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Help Me Figure This Guy Out


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I need a little help figuring this guy out. Mostly for future reference, as there really is no possibility of a long term situation with this man. I don't want to get to far into the details of the backstory as many of you have read them before. Its a long distance situation with a man I met on vacation about a month ago, who came to visit about a week, week and a half ago. He was acting overly interested...everyday phone calls or at least texts until his visit. Since his visit, things have played out roughly like this:


Day of his return home: Texts all night--I miss you already, wish you were here, looking forward to seeing you again, hopefully the end of the month, etc.


Day 2 of return: Found out his job is going away, tells me this over text. We talk over text about this for a bit, but texts are a little sporadic. Understandable.


Day 3-4: Radio silence. I figured he wasn't interested after he came out here.


Day 5: Text that says "Hi", followed by about three more texts, then a phone call. Tells me he thinks he is going to take a job overseas at the end of next month. Also lets me in on some rather personal details of his background that you definitely would not tell to just any random person. Says he'll talk to me again soon.


Day 6: Radio silence.


Day 7: I text him, saying I was thinking about him and was hoping he was having a good week. He responds, there are a couple texts. I don't repsond till the next day.


Day 8: I respond to his text, he responds saying we could spend a few days together next month in Europe, later that night he sends a couple texts about there being some good deals over there, and about his last couple of days. I respond, I hear nothing back.


Day 9: Text from him asking if I am busy this night, I say not at the moment, then he never responds.


Day 10: I ask if he got my text the night before. He responds immediately, saying yes but he was going to bed, how was my weekend, a few texts about his plans for his new job. The last response was from me.



Basically, I don't get it. He went from being all about me every day for three weeks, to this. He's definitely still keeping in touch, but its really random and sporadic. He always responds if I text him, and we'll text back and forth for a bit, then he will just disappear. I know he's been very busy with his job (no days off until the middle of the month), and the change in job plans has got to be a big deal. But I'm obviously not feelign the same interest level as before. What I don't understand is if he isn't interested, why is he keepnig in touch at all? And why is he saying random things about us spending a few days in Europe?


Because he is leaving for a new job overseas, this can't work out anyway, but I'm trying to get some insight so I can understand these things better in the future...

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I don't see the point in beating yourself up over this Kat. There really is nothing else you can do. I think he may be trying to move on but don't wanna tell you or there is someone else. I would just let him know that there is no future and that what you had was fun but maybe it's time to move on as you said there is no future anyway.

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Thats what I am thinking as well.


Some people have told me they think otherwise, which is the only thing that got me thinking anything else.


I just didn't know if it was worth trying to keep up some sort of friendship, or if he was just trying to be nice and not outright blow me off.


Oh, and thanks for all your responses. Along with most other people on here, I am the world's worst overanalyzer, so an objective voice of reason is a big help.

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i find it rather suspect that he's suddenly 'taking a new job and moving' right after his week lovey-dovey vacation with you. since he was so enthusiastic up to the vacation, my guess is that he wanted to butter you up, and make sure you two had a nice time together. now that he's gone, he's keeping you at arms' length. texting enough so that you keep him in your thoughts, but not enough to be actually considering a relationship with him, etc.... my guess is he is contacting you enough just to keep you around on 'standby.' more than likely, i'd say he has a few women all over the world that he keeps in contact like this with 'just in case.'


i'd forget him. especially since you know this relationship isn't meant to be. i wonder if he really is moving away and losing his job. i sort of doubt that story, just due to the timing.

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Agree with Annie. Many people change their mind after only a few weeks of dating. Most of his texts had nothing to do with specific plans to see you, and he wasn't too responsive to your response about actually seeing each other. I think you have the right mindset. On to bigger and better things!

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I have to say that I know his story about his job to be true. I have a family member that sits on the board of the company that employs him. He happens to work in an extremely niche-y, somewhat exotic and glamorous industry, and there happens to be a lot of opportunity in what he does overseas. I'm also fairly certain that there are no other women involved, although I could be wrong, but I don't think I am (I would give more detail, but on the off chance that someone would see this, they would know it was me, which would not be good.) He was engaged until a few months ago however.


I guess I'm in a situation where I enjoyed his company and talking to him, and would have liked to see him again, but really just for fun. I like him, but realize there is no long term potential in this. Our lives are total opposites, and his job allows him NO stability in his life. He doesn't even actually have a home...he lives wherever he is working at the time. Really the whole thing was just for fun from the get-go. I'm just not sure I want the fun to be over quite yet! I just wanted to know if he was trying to blow me off and I wasn't getting the hint. Even though I would never see this guy again, there is a certain amount of my self respect I want to leave in tact

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Thanks for the responses. Much appreciated!


Yeah, he's said from the get go he knows his career allows him really no opportunity for relationships or family. I guess its the trade off for jobs where you get to spend all day traveling the world...


Yeah, definitely didn't want the fun to be over yet Oh well....

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