Need some advice

[martin345]

I have never really shared my thoughts so here goes, I have been with my fiance for about 2 years now. I love spending time with her and just hanging out she pretty mych is a best friend to me. We live together and get along well. But as of a while ago I have been having thoughts of leaving her and already tried but broke down and went back to her. I always have thoughts of how to leave her or when and so on. Its like part of me wants to stay with her and the other part wants to leave and find new oppritunities and live on my own for a little. I am at a loss on what to do, I have trouble sleeping and get stressed out over it all the time. any advice?

 

martin

[redhearts]

Sounds to me like you miss being single and on your own. Is she over crowding your space?

[tina-rocks]

Hi Martin,

 

If you really feel this way for her sake end it now.

 

Seems harsh I know but nothing in your post indicates she's anything other than supportive The problem I think is you really feel for her more as a best friend.

 

Let her go now while she has time to recover and move on.

 

Tina

[martin345]

I have my own workshop and lately she has told me to spend me time whenever I want but it just doesn't feel enough for me. I've had dreams of how I would set up my appartment just the way I like it. I've never lived on my own and acually was a dream of mine to at least live alone for a couple of years. That was 2 years ago and now I am 20 and it just keeps coming up in my mind more.

[redhearts]

Okay, so do you want to break up with her because you don't love her? Or do you just want to have your own place to have the experience and are not ready to commit to her yet?

[martin345]

A big part of me feels that way tina, I think it is just hard after 2 years of caring for someone and knowing they love you to end it. I think that is my biggest obstacle to get over.

[stereoeclectic]

is there anything wrong in the relationship?

[martin345]

Thats just it red I am not sure, in one hand I have someone who loves me and will always be there for me and the other just everyhting about living on my own I don't care about being able to sleep with whoever I want or anything like that. I'm just trying to decide whether I want to stay with her or sacrifice living on my own. As well she is 27 if that makes a difference

[martin345]

Not a thing is wrong with the relationship it is like living with a best friend. It is more on my side and my thoughts.

[candy024]

If those feelings have been creeping up for a while and are not going away then it is your gut giving you subtle signals that you need to move on because you are not completely happy or ready to be committed. Nothing wrong with that!

 

The reason you're questioning yourself is bc when you've been with someone that long they become a part of your everyday life and well, you're used to that person being around. When they leave, it only feels weird in the beginning. And don't worry about taking a risk and that you may not find someone else. You gotta stay true to yourself and obviously you don't really want to be with her.

[martin345]

Thanks for the reply candy that makes a lot of sense. These feelings have been creeping up on me and acually they have been getting lowder lately. It will be hard but your right about staying true to yourself. Thx again