I cried for the first time at work

[Takotsubo]

I can't believe how pathetic I was. I had to excuse myself from a meeting because I was starting to lose it. Nobody said anything to trigger it, I was suddenly just swept up in emotions. Nobody saw me and I waited until I was outside, but then I started sobbing like a child.

 

Background:

 

She cheated on me. I found out from the doctor (Ugh) and I lost 9.9 years of a relationship because of it. Next month would have been our 10 year and marriage. She was too controlling, and although she stood by me, she betrayed me in the ultimate act of selfishness.

 

I don't know why in the world this happened at the most inopportune time, but I have been NC for the past 5 days. Not very long, but it will def. extend indefinitely because I love myself too much.

 

Why does this have to strike at the worst time? Anybody ever have this happen to them?

 

Maybe I waited too long to just let it out, but to be honest, I didn't feel like crying until today.

 

Sorry, just had to vent. I know that I go through some drastic mood swings these days. I also know that there is nowhere to go but up.

[Godwin]

Sorry to here that man, but emotion is natural, learn not to fight it and you will heal quicker!!!

 

There IS light at the end of the tunnel, believe me, I have found it after some really hard times.

[Seraphim]

Just remember you made a good choice! DO NOT HAVE CONTACT WITH HER AT ALL. It is ok to cry it means you are human. Take up some form of exercise it makes the soul feel good and builds the endorphins and dopamine recpetors and makes you feel good.

[Nearwater]

Don't worry, It's not just you. I too am a grown man, and have lost control of my emotions regularly since a bad break up a few months ago. Tried riding my bike again and actually broke down on a ride... how lame is that!

[Takotsubo]

Not really that lame. A little dangerous, though =)

 

I am probably going to lose it a few more times at the most inauspicious of moments. I have to admit, though, it felt pretty good!

[tina-rocks]

I'm sorry you are feeling it so badly today. I know what it's like to just break down like that. No control just simply happens. Quite scary as well.

 

It seems to happen to me a lot. In the car whilst driving. Walking down the street. While watching a film. Feeding the cat. Just about any situation.

 

Not sure why it happens as can't seem to figure out what triggers as it is so random.

 

Pain is so hard to deal with I know

 

x

[Nearwater]

It is something I guess we really need to ask ourselves... about our mental health.

 

If my ex can be happy flitting around for a couple of months in her rebound

 

What is my problem that I have developed such bad mental problems from this break-up

 

I went to bed saturday and stayed there till sunday afternoon

[surfjon]

Hey man....

You're being hard on yourself, and you are all you have so be cool!!

 

I'm over a year out of being dumped and still mist up at odd times, there are myriad triggers, you just never know what will set it off.

 

I used to "set-aside" a sort of "crying time" when I was in the shower!! I could get it outta me in a controlled environment!! sorta sad, but it worked for me......

 

I have a real problem though when I drop my kids to her after they visit.

Watching them get in her car or walk up to her apartment brings a guaranteed set of misty eyes at the least. I had my truck tinted soooo dark!! At least I can hide that way, it's just sad and I can't help it.

[lapseinjudgement]

I think that macho man idea is a little over rated. If you bottle everything up than some time at the worst time its all going to crack.

 

and takotsubo i was cheated on after a five year relationship so i know your pain man. I had never felt pain like that before and it still bothers me every day. just remember one day at a time and let yourself cry if you need to dont think any less of yourself. You've been hurt in a horrible way.

[civilservant]

I did this too, not in a meeting, but in a teleconferance with my superior. The problem I had was she worked with me, and it made it even tougher. I made sure didnt see what she'd done to me though, went outside, controlled myself, and went back to work.

 

Occupying your mubd is a sound tactic, and work does that, but invetiably your going to crack at times and thats ok too, you are human after all. Its easy to say but if they leap into your mind at work push them down, tell yourself (out loud if nessacery) they aren't worth it. It will get better.

[orangesoda]

trust me. you're better off being able to cry than wanting to and NOT being able to.

 

that's the worst feeling in the world - you have all this sorry pent up inside and you just want SO badly to release it but the tears won't come. It's one of the most frustrating experiences ever.