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How to express platonic love?

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So quickly:

I am REALLY in love with my fraternity brother, and we're already really close. My love for him, though, (as best as I can read it) is COMPLETELY PLATONIC, as hard as it may seem to believe for both you and me (believe me, I'm shocked it's not more sexual). You know, we talk and have heart-to-hearts and hug a lot but it's really weird for me, I've never experienced anything like this. I love him more than I've loved anyone before, and when I see him I see happiness and joy and security and he is literally like a big brother to me. It's kindof hero worship, you could say, but I don't feel below him in any way. It's the best relationship I've ever been in.


The problem is, because it's so intense, I have no idea how to express my love for him without being gay. I mean, usually when I love someone this much I want to have sex....somewhere in my mind "sex = physical expression of love." I'm a complete virgin (don't know if that's helpful). Like, I really want to kiss him or something but that too is gay, which is unfortunate because for me there's nothing sexual about a kiss or even about love. In my life/mind/upbringing, love ==> sex or money. I never really loved my parents, which is weird, but I always attributed this to my own twisted understanding of love (i.e. I don't know what love is).


Maybe I should go to counseling? Usually I would ask him for advice but, seeing that this IS about him, that probably wouldn't work.

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i have a similar relationship with a girl friend of mine. Really intense intimacy, completely platonic. We don't talk a lot about it a lot, because we just kinda know. Friendship is different from a relationship, so you don't have to talk about the 'us' very often, and when you do, when we do talk about it, it is very simple, direct, and honest. And a very short statement. We never talk at length about the bond between us. I don't completely know why, but I don't think it is necessary to. If you want to express your love for him, just say "i love you, man" when an appropriate time comes up, or something like that, and leave it at that. because he knows it, you know it. I only really say how deeply I care for her when it my feelings are particularly strong, like after she's been really really supportive of me or done me a huge favour, or something like that.

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To love = To care for someone/something. (don't make it anymore difficult then that for yourself uneccesary)


I think that a slow approuch is the best way to go.


But i can't help but laugh thinking in my imagination about the direct approuch method were you slam the door open and say: I LOVE YOU, WIL YOU MARRY ME?! =D

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I find it really sweet. I'd kill to have a relationship like that. However, why do you want to express it? It seems that the relationship you have is enough for you. Sure you could say something like "I'm so glad you're my friend", "I'd be completely lost without you" or "I love you man" in an off-hand way, but to seriously express love makes me think that you are looking for a reaction from him that could push your relationship to another level? Why do you want him to know that you love him?


off-topic: i'm loving this forum. Great reads everywhere.

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Thanks for all the replies, seriously

I don't know why I want him to know that I love him.....I guess I'm a heartless bastard, or at least I am in my mind/interpretation. I rarely love, so for me this is something new and extravagant and special. I don't know if this is relevant and I apologize in advance but I was abused as a child so there's something very special about physical contact with someone you trust entirely. And I don't know if I'm overanalyzing this but I guess by extension then the greatest feeling of love (in my mind) is like skin-to-skin physical contact, there's something very vulnerable about it. I've never hugged anyone skin-to-skin so I guess that in itself is something new and special in my mind.

I'm pretty sure he knows I love him but, it's weird, for some reason that's not enough. Words don't mean much to me....they're just a bunch of sounds.

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