Finding it very hard to maintain NC

[RedBranchKnight]

Hey. Im having a very bad patch of time at the moment regards my ex. At this moment Im finding the urge to get in touch with her and check her Bebo page almost irresistible despite the fact I know itll leave me in bits.... All I can think to do to occupy my mind is post here. Its been about a month since I last saw her or spoke to her, break up was very nasty, as far as I know she left me for some other fella she met on holidays.

 

Im actually indifferent about it most of the time, sometimes Iv been angry, but yesterday was the first time that I felt sad and down and missed her, missed her to the point Im dying to get in touch with her. I cant seem to shake this feeling, and I feel to down to even try to do anything else to occupy my mind. Ill try go for a workout and get a haircut or something.

 

We had broken up and got back together twice prior to this, but on both previous occasions we broke up it was cordial and friendly and the 'lines of communication' were still open between us, not anymore though. I really actually miss her, despite all the * * * * e, I miss her so much at the moment.

 

What do you guys do to shake these feelings??

[knightingale]

Don't. Break. NC.

 

It will take you back a thousands steps. Trust me. I've tried to go NC, but I live in a small town where it is close to impossible not to run into my ex. We don't contact each other in any other degree, but every time I see him out, any wounds that were healing open back up. If you are able to avoid having any contact with her, do it. You will be better for it in the end.

 

You have got to do whatever if takes to not contact her. The one month mark is a rough patch to hit, two weeks was torture for me. If you ever feel that urge to contact her, all I can tell you to do is start doing something else--write down what you'd say to her and burn it, do the dishes, turn on the TV or put in a movie, go for a run, call a friend. WHATEVER IT TAKES!

 

If I could leave the house without risking seeing him, I'd do all of the above too. If you're lucky enough to not have that risk, embrace it.

[MorbidMetalHead87]

It's always hard at first. But once you find people, hobbies and goals to get keep you occupied in order to keep your mind off her. You will start to think less and less about her. And in time you will feel better.

[kuhl282000]

These are the stages you'll go through .......

 

sadness, anger, denial, fear, depression and guilt .....

 

And they all hurt ......

 

Contact her at your own risk ........

 

Sometimes it works out sometimes it shredded to little pieces.

 

I would love to talk to mine and work things out but she is some place else now I'm sorry to say ......its tough everyday ...I think about her everyday.

 

If yours is with another guy .....I think you're wasting your time.........shes out dancing and you're in here crying with me .....we need to be out dancing tonight

 

And I think I'm going ........to bad its not with her ....you know the feeling

 

May we both find some peace real soon ....

[journogirl]

hey

hope you are ok

firstly remove her as a friend from bebo,facebook,myspace whatever

 

it will make it so so much harder for u

i did this as soon as it happened-u have to protect yourself and look after yourself

 

if you had a scab would u keep picking at it and making the wound more painful...no thought not! so keep with the NC -dont bruise your poorly heart even further

 

big hugs xxx

[RedBranchKnight]

Thanks for the replies everyone, really appreciate it.

 

things have been so lousy the last couple of days. I miss her so much at the moment. I just feel alone and sad, really hate this. Thing thats annoying me the most though is that even after her cheating on me and everything, if she came back to me Id still take her back.... which makes me feel so ashamed of myself.

 

Nothing can seem to get me out of this rut Im in. I feel bored, alone, down and just miss talking to her and texting her. Its stupid, but I honestly feel like Im never gonna meet another girl now, like this was my one shot or somethin. I know thats ridiculous, but its just how my mind is thinking at the moment.

 

Guess this is all normal though......

[knightingale]

It is normal. It feels excruciatingly abnormal, because you feel like you are losing your mind, but it is normal.

 

I am going through the same thing right now. I miss him despite everything. He didn't cheat on me, but he told me after we broke up he didn't want to see anyone else because he needed to straighten our his life and wanted to keep me close, and sure enough he started to see someone shortly thereafter. Not to mention he lied about it when I asked about her--I found out by seeing them in public together. Since then he's told me he still loves me (this was three weeks ago) but has continued to see her. I had to block him on everything. I am currently, as in right this minute, fighting the urge to friend him again and make a peace offering just so I can be his friend and have him in my life again. I've been really down again lately over the whole thing, most likely due to having seen him three times in the last week.

 

I probably will wind up contacting him soon, simply because having mutual friends and running into each other constantly, pretending everything is okay, is becoming a nuisance. It might be a bad move, but I guess there is only way to find out. But like I said, in your case, if you are able to avoid her, please do.

 

And we WILL find someone again. I know it's hard to see that right now, but it will happen. Take the time to grieve. Don't skip any of the stages. It's okay to feel all of them, sometimes several times over. I'm obviously in the bargaining and depression stages again . . .