. Tell her that it’s hard for U to be a friend, for U have feelings for her. Ask her: does she consider to going back to romantic rel in a year. If she plans to come back to U, tell her U can wait; if not tell her U don’t want to hang in rel that hurts U.


Also she could be a woman “player”. Does she have other guy friends? So be careful, make sure she doesn’t play games w/ U.

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She's a player type, my heartbroken friend...


Us men fall for girls like these fast! This is so typical of my ex too... and take it from me, you'll end up flat on your face wondering why she left if you want a relationship with her. The only reason I now see why my ex went out with me was because she wanted to beat the other girls that were after me. Then brag about it, we were an item.


To keep yourself from further heart aches, I'd suggest you try and forget her... I know it's hard to take, but I have to say it. She's not worth it in the long run.


The road to Hell is paved with beautiful women like these... don't ever take that route... Look where I am... heartbroken and left with nothing but her baggage.

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