To live together or not to live together...

[aymee_lee]

I met my boyfriend while holidaying overseas. We now have a long distance relationship. He lives about 4000kms away. I am considering moving to his town. Just wondering what the advice is of people who have done the same thing. I realize every situation is different but for the sake of getting advice, when moving to be together, would you move in together or get your own place? I see good points on both sides. In one sense I'd like to get my own place to keep some independence and create some sense of my own life there too but then I think if I'm moving accross the country I'd like to be with him! We've been together 5 months.Thoughts?

[Daligal83]

Definitely get your own place. After 5 months, especially being long distance, you don't really know this guy that well yet. That short of a relationship is too soon to move in together when you are in the same city in my opinion, so being long distance doesn't help that. You need that time to get to know each other as a "normal" couple and then down the line decide if that step is something you are ready to take. There's no sense in rushing things and you can still definitely be with him while keeping your own apartment.

[Whiskers]

Definitely get your own place. After 5 months, especially being long distance, you don't really know this guy that well yet. That short of a relationship is too soon to move in together when you are in the same city in my opinion, so being long distance doesn't help that. You need that time to get to know each other as a "normal" couple and then down the line decide if that step is something you are ready to take. There's no sense in rushing things and you can still definitely be with him while keeping your own apartment.

 

This is great advice. I moved over seas to be with my fiance...and though it worked out, I can see clearly that it could easily have fallen apart.

 

It's best not to move into HIS place, get YOUR place and when you move in together, find an OUR place.

 

XXXX

[rikka]

Definitely get your own place. After 5 months, especially being long distance, you don't really know this guy that well yet. That short of a relationship is too soon to move in together when you are in the same city in my opinion, so being long distance doesn't help that. You need that time to get to know each other as a "normal" couple and then down the line decide if that step is something you are ready to take. There's no sense in rushing things and you can still definitely be with him while keeping your own apartment.

 

Excellent advice and exactly what I was going to say.

[wendyemail]

Good point!! my boyfriend wanted to move in with me. He is from UK and I am in Canada. i miss him so much... I wish he can afford to get his own place here.