I need some advice on how to ask if he has a g/f

[jaysinsmommy]

ok so there's this guy where i work at and he is cute but that's not what attracted me to him. it's his personality. he is sweet, funny, caring, great to talk to and so laid back...all things that i like in a guy that i could not find in my past relationships. we have a little bit of a friendship going on and i really like that but i'm wanting something more to come out of it. he recently came in one night to talk to me and ended up giving me his number and said that if i ever needed anything to call him. well i was ecstatic that night and ever since then i have been wanting to ask him about his g/f status...does he have one or not. but the problem is that i don't want to mess up what little friendship we have going on. i don't want there to be any awkwardness between us when i see him walking about if he does. he might see me and think "ok there's the crazy woman who asked me out what do i say?" and then say nothing to me and poof! like that our friendship is over. i don't want to loose that cause like i said he is a really great guy. so how do i go about asking if he has one with out 1. looking like an idiot and 2 not having this great guy feel awkward around me? please i really need some advice cause i am going crazy!

[kaoticbaby]

well i don't think that he would give you his number if he DID have a girlfriend. no guy wants that awkward moment when another girl calls his cell while he's with his girl.

 

but i was in a situation like this once also. a guy flirted with me a lot, but never really made a move, so i assumed he had a girlfriend. i ended up seeing them together at the mall, thus confirming it, but not before i thought up a few ways to ask him.

 

i remember thinking that i would just ask him a question about his girlfriend, assuming he had one. something like "oh i just got a text from my guy friend asking me where he should take his girlfriend this weekend but i can't think of anything. where do you go with your girlfriend?"

 

i don't know, maybe that's too obvious. but i'm sure you could think of something better!

[morgane]

um i just always go "wow, your girlfriend must be a lucky woman" or "how long have you been with your girlfriend?" it always does the trick

[Rising]

Eh... from a guy's point of view those examples are still a bit obvious. Any girl who brings up the 'girlfriend' situation gives her interest away... but not because of the question so much as the body language that accompanies it.

 

It's like trying to lie to someone. Your body gives off cues even when you are trying to hide them.

 

I think the smoothest way a guy/girl can bring up the subject is by getting there indirectly. For ex. You bring up a local bar that you may or may not have actually been to recently and talk about how the music was good, or the food was good, but that you weren't too impressed by the 'meat market' quality of the place and how that's not exactly the kind of place you'd want to meet someone. This gives off the impression that you might be looking for someone and are interesting in more than just one night. It also allows them to put out there ideas about that area. The only issue with this is that since its indirect you may not get back a response that tells you what the other person's status is. Sometimes it can make for another less direct lead in though.

 

Another option would be to find a friend (one that you'd trust with knowing you like the guy, a guy or obviously 'taken' female friend would be best) and have them strike up a conversation that you are nowhere near... they could ask directly without any repercussion.