sharpdc Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Firstly, I need to state that I am here because I am looking for advice that is not close to or involved in this situation. So here is the situation: My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and we have a 2 year old son. We are both young as I am 25 and she is 20. We have been living together for the past 2 and a half years and still currently do. I feel like we have had a very good relationship up to this point with some issues mainly revolving around me not wanting to cut my friends out of my life. At times it was excessive and I fully accept blame for this and have since decided that going out with my friends has not been and will never be a top priority to me. For the past 3 months I have not fallen back into the trap of unhealthy friendships and now know that I was holding on to my youth for fear of commitment. Other than this issue and normal relationship bickering, we have had a very loving and close relationship embracing each other as well as learning to be a family. A month ago, my girlfriend told me she still loved me and wanted to be with me, but needed space to be happy alone first so that she could be happy with me. Of course I feared the worst and tried to change her mind, but she insisted that she just needed to be alone and not with anyone in order to resolve her own issues. We both stated that getting with another person was not alright on this break/space. This is when the lying began. She began talking to a friend of one of my best friends through text messages. Initially, I was concerned but she swore up and down that they were just friends. Then she began to go out 3 and 4 nights a week with her friends, which she had voluntarily neglected for the majority of our relationship. I was ok with this because she said she wanted space and I thought this was her way of being happy alone and having balance between family and friends. Throughout the month of space she repeatedly expressed her love for me and the desire to be a family. 3 days ago she told me she wanted to be together and that she knew I was what she was looking for in her life. So I had told her all along that I wanted to be together and we picked up where we left off. Then I noticed that she had put a lock code on her phone and would take her phone everywhere with her without letting it out of her sight. I began to wonder what she was hiding or why she was so anal about keeping her phone on her. I posed the question to her and she acted like it was no big deal and that she wasn't hiding anything. Yesterday, I asked her if anything had happened with any guys during the month we were taking space. She answered no (not very convincingly) so I pressed on feeling like she was not telling the truth. Then she says why does it matter if I hung out with guys and I said it doesn't if it was just as friends. The next thing I know she starts crying and saying that I am going to leave her for good and that she is just going to move out of the apartment. This is when I knew she had done something with a guy. After 30 minutes of avoiding the question, she admitted to have slept with the guy she had been texting all along and that it happened multiple times over a week and a half span. I was in shock and didn't get mad or anything, I just felt numb, but continued to talk to try and understand. She said that she was dumb and thought that we were never going to work. That she never wanted him, but was attracted to the first guy that gave her attention other than me. She stated he had certain qualities that seemed attractive to her, but realizes now that he was nothing to her other than a mistake. Also, she said that she realizes that there is no one that can give her all the things that I do and that it will never happen again. I realize that we were taking a break, but we both agreed not to see other people that is why I posted this here. What should I do? Any advice or observations are more than welcomed. Link to comment
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