I am tired of being single..

[la5t13]

Hi all,

 

I talked about a girl in my last topic, well that didn't work out. It is ok though. I currently work at abercrombie and I work with the most attractive girls you can find. Basically, back in high school I would never talk to these girls, but now they are my closest friends and I even shared a bed with two of them last week.

 

I am really starting to come out of my shell but yet I am going to turn 20 this week and I am still a virgin and dateless. I have had one girlfriend but that was a while ago.

 

Sometimes I feel like girls at work are flirting with me but I can't go after them because they either have a boyfriend or the fact that I am going back to school soon. When I do, I am transferring to an abercrombie and fitch closer to my school.

 

My best friend who also works at abercrombie is determined to help me get a date. She said I have to be a big flirt when I go to the new store. She said to talk a lot and make the girls laugh (I do this already), to touch and push them around in a flirty way. I normally do tap a girl or something while I am making her laugh or give her a hug. I don't know how to make it any more flirty then I already am. Any tips?

 

When I go to the new store I want to meet a nice girl or maybe meet one at school and ask her out. I want to be the guy all the girls like. Right now I am the guy all the girls love because I can talk to them like a normal person and not as if I am after them. Girls trust me and I like that, but I want them to want to date me as well.

 

Any tips on what to do? How should I present myself when I go to the new store? Being myself has got me a lot of friends but no dates. I need to be a better more flirty version of myself but I don't know how.

 

I know I am not ugly, I work at anf. I know I can get a nice, smart, attractive girl. I just need to learn how to flirt..

[morgane]

awww why, single is fabulous!

[Iconate]

awww why, single is fabulous!

 

Im sure thats not the answer hes looking for...but,

 

What I do to be flirty is....be an a**hole! I know it sounds weird, but being a pr!ck once and a while gets girls to push you back.

 

Now there is a huge difference of being an a**hole and being mean. Don't insult her, but, start by giving them a different answer to questions they ask.

 

Example;

Girl : OMG Nathan check out my new shoes! Do you like them?!

Me: (enthusiastically) Ya they look great! I had no idea you were joining the circus!

 

I usually look at them and put a smile on my face so they know I am joking, but i usually get a push/shove/punch out of them and the response;

 

" *gasp* You are so mean! " then I follow up by a serious response like

 

" Hahaha, No, they look awesome, where did you get them?" etc...

 

You follow? It works if you do it right, trust me.

 

PS: Almost forgot but note; I wouldn't do it with people you JUST meet, because that might come off as straight up mean. Once you get to know them, start to play that card.

 

GOOD LUCK! (if you try it

[morgane]

that's terrible advice

[bloodelf34]

and yours is better?

[morgane]

and yours is better?

 

and you are?

[Whiskers]

I think the first is risky advice, though I can see where he is coming, it works only if you judge the woman right...

 

However, looking for someone to date at work will work or it won't and it wont be flirting or what not that gets it there, you are already exposed and involved in that situation and any girl is interested you'll notice the signs.

 

Don't be over sympathetic or too much the shoulder to cry on - don't fall into the friend bracket. Plenty of eye contact and secret smiles.

 

Good Luck!

 

XXXX

[morgane]

I think the first is risky advice, though I can see where he is coming, it works only if you judge the woman right...

 

However, looking for someone to date at work will work or it won't and it wont be flirting or what not that gets it there, you are already exposed and involved in that situation and any girl is interested you'll notice the signs.

 

Don't be over sympathetic or too much the shoulder to cry on - don't fall into the friend bracket. Plenty of eye contact and secret smiles.

 

Good Luck!

 

XXXX

 

now THAT! is a good advice, take it!

[alli]

Flirting is a good start but at some point its just beating around the bush & nothing will come of it until someone makes a move. If you flirt with a lot of girls, they will all think that's just the way you are & none of them will see you as a potential boyfriend. Just be friendly to the girls you work with, flirt a little with the select few that you might want to date & when you decide on one, mention a movie that looks really good & if they'd want to catch it with you.

