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is it possible to stay 'friends'?


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My ex contacted me three days ago out of the blue and apologized for everything that he did to me, and wants to be able to talk to me again, and that he was worried about me because he had some bad feelings that had to do with me. (Of course there's more, but I'm not going to say it all) He seemed really sincere about what he was saying, so I started talking to him again. I told him the past was the past. He offered to be my friend, but only over email, because we both know that he's bad for me. I've been talking to him over the last three days and everything's been fine for the most part. He promised not to bring up his current relasionship and I promised not to talk about the past. It's weird, I don't really feel 'love' for him anymore...but I do care about him still. Is that normal? Do you think this will all work out?

 

Another question. Since I'm talking to him...should I tell him I forgive him?

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Hi Band Nerd

 

This comes up a lot on here - whether you can remain friends with an ex or not.

 

This is really up to you but you have to ask yourself what you are going to get out of being his friend right now? He says this is to be only via email - sounds duff to me. How many real friends set these boundaries?

 

If you are over him and have no romantic feelings for him then sure, give it a go if you want. But if you are not, and want to use this dubious offer of friendship in an attempt to somehow keep him in your life at any cost then I would say you are better off giving yourself a bit more time and space to clear your head.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

Mark

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Why are there conditions to this friendship? And you said something that was key, "we both know that he's bad for me." Why would you want to be friends with someone who treated you poorly when you were in involved? I can understand being friends if there was no betrayal or lies, but if not ,why accept them in once again?

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