BlondeAmbition Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 My bf of nearly two years broke up with me in May, due to a downward spiral of recycling the same arguments over and over, stresses in our lives...but mainly, it was due to my battle with anxiety. (my whole family struggles with it) I would overreact, lash out, start crying/yelling over little things, like him being 20 minutes late to dinner, or bumping up bowling from 8pm to 6pm. I also criticized him constantly - for example, instead of being proud and enouraging while he researched/looked into becoming a first-time homeowner, I was skeptical, critical and sometimes pessimistic/selfish about it. Even though his heart is closed off to the idea of reunion right now, I remember how much he loved me. His friends are shocked and deeply saddened, too...I've been keeping in contact with a few of them, since we became so close over the last two years. I just keep remembering how much he loved me, how patient/kind he was...and how guilty I feel for driving him away. I know I need to work on my anxiety for myself, first...and not to gain back his love. But, at the same time, if I truly take positive, pro-active steps to overcoming my anxiety and fears/impulsiveness...I feel he might have a change of heart. Not today, next week, or next month...but maybe months down the line. Should I go LC so he can see I'm making positive changes, or keep NC (I'm one month NC right now) until I feel I've really made a lot of progress? Also, he finally closed on the house (facebook informed me). He loves nature/plants, so I thought of sending him a plant (bonsai, his favorite) with a small card, simply saying "Congratulations on the new home. I'm proud and happy that your hard work paid off. Best wishes." Is this a bad idea? Is this breaking NC? Link to comment
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