gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hey! Here I am, once again- in search of advice for my drama-of-a-life. I have a good friend who has a going away party planned for this weekend. She's moving over 1000 miles away for a new job. -I'm very excited for her. The problem is that she planned the party on the exact same day as my birthday. -No big deal right? Well... this will be the last opportunity I will have to see her because of my hectic work schedule and the fact that next week I'm leaving on vacation. She wants me to come to this party (which is an hour away from my home- no problem under normal circumstances) however, my friends have planned a big deal an hour in the opposite direction for me, where 20 - 30 of my good friends are going to be to celebrate with me. She wants me to have them all come to her party and doesn't see a problem with them driving 2 hours to HER deal just so I can be there to see her off. I don't really even know that there's advice to be given for this. It's pretty straight forward... (at least in my mind) that she's being unreasonable. I can't understand why she's so mad because of it, though. Anyone have an idea or opinion on the matter? Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yea...why do you feel you owe this chick anything?? You're never going to see her again. Go to your own party. Link to comment
riley123 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I agree with you, she's being unreasonable. Not that it really matters, but how far in advance of your birthday was her party planned? Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 We've known eachother for a long time and she has helped me through a few tough times. -She's the sister I never had. I guess that's why I feel I might "owe" which is a bad way of phrasing it because I don't feel like I owe her anything. I just want to see her before she leaves. BUT, I don't want to see her at the expense of have ALL my other friends together in one place (some of which I haven't seen in quite a while). -It's a pickle. She told me about her party on Friday evening of last week. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Can you make other plans with her before she leaves? Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 I'd like to... She's txt'd me every day this week while I've been at work saying she'd call me that evening, but she never does. I don't know if she is just being difficult or what... Link to comment
riley123 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 She told me about her party on Friday evening of last week. And I assume, because you are good friends, she knew that was the day of your birthday? Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I'd like to... She's txt'd me every day this week while I've been at work saying she'd call me that evening, but she never does. I don't know if she is just being difficult or what... Have you read my signature lines by chance? She seems self absorbed. I think it is very unfair of her to expect your party to come to her party. I know that you feel bad with not being able to attend hers and that you want to wish her well and all. But sometimes, we have to do what we have to do. Joining her is not something that is possible. And if she says she's going to call you, she should call you darn it. You asking your friends to drive two hours to her party where the focus is going to be on her after your friends have made plans for your birthday.... That would be unreasonable. And then your friends would be writing "We planned this great party but he must be head over heels for this girl because he insisted we all go to her party two hours away!" (little humor - hope you don't mind...) Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yup. -She did it to me last year with a "quitting her job" party. EXACT SAME DAY. Then harped on me all the next week for not coming... I was like "I was at home, with MY friendS- not just friend" Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 I certainly don't mind... I would EXPECT that they kick my butt for making them go to her party (which I know they would do if I asked... but I'm not gunna ) Just complaining about it has made me feel a bit better. THANKS! Link to comment
luvs2kayak Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Wow, it almost seems like she's testing you or something. Stay strong. Go to your birthday party with your other friends. Tell her she's invited. Plan something else with her another day, maybe just you two. And do not feel one ounce of guilt. Happy Birthday!!!! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I certainly don't mind... I would EXPECT that they kick my butt for making them go to her party (which I know they would do if I asked... but I'm not gunna ) Just complaining about it has made me feel a bit better. THANKS! Maybe you could make a clone of yourself for Saturday! So you can be both places? Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 I did... but he became sentient and I had to kill him. -So now, I have a dead clone in my mom's deep freeze AND I've got this girl who thinks I ought to come to her going away party instead of MY birthday. LOL Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 UPDATE: Since she hasn't called me all week despite telling me in the morning that she 'would' of each day, I sent her a text saying my phone number is ***-*****, incase you forgot. She sent back "I'm SOOO sorry, I've been soo busy this week". Being busy is a "sore-spot" with me. Anyways... ITG, I did read your quotes... I think one in particular has exponential relevance in this situation. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I did... but he became sentient and I had to kill him. -So now, I have a dead clone in my mom's deep freeze AND I've got this girl who thinks I ought to come to her going away party instead of MY birthday. LOL Love it~~~ lol Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 UPDATE: Since she hasn't called me all week despite telling me in the morning that she 'would' of each day, I sent her a text saying my phone number is ***-*****, incase you forgot. She sent back "I'm SOOO sorry, I've been soo busy this week". Being busy is a "sore-spot" with me. Anyways... ITG, I did read your quotes... I think one in particular has exponential relevance in this situation. Did she follow with any concrete plans for today, tomorrow, or Friday? Ppfff.... I can't imagine ever suggesting someone have their party move to the loca of my party especially 2 hours away! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Which party were you invited to first? I would think going to that one is the right thing to do. Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Well... I've know about my birthday for 24 years... give or take... LOL -I'm just kidding. I get together with my friends every year. It's sorta understood that we go out for a drink or 29... She only gave me a week's notice on her party, which is normally enough for me... but, she's known about my b-day for a lot longer. I believe she just assumed I would move my party or have them follow me to hers. -And it's not that I 'want' to be the center of attention, but gosh-darnit, its my mother effin birthday!!!! Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Did she follow with any concrete plans for today' date=' tomorrow, or Friday? Ppfff.... I can't imagine ever suggesting someone have their party move to the loca of my party especially 2 hours away![/quote'] She just said that she "would call me when she gets home" I don't expect my phone to ring. Link to comment
25thfloor Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yup. -She did it to me last year with a "quitting her job" party. EXACT SAME DAY. Then harped on me all the next week for not coming... I was like "I was at home, with MY friendS- not just friend" so this is a habit with her. politely decline, invite her to yours, and be done with it. she's very rude and self-centered. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 She can't be serious?! She wants to have your friends cancel their plans for you and then on top of that, make them drive a whole 2 hours(gas prices anyone??) to her party?? Those aren't her friends!! Your friend is trippin'...Seriously. Sorry, but I can't describe it any other way...lol The fact that she's done this before is extremely suspicious to me. I would explain to her that it would be extremely rude and disrespectful of you to back out on the plans your friends have made for your birthday, and that you two will have to get together some other time before she leaves. It's almost like she's either trying to make you prove to her how much of a 'friend' you really are...OR she doesn't want you to have any special attention on your special day. Either way it goes, it's incredibly selfish and unreasonable of her to make this request... Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I would tell her that i have cancelled my party and convinced everyone to come to hers ..hahaahha...and then get drunk on my b'day and sing songs ..in a loud voice ..hehehe.. Also tell her that you are so excited that the day you are to get married ..you will dump your fiance and come wherever she may be to sing her songs of her praises hahahaha Link to comment
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