Need to vent...

[ccpjc]

Well its been a few months since I've been here.

 

If anyone is curious about why I was here before then you are free to search my previous posts.

 

In a nut shell, I came on here like everyone else does. After a few months I met this girl and we hit it off pretty good. But now I'm here again.

 

This morning we had a big fight, it ended with her saying I'm done and hanging up on me. Check her facebook and her status says she's done and moving on, she also changes her picture from our normal one together. (why she has to let the whole world know is beyond me) but what she doesn't change is her relationship status.

 

A background on us, we have a long distance relationship 3+ hours of driving. So we see each other on the weekends only. During the week we talk everyday, morning calls, lunch calls and evening calls. But on the weekend if I'm not there or her here she goes out with her friends and the rule is we can't talk cause its rude to be on the phone when she's around her friends. Take note, if I'm out with friends and shes at home I give her all the time in the world to talk and my friends don't care cause they understand that we don't see each other as much as everyone else does. She will txt me once every 4-5 hours and that's about it. If I call her or she calls me its the shortest conversation you will ever have. Yesterday we talked for a total of 2 minutes. She can't even call me to say goodnight...

 

Well after not hearing anything from her yesterday, not knowing where she was who she was with or anything I called her only to be ignored. I then txted her friend to see what was up. She was staying at her friends house and then her friend got her to call me.

 

I then had enough, we fought and she said she knew this was going to happen "cause we always do when she goes out with her friends" (as she said to me).

 

I fully understand that its rude to talk on the phone when your with your friends, but for her to restrict me like this and not even call to say goodnight or morning or anything is beyond my belief.

 

One of my friends I was talking to said this...

"I really don't get that. I figured you guys talked a lot since you live far apart. If my bf lived 3 hours away I'd want to talk to him all the time. It shouldn't matter if shes with her friends cause you should matter more since your not there with her like them. She can see them whenever she wants."

 

I feel this way exactly and I tried explaining this before but she never listened to it and said I'm trying to control her or some garbage like that.

 

Also when we are hanging out with her friends, I don't even feel like I'm wanted, I feel like I'm just there and it's so damn frustrating.

 

What to do now? I don't know. I love her a lot. She's the type of girl that once its over she doesn't look back. I don't know if we're together anymore or not. Haven't heard from her all day but I know I can't call her either.

 

And ps, she keeps bringing my past up for some damn reason.

[lisa1126]

It just may be her way, her style, not needing to be in touch as often as you would like or need.

 

If there are enough compatibility in other areas, and you two like each other, you might just want to be little more patient with her, i.e., don't think that her lack of touch base is necessarily rejecting you.

 

give her some time. let her initiate calls and texts and see what happens.

[ccpjc]

from what she has said through our relationship.

she likes being in contact with her guy, whether that's seeing or talking to on the phone.

 

there was a period of a couple weeks at the start of july where I didn't have my cell phone and we could only talk when I called her. After 3 days she was considering breaking it off with me. Yet she can go an entire weekend without saying a single word to me just cause she's with her friends

[annie24]

i think it's rude to be on the phone with your bf/gf, in the presense of your friends. i mean, c'mon, you are hanging out with your friends! if you want to talk on the phone, then stay home. i always hate that, when i am out with friends, and they start having a long conversation with someone. it makes me think, 'ok, should i just leave now?' besides, if you are talking several times a day, why not just talk to each other when you come back home?

 

i do agree, that you are sounding way too controlling.

[ccpjc]

maybe i should add.

in the morning its to say goodmorning. conversation last about 20 seconds to wake her up

at lunch its 2 minutes to see how the day is going.

in the evening its at most 10-15 minutes to say goodnight and stuff.

 

you tell me this is too much? have you had a long distance relationship? I can't see her all the time like other people can see their bf/gf

 

and how is it fair when im out she can talk to me whenever and for how long she wants but i can't talk to her for more than 1 minute once a day?

 

and if me and her are out, she talks to her friends for as long as she wants as many times as she calls them or they call her...

 

do you care to rethink what you wrote?

[annie24]

look, if this relationship isn't meeting your needs, then break up. sounds like you two are incompatible. some people like to stay in touch more than others.

 

i think if she's out with her friends, she shouldn't be answering phone calls. that's my 2 cents.

[ccpjc]

way to be helpful... having a bad day? please don't take it out on me

 

thanks

[annie24]

i am being helpful, am not having a bad day.

 

look, you like to stay in contact, you like hearing from your gf more often. not everyone is like that. sounds like your (ex)-gf is one of them. some people like more space than others. some people are more affectionate/close than others. if you are looking for a close gf who pays more attention to you, then i am simply saying that it doesn't sound like this is the girl for you. what you consider typical bf/gf behavior, she considers controlling. sounds like a fundamental difference between you two.