Wife no longer has feelings for me... Separation

[obsesor]

sigh, yes.. and people will yell at me, but im not going to see a lawyer, we are going to come to our own agreement and have the lawyer draw up the paperwork

[ImThatGirl]

sigh, yes.. and people will yell at me, but im not going to see a lawyer, we are going to come to our own agreement and have the lawyer draw up the paperwork

 

Cheaper that way. And worth a try. But really, be sure to cover your own.... at this point, Obs... really, you need to. Make sure that your babies are taken care of.

 

But do not mistake that being easy going will get her to realize how good of a guy you are and she'll change her mind.

[obsesor]

Oh no, im over that i think im on the otherside now. I want it to be done. I spent like 3 days in silence just thinking EVERYTHING over and once i was done I move out like 2 days later. Still sad to think about, I just know it would be VERY difficult if not impossible to have a loving relationship with her anymore at this point, after all she has done. I love her, but realize im not in love with her anymore either, i was just wanting to stay near my children. I looked at how much I changed myself to be with her, and I am looking forward to being myself again.

[avman]

sigh, yes.. and people will yell at me, but im not going to see a lawyer, we are going to come to our own agreement and have the lawyer draw up the paperwork

 

Nothing wrong with that at all. If you can work out most of the details between the two of you it will be far cheaper and less acrimonious. But I would really recommend you at least have an attorney hired by you review the paperwork and make sure you haven't accidently missed something or put something in the agreement that you'll live to regret later. For an hour or two of their time it won't be all that expensive. But if a mistake is made that could be something you regret for a very long time, especially where children are concerned.

[Odysseus]

Oh no, im over that i think im on the otherside now. I want it to be done. I spent like 3 days in silence just thinking EVERYTHING over and once i was done I move out like 2 days later. Still sad to think about, I just know it would be VERY difficult if not impossible to have a loving relationship with her anymore at this point, after all she has done. I love her, but realize im not in love with her anymore either, i was just wanting to stay near my children. I looked at how much I changed myself to be with her, and I am looking forward to being myself again.

 

Oh man. Isn't that the truth. You feel like you changed yourself for her...I have to keep reminding myself of the same things, or there is a chance I'll end up giving in to the guilt.

 

You've done what you had to do. Now just love those kids and find some peace and happiness for yourself.

 

-O

[obsesor]

For sure, im all over it!

[travwilbury]

I dont even know where to start.. but my wife of almost 8 years recently told me she has absolutely no feelings for me and is numb to me and wants to get a separation. We have two kids together 4 & 5 and were in the process of building a house. we just moved away from where we have lived the past 7 years and now i really have absolutely no one, all my family is 3000 miles away and i dont know what to do, she wants me out (we are living with her parents while our house was being built), i dont have much of a choice.

 

I just want to get in bed and cry my eyes out.

 

any words of advice? or comfort?

 

I am on the other side of the fence. I left my wife because I had little in the way of romantic feelings left.

 

So I can give you some perspective. Like others said, she has been thinking of this for a long time and you need to give her the space to figure it out. Just be nice and cordial if you can and concentrate on you. Do not seem to needy. Also, figure out what things have been bothering her (emotional needs) and try to improve these areas.

 

My wife has done a great job with the whole situation. Which actually makes my final decision very hard. We have been apart little more then a year. We still see a counselor which helps with communication no matter if we make it or not.

 

The last piece of the puzzle for me is can I get some romantic feelings back. It is not easy when you have lost it.

 

Good luck......

[obsesor]

Appreciate your reply but unfortunately its done. She reminds me all the time there is no chance in hell of reconciliation and I miss her so much everyday. Its hard.

[Odysseus]

Hang in there guy. PM me if you want someone to talk to.