I want it to be as special as it can be. please help.

[thatdude1234]

My girlfriend and i are both virgins and have been talking about sex a great deal lately. We have decided that we are ready. We are no longer waiting to be ready but waiting for an opportunity. I have heard from friends that the first time sucks, that its awkward and i will have no idea what im doing. My girlfriend also is afraid of the pain, and her friends just reenforce the notion that it is a painful experience. I am nervous because i really love her and want to make sure that everything is special.

 

so my questions are:

1. how can i make it really special?

2. how can i make it less painful for her?

 

THANKS

[ghost69]

lube it up.

 

special? i dunno.

[riley123]

The first time for many, not all, but many is not about sexual pleasure, but rather the ‘experience.’ If you are both ready then it will be something neither of you will ever forget.

 

Personally, I don’t think you should go overboard trying to make it special with candles, silk sheets, etc.

 

Just be yourselves.

[thatdude1234]

but how about the pain?

 

i have no problem getting her off and getting her plenty wet and my condoms are prelubed but should i buy a lube just to add to it?

 

ive heard some alcohol helps to dull the pain but i wouldnt want her to be drunk or anything because then i would feel like i was taking advantage of her or something.

[ghost69]

get a small thing of lube just in case.

[thatdude1234]

also, how much pain should i expect her to be in?

[ghost69]

i can't really say. i'm sure it's different for each woman.

[theartofruin]

Foreplay, get her really wet, then there shouldn't be much/any pain. Forcing it in is going to be a horrible experience. I've slept with a couple of virgins in the past (unless they were lying) and aside from very mild comfort issues it was good for them.

 

Be confident, don't be all crazy and experimental, and let it happen naturally. Reassure her that it feels great to you, and ask her to be honest with you too so you know you're not doing anything wrong.

 

As someone else said -- candles and all that, nah. Just make sure you're alone, relaxed, and have all the time to enjoy it and the feeling of being together afterwards.

 

Enjoy, my friend

[zachiphus]

Right, foreplay would be in your best interest, it will help her get ready for you. Unless she is already pretty wet, lube may not be required.

 

To make it special? Don't be afraid to kiss her and explore her body with your hands and mouth. It's a way of showing your appreciation for her.

 

From what I've heard, many virgins will tighten up down there when they first have sex. Tell her to relax when you decide to enter her, maybe kiss her while you're doing it so she is concentrating on something else too.

[h0pelessr0mantic]

If she hasn't even used tampons before it will most likely be extremely painful. Just take it slowly and if she ever tells you to stop, stop! Also, she doesn't have to be drunk drunk, but you could maybe get some champagne or something and have a glass before (as long as you guys are both of age). Make a toast, both of you will feel less nervous, just make sure to only have a little.

[bijoux27]

Sweet & passionate foreplay is probably the most important for when you lose your virginity. Don't rush into it. Make lots of eye contact.

 

Don't use candles and all that...lol.

[redhearts]

Rose petals and candles! =] I think thats nice, haha. Don't use cheesy music, haha.

 

I say kissing too.

 

A condom.

[kyriel]

First off, is she confident enough to be on top? Not a requirement by any means, but from experience, its a lot easier to ease things in on top. She will instictively tense when the first bit of pain sets in and she will need a moment to relax her muscles. With you on top, she won't be in control of the penetration, which can hurt more. Honestly, I had never used tampons and I wasn't very athletic, but it didn't hurt me that much. It hurt, but I've had stubbed toes that did more damage. Be prepared for blood though. I know many virgins don't bleed that much, but my sheets looked like a murder scene the next morning. So don't be too shocked.

[thatdude1234]

im not going to go all out with the rose peddles and everything like that. and OF COURSE im going to use a condom.

 

i guess my question is about techniques to dull or prevent any pain.

[exploding head]

1. foreplay. Get her to relax. LISTEN to her. Youre the guy, its easy for you. Not so for her. touch her softly. ask her if she likes what you are doing. ask her what she would like to feel. kiss her softly. run your hands all over her.

 

2. go SLOW. When you begin to enter, take your time. make sure she is wet enough, and watch her responses.

 

3. ENJOY the experience.

 

4. use protection

[thatdude1234]

we almost did the other day (see the erection until it matters thread) its probably gonna happen soon so i want to bump this thread for more advice.

[romeo1546]

Go slow!!!! That is probably the most important thing, from my first experience with my ex's first experience. The very first time you put it in, don't shove it in there! Be very gentle and literally take a few seconds... and as everyone else is saying, feedback, feedback, feedback. Ask her how she feels and look in her eyes not only for intimacy but also to gauge whether she is hurting (or enjoying it)!

 

Oh, and about the whole special thing? What will make it most special is by not planning it! Don't set a night, even in your own head, where it will happen. The most special first time will be spontaneous and by planning it, it puts stress on the whole situation, which you most certainly do not want. That's just my own opinion but I hope it helps!