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Rant - ditched by friends


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Last night I went out with some friends. We went to a bar and watched the Olympics for awhile, then after some time we were just sitting there, drinking, not saying much. I was in a great mood still, and wanted all of my friends and I to start dancing. But my friends kept giving me excuses, i.e. the music's not good yet, I'm tired, I'm gonna wait a little bit... there were plenty of good songs coming from the DJ, and at some point I decided to go up and dance, by myself.


I saw another group of my friends at the bar already dancing (but in a different social circle), and I went up to dance with them. It was fun, but when I went to sit back down at my table, my friends were still sitting there, drinking, gossiping about other people, and not wanting to dance now because they were too tired and were going to go home soon. Well, not one to bail on my friends for the entire night, I sat at the table until they were finished with their drinks.


One friend ended up leaving on her own. But my other friends.... the second a guy asked them to dance, they hit the dance floor. No questions, no reservations, just "come dance with me" and they turned into different people. Even one of my friends turned to me before going to the dance floor and said, "watch me dance!"


I don't think it's right that my friends won't dance with each other, but will dance with a guy at the drop of a hat. It's as though the only way they were going to dance or have a good time is if they had to be talking to, or be seen with a man. I was really hurt by this display of friendship.


It never used to be this way, but maybe it's bc of our age (mid-twenties), that we're out of college and becoming more serious about men? Maybe friendship is less important than finding a man.... or maybe I need new friends.

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I can see your point, shyguy, but it's happened more than just once - this whole year, basically. They can't possibly be moody every time we go out, because that's how they act all the time now? Am I the moody one? I'm starting to lose hope that these friends want anything out of our friendship except for someone to start the night off with, and then it's just a matter of sitting and waiting for the men to approach them... and I have no problems meeting guys, believe me! But it's certainly not the ONLY reason we go out.

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Yeah i hear you...i think maybe your friends want something different in their life at the moment ..see common goals need to a good friendship. If they dont share a common thought process with you then its going to be difficult.


I WOULD keep them as friends but also try finding some like minded people. I mean in that way you would be more relaxed when you meet them, as you would have someother like minded friends.

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That's a good idea. I guess it's just a fact of life that friends grow apart, and it's hard for me bc I've been friends with these girls for such a long time, I don't necessarily want to lose them, but maybe meeting in bars isn't the place for us anymore.


I agree with the common goals thing too... I'm gonna reconnect with my like-minded 'dancing' buddies, I think that's a good idea. Thanks everyone for your advice.

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