You know that awkward feeling you get when you're in a lift/elevator with a total stranger?

[Mustang]

I have that constantly. I feel as if I'm in a lift/elevator with my own personality and it is really bad at the moment. Don't worry, I'm not hearing voices or anything like that, it's just negative thoughts and worries tend to just build up and build up in my head and never go away.

 

The only thing I can do is to drink and take drugs but that obviously brings new problems. I feel so uncomfortable sober that I drink. Then when I make an idiot of myself I feel even more uncomfortable when I'm sober. So I drink more. Talk about a vicious circle.

 

You could say that this is all because of my ex girlfriend and the hurt I went through with that / have been going through. My ex made me question myself - I made some mistakes in the relationship which I regret but she treated me so horribly during and after the break up. I've refused to let anybody hurt me like that ever again.

 

I struggle to trust people and I can't be myself around anybody anymore. I constantly feel like the real me isn't good enough and I have to put on an act around everybody I know. The trouble is, I now have no idea who the hell I am anymore and I don't feel like anybody else knows the real me either because of all the acts I feel I have to put on.

 

Woah. Rant over.

[Teresa24]

my story to share

 

when I am in an elevator with a total stranger, especially at evening time, I like to imagine that stranger is a ghost(maybe because I've read many ghost stories relating to elevator), and sometimes I even believe the stranger will show his real face and eat me.

 

It may sounds funny and everytime it is just a false alarm

 

I've already got used to this problem.Believe it or not,I am not frightened of murder,robbery or war.What I feel most frightened of is ghost-one thing I've never seen.

 

It has been reported that people who are frightened of ghost may suffer from depression.

 

But if you keep on questioning yourself,that should be symptom of OCD,I guess.

[amipushy]

Its whats called Introspection. Deeper versions are called Derealisation and Depersonalisation which are caused mainly by anxiety and obsessive negative thinking which evenutally lead to brain fatigue and causes isolation and a "broken record" of negative thoughts replaying in your mind effect.

 

The way out is to shrug them off and don't worry about it, accept its where you are right now and keep busy and in the company of others for a while and it will fade over time and you will step out of that elevator without even noticing.