Why are so many girls unwilling to accept that 99% of guys "just want to bang them"?

[Day_Walker]

Well, there we are. You see it as unattainable fantasy and I've lived it. Thank you for making my point.

 

Actually you are misstating my statement, I never claimed it was "unattainable" or a "fantasy" I said that it was overly idealistic and not conducive to an informed perception of reality. I believe that you are stating the except rather than the rule. Congratulations have having lived that but I dont believe that on person's view on what it means to love a woman has any bearing on what love actually is, instead it is what love means to him.

[Daddy Bear]

Actually you are misstating my statement, I never claimed it was "unattainable" or a "fantasy" I said that it was overly idealistic and not conducive to an informed perception of reality. I believe that you are stating the except rather than the rule. Congratulations have having lived that but I dont believe that on person's view on what it means to love a woman has any bearing on what love actually is, instead it is what love means to him.

 

I made no mischaracterization, Day_Walker. You state unambiguously in your previous post that what those lyrics depict is not reality. If you choose to believe that only Adams and I, or even one in a hundred men (as put forth by OP), can understand love that precludes the desire to hump one's opposite-sex friends, that's your prerogative and I won't attempt to disabuse you of the notion. Never mind the fact that hundreds, maybe thousands, of testimonials exist in ENA archives alone regarding the existence of mutually satisfying intergender platonic friendships; 99% of the men who made those posts must be liars, right?

[Day_Walker]

I made no mischaracterization, Day_Walker. You state unambiguously in your previous post that what those lyrics depict is not reality. If you choose to believe that only Adams and I, or even one in a hundred men (as put forth by OP), can understand love that precludes the desire to hump one's opposite-sex friends, that's your prerogative and I won't attempt to disabuse you of the notion. Never mind the fact that hundreds, maybe thousands, of testimonials exist in ENA archives alone regarding the existence of mutually satisfying intergender platonic friendships; 99% of the men who made those posts must be liars, right?

 

Perhaps that you have never found one of your female friends to be attractive and as an extension of that thought, let your passion become the best of you and wanted to have sex with her. I never claimed that this was an over-active desire to have sex with a friend. Instead, it is merely a thought that runs through your mind. As for acting on this thought, that is something completely different. The notion that the men on this forum represent an accurate sampling of men is completely absurd, these men can believe what they want to believe. However I will categorically state that there is no such thing as a completely platonic relationship, as there is always feelings on one side or at least at one time there was. Yes, these men are lying, they refuse to be honest with themselves. I suspect that if each man examines his own thoughts on his female friends he has thought about having sex with her, and perhaps he would have sex with her given the right circumstance.

[chopsueymix]

2625188]So many girls I know refuse to accept that the guys they meet think of them more as potential sexual partners than "friends."

 

One example: My cousin always has tons of guys who want to "hang out," but as soon as she gets a boyfriend, 99% of them vanish, and many never call her again. I explain why: they were not really friends, they just wanted to have sex with her.

 

I will add that a guy can behave like "just a friend" easily, but deep down, most of these "friends" want to have sex with their girl-buddy -- or would at least seriously consider having sex with her assuming that 1) he cannot do "better" and 2) she would be willing.

 

What does everyone think about this, and why are girls so unwilling to accept this as a fact?

 

Note: I admit that this theory starts to break down after the age of 25 for a variety of reasons. 1) Both men and women are more mature about sex and what they "want" 2) More people are married 3) People are less desperate about getting laid (slightly less desperate) 4) women finally start to understand this more

 

 

MY REPLY:

 

 

My experience is different. I have male friends and even after i have a boyfriend theyre still around. Years would pass and ofcourse relationships come and go so a bf would go and after time i would have a new 1 but all my male friends would remain. Theyre like brothers to me. We would hang out and drink and talk and party and theres just a lot of respect for each other. They would have different girlfriends, come and go and we all still remain friends there for each other without that sexual interest. I think it just depends on the person ( people).

[Daddy Bear]

Perhaps that you have never found one of your female friends to be attractive and as an extension of that thought, let your passion become the best of you and wanted to have sex with her.

 

An incorrect guess. Most of my female friends are quite good-looking. I'm just not some cretin who fantasizes about humping every pretty girl walking the earth, much less those who value my friendship and appreciate the fact that I value theirs. My passion, I would add, is not indiscriminate lust.

 

I will categorically state that there is no such thing as a completely platonic relationship, as there is always feelings on one side or at least at one time there was. Yes, these men are lying, they refuse to be honest with themselves. I suspect that if each man examines his own thoughts on his female friends he has thought about having sex with her, and perhaps he would have sex with her given the right circumstance.

 

By inserting such a vague qualifier as "under the right circumstance" into your argument, you're moving the goalposts completely off the field. I will remind you that we're discussing whether or not men "just want to bang" (as per the thread title) their female friends, as simple as that. You might -- I don't -- you will not speak for me, nor will you get away with calling me or anyone here a liar without challenge. I'll thank you to back that accusation up, or else retract it and apologize for your slander.

[Day_Walker]

An incorrect guess. Most of my female friends are quite good-looking. I'm just not some cretin who fantasizes about humping every pretty girl walking the earth, much less those who value my friendship and appreciate the fact that I value theirs. My passion, I would add, is not indiscriminate lust.

 

 

 

By inserting such a vague qualifier as "under the right circumstance" into your argument, you're moving the goalposts completely off the field. I will remind you that we're discussing whether or not men "just want to bang" (as per the thread title) their female friends, as simple as that. You might -- I don't -- you will not speak for me, nor will you get away with calling me or anyone here a liar without challenge. I'll thank you to back that accusation up, or else retract it and apologize for your slander.

 

The problem is that you are taking this personally and as a result of that the issue has been lost and you have resorted to name calling, which is completely inappropriate. If you truly believe that you have never had the desire to have sex with a female friend, then good for you. There is no need to convince me, that you have never had these feeling because I dont believe you in the first place.

 

This is not a court of law and I am not going to prove anything to you because first of all you dont want to believe it and secondly there is no point. If you are looking for a retraction and/or an apology then you are looking in the wrong place. However, in the spirit of academics I will point you to the following authors: Robert L. Moore, Douglas Gillette and Werner Kierski. I will not be communicating any further on this matter as your responses have devolved into unnecessary name calling and you are attempting to turn this matter into a legal proceeding wherein I have the burden of proof.

 

Your claim that I defamed you, is completely inaccurate as slander refers to a transitory statement, typically thought of as being spoken.

[Segan]

I am with Day Walker on this one. First, he was not bad mouthing anyone. He was merely presenting his opinion that men and women who don't admit the importance of the sex instinct are deluding themselves.

 

I am a guy, and I talk to a lot of guys. Like Day Walker, I have come to believe that most men, and in fact many women as well, think about sex a LOT, and cannot escape from the "animal" reality that sex is very important in everything we do.

 

I am not saying that I and my friends and other males have elaborate sex fantasies about everyone woman we meet, but it would be a lie to say that most men don't "check out" women all the time, and most men (at least those who are single), would *consider* the possibility of a sexual relationship when they meet new women.

 

To revise my earlier statement, I am not saying its impossible for men and women to be friends. But I think it is a lie or a self-delusion to say that men don't look at new women they meet as *potential sexual partners*.

 

Maybe you have been friends with a girl for 4 or 10 or 20 years now, so you don't remember what you thought when you first met her, but chances are, it was something like "I would have sex with her".

 

And, furthermore, I contend that in many circumstances.. many men WOULD have sex with their so-called "friends" if given the oppertunity.