what is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

[metrogirl]

I wonder if people really understand how their words can cut someone down?

[ImThatGirl]

I wonder if people really understand how their words can cut someone down?

 

I'm sorry to hear what your ex said to you!

 

And Jelina, your friend... That's so terrible and uncalled for.

 

MG - I think that some of them must know and truly want to hurt others. Or maybe they are just flat out ignorant or emotionless.

 

I know that my ex just despised me always. I do still have a problem with feeling accepted - and it started with him. I never had anyone that disliked me or even somewhat indicated that I was so terrible before in my life.

[jettison]

I'm sorry to hear what your ex said to you!

 

And Jelina, your friend... That's so terrible and uncalled for.

 

MG - I think that some of them must know and truly want to hurt others. Or maybe they are just flat out ignorant or emotionless.

 

I know that my ex just despised me always. I do still have a problem with feeling accepted - and it started with him. I never had anyone that disliked me or even somewhat indicated that I was so terrible before in my life.

 

You have to get really, really close to someone and care about them an awful lot before you could develop the aptitude for that kind of hate. When you hate like that, you are really just projecting. Most of our emotions are merely a mirror that we hold out to the world. We think that we're looking at some person, some environment, but we are really just looking at ourselves.

[metrogirl]

I'm sorry to hear what your ex said to you!

 

Well, it certainly opened my eyes to what kind of person he really is. He stooped to a level that I never knew existed.

 

Good riddance.....

[purpleduckie]

Um, meanest thing probably came from my high school "best friend". i don't really remember what she said anymore but it got me really sad. and once in gr 9 some girl told me i was a bee eye tee see h.. and i needed to kill myself. i find it funny now.

[britt92084]

Yeah, it's strange how we carry these things around with us for so long. I've got a few in my "luggage" as well. I can still remember them. It's like a hang nail that won't go away.

 

in 4th grade I overheard a boy say I was the most unattractive female he ever saw in his life.

 

if I see him to this day, I want to just punch him in the face!!!

 

I'm hotter now, but man did that realllllly hurt a 4th grade girl's self asteem for quiet a while

[thejigsup]

I don't know if this was the meanest thing ever said to me, but it had the most effect on me. An old bf (who was a college professor with several degrees) said to me: "You're just as intelligent as I am, it's a pity you never did anything with it." I quickly went back to school and earned two Associates Degrees, one in Natural Sciences (Dean's list), and one in Behavioral Sciences (Magna Cum Laude). I then got accepted to a West Coast Ivy League college and got my B.A. in History (again Honors). I am currently pursuing my Master's in Human Development and a Teaching Credential in Special Education. You see, it's not what someone says to you that is important, it's what you do with it. I am no longer with the gentleman that started all of this. I am with a man with several degrees who obtained them later in life, as I did. We understand each other.

[arwen]

my boyfriend just told me that my sister is way better than me. way smarter, way prettier. he said that he wishes that he was with her instead of me.

 

Ok, say to him that you'd rather be alone than to be with him and dump him. Wow.

 

The meanest thing a boyfriend said to me was that I'd never look as feminine as the waitress who was serving our table at that date. I dumped him a week later over the phone.

 

The meanest thing a friend told me- unintentionally on her part - was asking me if I wouldn't consider having a breast enlargement surgery. Honestly, it hurt even more because it was a serious suggestion.

[Jadewhisper]

I can't remember exactly all the mean things people have said to me. Most of that crap went on in grade school and high school. I tried to ignore it even though it hurt and I felt isolated at times.

 

One of my family members made fun of me being "fat" when I only weighed about 125-130 pounds. Now, I don't really care because I am healthier than I was younger. If somebody were to call me "fat", I'd like to tell them to look in the mirror,heh. Those type of comments don't faze me anymore.

 

Really, the meanest thing that someone did to me wasn't what he said. On the school bus, this loser jerk spit some type of tobacco from his mouth all over my hair. My aunt helped me wash my hair to make sure to get that crap off of it.

[browneyedgirl36]

I wonder if people really understand how their words can cut someone down?

 

I don't know, metrogirl. I've wondered this myself. Sometimes, I think to myself (when I'm feeling optimistic about humankind), "They just don't realize how much they hurt people." But then, I think to myself, "Wait a second. Obviously, they've been cut down before -- we all have -- and they know how badly it feels, so why are they doing it to me?" I really think that, as another poster said, when people make nasty comments, whether really overtly or more subtly, they do it because they feel badly about themselves or something that's going on in their lives, kind of like the schoolyard bully who exerts "power" over those he perceives as weaker because underneath all of his bravado and his toughness, he's weak and scared and has low self-esteem, and he's terrified of letting people know it.

[Snoopy24]

hmm. when I was in 9th grade, a boy in my class starting laughing at me and said I was flatter than the wall. I started crying, my friend in our class punched him, the kid got a black eye, and he was crying, and my friend got expelled.

[duchesstigerlily]

Well, I know I'm a little late to this thread but I think the meanest thing ever said to me was by an ex who was emotionally abusive but who I still stupidly loved. He said that I was "boring, useless and depressed"....all things that I now know werent true then and certainly arent true now. I was bullied in elementary school and had lots of nasty things said to me but for some reason, they all pale in comparison to what my ex said to me.

[journogirl]

my ex (of 3 weeks)said i was the "biggest" of all his girlfriends he has has (i am UK size 10 which is US size 6) so i am slim-i am also tall so am not big at all

-he said he was being honest and thought there was "room for improvement" and could do with toning up

-he would buy me exercise equipment encouraging me to tone up and said i should exercise more etc

-i found this upsetting as he didnt love me for ME and wanted me slimmer-when im not even big!!!!