[Carmine]

I currently work at abercrombie and I work with the most attractive girls you can find.

 

Maybe the most attractive, but also the most empty.

 

Ok, I might be a little biased here, so don't take my post all that seriously, but don't be a tool. I'm not saying you are one now...you might be one or you might become one, but most likely you're just a nice shy guy who's trying to position yourself around girls by working at a&f.

 

It seems like you might be trying too hard to get these girls to notice you, especially with your looks. Don't get me wrong, there's no problem with with looking good and it does help, but you've gotta do more.

 

As desirable as it may seem to you to be all the hot abercrombie girls' cute boyfriend who they all want to go out with, I don't think it's worth the manipulation and destruction you cause to your own character. I think the best approach is to get them out of your mind and go into work every day thinking about your own things. Flirt with them when you encounter them but quickly go back to doing your own thing. Girls can tell when you're really focused on them and they'll discover that they can have you if they wanted...that's where you're relying on your looks, and it could work but you're leaving a lot up to the girl. Make yourself a challenge...be a bit mysterious and private. You know that scene in the 40 year old virgin when those girls are looking at Steve Carell through the window and talking about how hot he is? Give girls a chance to do that. Don't always be there flirting with them and making it blatantly obvious that you want them. Let them know that you have better things to do than try to get in with them.

 

Like I said, I'm biased here, but I would consider getting another job where you can still meet cute girls on the side. I work as a waiter and I find it gets really easy to forget about all the hot girls I'm working around. (I'm of course talking about when it's slower...when we're busy no waiter/waitress in their right mind could stop and think about anything else besides getting that fat man's ribeye out before he flips a s**t on you.)

 

I think your best bet is to forget about these girls. They're probably not good girlfriend material anyway. Once you get them out of your mind, though, you'll probably notice that they'll be paying more attention to you. Then it's up to you to decide if you really want them or not.

[zachiphus]

that's terrible advice

 

i disagree... that's actually some good stuff dude.

 

I prefer using the word teasing rather than referrring to yourself as a jerk though, it's a less negative term.... But ya teasing is a great way to build attraction.

[la5t13]

Hi, I agree with what you are saying. Two of my good friends who work with me cheat on their boyfriends but another girl I know is very nice and would never do so.

 

I have a pretty good judgment when it comes to liking certain girls. I can tell which girls are work sleep around and have no internest in staying true to a boy. But who knows? Maybe I will actually meet a nice girl there or maybe a friend of a friend. I have no intention to date a girl who has slept with half the store.

 

My main objective for working there is that I love the music, clothes and everything about it. So the girls are just a plus. I will do my best to flirt with anyone I start to like but I won't be over the top, I am just your normal shy guy but I am trying not to be like that. I don't want random hookups either, which sets me apart from a lot of guys. I just want to find a nice girl and get to know her. I will not go after the hottest girl in the store, actually the two hottest girls in my current store are my good friends. But I know they cheat, I have been there for it. I would never date them.

 

I just hope I meet someone there, at school or through a friend.

 

Edit: Also this other girl I work is a complete nice girl and very pretty. She is in love with this guy she dated and she still thinks they are dating even though he is probably cheating on her. I know if she is a nice and pretty girl there has to be others out there at abercrombie. I am a nice guy so hopefully there is one out there for me. And if not, like I said I will still have a blast working there, and I maybe I will meet someone at school.

 

Only problem with my school is that I pretty much stand out there dressing in abercrombie. Everyone at my school dresses completely different from me and looks different. I go to an art college so you can probably guess what I mean. Hopefully with this new year things will be better.

[Carmine]

My main objective for working there is that I love the music, clothes and everything about it.

 

Ahhh, sorry man. Nothing personal...I don't like insulting people's tastes, BUT HOW THE HELL CAN YOU LIKE THAT STUFF?!?! If I hear that "don't you want me baby, don't you want me ahhhaaa" song one more time I'm going to rip my ears off.

