You will all be fine...my update: 2.5 years later

[navigator2001]

My gf of 3 years broke up with me 2.5 years ago (I was 23 at the time). I was absolutely crushed, humiliated, lost, and had hit rock bottom. Talk about an emotional and mental break down...I went through hell and it took me a long long time before I came back. I used to come to this site numerous times a day, sometimes looking for a way to win her back, sometimes asking for advice on how to cope, or sometimes it was refreshing to know I wasn't alone.

 

I always thought my story was "different". People would tell me to move on, that I will get through it, and that I will be fine, but I would always convince myself that somehow my story was different from everyone else's. I thought that if only I was able to tell someone every single detail of my relationship and the circumstances of the breakup, that someone would provide me with that one nugget of advice which would bring her back. I would keep posting until I got the response I wanted: That we would end up together.

 

Knowing what I went through then, I will never allow myself to feel like that. In hindsight, it was a great learning experience. I learned a lot about myself, and how I needed to change how I would approach similar situations in the future if they presented themselves. I'm much stronger now, and have put the entire situation behind me.

 

I know to many of you out there on this forum, my words will go in one ear and out the other. You don't care that I'm ok now because you are not and you don't believe that you will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was the same way. It was great to hear about others who had conquered their predicament, but that didn't help me. But I will say it again, you will be fine. It only takes time. And I can say this over and over and over, but you will not realize this until you get to that point yourself. At which point, you will be able to tell others the same, only to realize that they will not (and probably cannot) understand you. We must all travel down this path, and there are no shortcuts. The road seems long, and even though we know people have ridden down it before, even though we can see the footprints of those who have gone before us, that does not change the fact that we still are in the same place and still have miles to go before we reach our destination. But please realize, you will get there.

 

As far as myself and my situation now, I can only thank god that my ex and I broke up. There was this one girl from college, the absolute love of my life, with who things never worked out. I never forgot about her, but did give up on her. Well fast forward 6 years (to last November), and we started dating. I couldn't be happier, and am almost 100% sure that we will end up getting married at some point. I find myself making sacrifices for her that I would have never considered for my ex.

 

I look back on the posts I wrote here 2.5 years ago, and I wish I could go back and tell that kid that things will be better. That he will be 100 times happier in the future than he ever was with his ex. But I can't. In fact, sometimes I think that even given that chance, I wouldn't take it. I learned a lot, and it might be the most priceless lesson I've ever gotten.

 

We live and we learn, and as cliche as that is, its what life is. You will all get through this; you probably don't believe me now, but trust me, one day you will read your old posts and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

 

My journey to the other side is complete and I felt obligated to share my success with the forum that helped get me through my past misery.

[riley123]

Great story!

[Karmageddon]

Thanks for the great words!!

[keenan]

Well done and well said! I second it.

[now_better]

one day you will read your old posts and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

 

too true...

[keenan]

^ cute panda!!

[lisa1126]

Thank you for sharing such encouraging and hopeful experience!!!

[jammer180]

what an amazing post!! thank you for that

[yellowbus]

Thanks for the post. Very well-written!

[istillluvu06]

I remember reading your posts, So glad you found your way and are happy. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Hollyj]

You're so right, time does heal. With every day comes the realization that the relationship was not meant to be and that something much better is in store for the future.

 

Kinda makes you wonder though, why did we have to go through all this drama to begin with????