Do I love him - getting back together?

[Angel_325]

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago. It was very difficult for both of us but at the time I had made my decison (I had been thinking about it for a while) and I did it. I was very calm and explained the entire situation to him and why we were wrong for each other. The problem is that we are too different in almost every way you can think. We often have trouble understanding each other and he often dismisses my feelings. He thinks that I always need to be right whereas the problem is that he simply doesn't understand my feelings on issues that concern me. Most of our problems have been around silly issues if I think about it, but it all showed me that we are very different. I felt very sick for the next couple of days after the break up. I waso extremely depressed and couldn't even get ouf of the house. Yesterday he calls me and tells me that he loves me and if I loved him back (which he doesn't think I do) I would not have let him go so easily. He thinks that because he loves me, and if I loved him, that should be enough and nothing else matters. When we broke up we agreed to stay in touch, but he said he could not do that. He said either we get back together and try again or we forget each other's contact information and never see each other again because he just couldn't handle seeing me or knowing that there might be someone else eventualy. I completely understand his feelings. I even feel the same, but I didn't want to lose him because I really do care for him and love him. I was so miserable without him, and it was only 2 days! This my first and his first serious relationship so I don't know how to sort out my feelings. Do I love him or do I just need him? Please help!

 

When we spoke yesterday (2.5 hours on the phone) I did agree to give us another chance but with the understanding that I can't promise that all will be good from now on. That it's up to the both of us. But that if I didn't try again I would feel incomplete. At least if it doesn't work the second time than I know for sure it will not work. But I still wanted to try again. He agreed.

 

I'm also very conflicted about my decison to get back together. I want to see what other men are out there but I've always had trouble meeting guys. I'm a pretty smart girl trying to get my Masters and I've noticed that a lot of men are a bit frightened by that. I want to give us antoher chance but at the same time I want to meet other guys and see what else is out there. I just want to start out as friends with the next guy(s) I meet and than see what happens. I don't want to jump into a relationship. But if I started making male friends I would be cheating on my boyfriend, right? Even if there are no sexual relations of any kind. Please help. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't function in my daily life because I just don't know what to do anymore. My parents think I made a huge mistake giving him another chance. Please help!

[HeartGoesOn]

I don't think it was fair of you to tell him you'd give him another chance, especially when you want to see what else is out there. That's just making it look like you're stringing him along...very unfair!

 

Why don't you take some time for yourself to decide what's best for you? Also, explain this to him.

 

You can't go wrong by being honest.

[barbielovesmac]

You are stringing him along, that is what you are doing.

 

It is very unfair to him.

 

You should always be honest with your feelings because in the long run it's going to hurt him more.

[keenan]

He used the only weapon he had left (his friendship) to manipulate you into agreeing to give it another try. Go with your gut.