 

Ok, phew, just needed to let out that steam. Feel free to insult any of my musical tastes. Just think the polar opposite to abercrombie music. =p

[Blue Streak]

Alright amigo. You say you are shy right? You are pretty good amigos with some of these ladies right? These are just ladies, who you don't even really care about connecting with, because you understand their * * * * ty nature. You sound like a smart man. Either that or you are too scared to admit truth. Regardless, does not matter.

 

Are you saying there is nobody @ your ACF you are interested in? You gotta go after the girl you want. You sound like you are interested in that last nice pretty girl you mentioned in your edit. Take a chance. Chat her up, be friendly, make jokes and ultimately just be you. Only way you will ever get over your shyness is if you take a chance. Trust me, I am a shy guy, with much going for me, so I know how you feel.

 

Also, understand that where you work does not define your reality. Working @ ACF is one thing, trying to use ACF to your advantage is shallow. You will not get the good girl with that mentality.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Here's some more advice that you likely don't want to hear.

 

I didn't wanna believe this at first, but some guys aren't cut out for girls. It's sad, it's defeatist, but it's TRUE. Life is UNFAIR and that's how nature operates. Even if darwinism isn't true scientifically, it's more than rampant socially. In essense, the STRONG survive and the weak and meek die off.

 

Sure, you can gain social skills, keep trying your hand, and do all sorts of things to try to use to your advantage, yet sometimes IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. That happened to me, thus I've given up finding a significant other for GOOD. I realize that there aren't any women out there that I like that would like me back. It's sad, it's unfair, and it really REALLY hurts sometimes, but that's just how life is. I hear a lot of blind optimists get outraged if someone thinks this, thinking I'm doing a disservice, but reality isn't really pretty. Reality is reality, and even though a healthy bit of delusion is vital to life (i.e. creativity, dreams, etc.), that doesn't give an excuse to try and escape from reality. "Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good".

 

The best advice I've ever heard to combat all this "unfairness" is to simply not take it personally. Accept it; fighting it does no good and is similar to beating a dead horse. We humans are all just vessels experiencing this unfairness and that's one of the philosophies people try their best to hide from; 'cause they're so jet-set on making an illusion like "life" seem so much more epic and important than it really is. Thus, you have all sorts of people trying to sell you on dating advice promising impossibilities and claiming they have all the answers. 'Cause a lot of poor souls ASK them to do it, yet get so SHOCKED once they figure out it doesn't work. I went through it myself, and even though a lot of friends are well intentioned, it gets easier and easier to look through the scam each time.

 

Ok, sorry I got a bit esoteric on this, but the gist is, just be yourself. Even if it doesn't win you any dates, it'll be a helluva lot easier than being fake and everyone else finding out the truth anyway.

[Blue Streak]

I didn't wanna believe this at first, but some guys aren't cut out for girls.

 

The only guys who are not cut out for girls are the guys too lazy to do the work required. Life is not fair. Some guys must work harder than others to get the good job. It is all perception.

[CynicalGuitarist]

The only guys who are not cut out for girls are the guys too lazy to do the work required. Life is not fair. Some guys must work harder than others to get the good job. It is all perception.

 

Must I remind you that there are over 6 billion people in the world? How do YOU know that we don't "try"? You aren't me, never will be me, so you have NO idea what I or anyone else goes through. Wonderful how you pre-judge. That's blind optimism for you.

 

Argh... nevermind. I'm THROUGH with arguing over the internet.

[la5t13]

Hi,

 

I do like the music. Haha. That girl from my edit, she is just a friend. I know sh e is a nice girl and very pretty but we will be too far apart and I just don't like her like that.

 

Maybe I also should have mentioned that I have had many girls after me in the past but none I felt a connection with. When I do feel something I ask her out, I am not shy enough to not do so. I just have to find the right girl and I will make the effort. Whether she is at my new store or at college...I will make the effort if I really like someone