 

-this issue cropped up alot over our relationship even tho he knew that in the past i used to take laxatives and mess around... he still wanted me to become slimmer and tone up

 

-after getting meningitis and coming out of hospital i found a text on his phone from a friend saying "How is the girlfriend has she lost any weight yet" this devastated me but i stayed with him-i made myself believe he was just being honest

 

this continued on and off throughout our romance-i felt fat after this and would cut labels out my clothes and didnt like him seeing me naked

 

-he also said he liked me more with all my makeup on and would i mind not removing it before bed (when we would fool around) as he was most attracted to me when i was looking my best etc

 

-he would also say he liked my hair straight and not curly even when we were out and there was nothing i could do!

nice guy! x

[allypally]

A guy I used to live with came back drunk from the pub one evening and called me "A pointless little c**t". He had never liked me and was a bully. I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible. In the end he isolated himself from me and my friend because he knew he wasn't going to win.

 

Bear in mind this guy had SERIOUS issues, was violent, he assaulted me that evening and the guy who I'm living with now had to separate us.

[bijoux27]

There are a few which I don't wanna talk about but following up on Clementine_orange's post about being told something mean but using it to change your life, I have one of those instances to share. There was a guy I used to talk to, we became pretty close pretty quickly. He sort of liked me, but when he asked me about it and I said no, our friendship changed. I won't say that I handled it well because I pretty much ignored him after telling him I don't want to talk to him any more...but he kept sending me tonnes of e-mails and I would just reply with 1 or two words, mainly saying "bye" to him. He wrote this:

 

Very well... you go ahead and have it your way.. because i've stopped caring.. never have i said this straight to a girl before.. rarely am i harsh to them.... but this is the first time i truly feel the need... you are a TERRIBLE person, eventually you will take those words to heart, as i did yours.. and i hope it comes back to you 10 fold.. and eventually.. it will.. When you said "don't wanna talk to you" over and over, i should have said "FFFF you too then"...

 

Good riddance.

 

I felt hurt that he said I was a terrible person, because I didn't say anything rude to him outright, I just said we're not going to be friends any more and then eventually stopped talking to him online and all of that. It still kind of hurts to think of that now (that was back in April 2006.). But, it did make me think twice about what I say to other people, and I do think I have become a better person with that experience. I've handled it better when other guys have liked me after him.

 

Oh ya, and he also wrote me this poem about how I'm so evil and all of that....uh...

[blackandgold]

"If I was your dad I'd leave you and become an alcoholic too"

[Puma]

Meanest thing I can recall....my best friend "dumped" me over AIM last September. It didn't start out this way, since what I posted below is just a pasted fraction of the discussion.

 

Her dude, your social skills are wack, it's bothering me, okay? you act awkward, strange, and cold towards my family and some of my friends. i've started noticing it now around ME, of all people.

Me What do you mean?

Me Examples? I've been talkative with your parents whenever we'd go out to dinner!

Me especially towards you? I always try to be laughy and jokey...

Her yeah, after maybe 45 minutes of looking at the floor. you can't open up to me in person whatsoever. you can't be vulnerable at all. above all else, i don't feel comfortable talking to you on a personal level in person, because you always seem so uncomfortable.

Her it's hard for me to believe you care SO DEEPLY for me when you can't show it in person

Her it's just weird to me, i'm sorry

Me This is really weird, cuz I THOUGHT I was doing a damn good job.

Her your voice shakes when you're nervous, do you know that?

 

 

There's tons more to it but there's no point in posting. But damn, my self-esteem suffered for awhile.

[Seraphim]

my boyfriend just told me that my sister is way better than me. way smarter, way prettier. he said that he wishes that he was with her instead of me.

 

It sounds SICK if you ask me. I would have kicked him in the ..... and walked out never to be seen again.

[Catch]

After I told my mother I got into the college I wanted she said "Oh great, now you have to graduate so that you can be better than your sister", who dropped out. I just about died right there on the spot.

 

This guy's off the mark - who says that? Very insensitive. Come to think of it, he would get along with my mother.

[pacodemil]

Probably the time that my mother told me that out of all of her children I was the only one that she wished she never had. That was kind of messed up for a mom to say.

[Mock Chop]

I have similar mean comments from my mother - which is probably why I haven't spoken to her in six months and have no desire to ever resume contact with her. As a little girl, I often heard "You're not the daughter I always wanted", and it just continued into adulthood. No one was allowed to compliment me - if they did, she'd quickly cut me back down to size with some mean remark. Her reasoning behind it? She didn't want me getting 'big headed'. Guys tell me I'm beautiful now and I wait to hear the barb at the end. I can't deal with compliments at all - I assume someone's joking or there'll be a sting in the tail of it! She did so much damage with her words.

 

When I was in my mid teens, one of the most popular guys at school asked me to be his girlfriend. A couple of days later he announced in front of a packed classroom that he'd only asked me out as a dare and I was stupid to assume he'd really want to go out with a dog like me.

 

Nice.

 

20+ years later, it still stings.

[summerpeach]

The meanest thing someone said to me turned out to be the most astute thing and spurred me on to making some serious life changes. I was grateful...eventually

 

same here

Words that hurt can be words that heal

 

(I also live in la belle province

[Elsewhere]

my boyfriend just told me that my sister is way better than me. way smarter, way prettier. he said that he wishes that he was with her instead of me.

 

och god! i guess all i would ever have to say to him was: and i'd rather be with your dad!

[maka56]

Being told "your not that special" after giving my all and everything to someone for 5 months felt like the worst pain in the world