Stood Up on Internet Dates - This Common?

[RedWingsFan]

Girl 1: We both sent a few e-mails back and forth. There was genuine interest on both sides. She gave her number, I called, and we set up a date. 30 minutes prior to the date I receive a text saying she had a meeting to attend at work and that she was "sorry" and "would be in touch!" I didn't hear anything back from her at all.

 

Girl 2: E-mails back and forth, eventually leading to numbers being exchanged. I had a weekend trip and said I'd call early in the following week. Reached her voice mail, mentioned for her to call me back....3 days has gone by with no call back. Huh?

 

I'm hesitant to contact girl # 2, even if by e-mail or text. No need for me to appear needy. I just wish I'd get some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

 

Men...is this common (I am using Match)? And thanks for reading my rant.

[Clementine orange]

Just a run of bad luck buddy. Internet dates....they are even more "iffy" than traditional ones.

Keep trying.

[RedWingsFan]

I guess I don't understand why someone would waste that much time setting something up, and then not following through.

 

Have any of you done this before on a dating site?

[Belgian girl]

statistic it won't be such a high number of 'failures', I guess b/c only few tries but maybe try not to show you're putting much hope/pressure on it (don't expect you do but in case..) and maybe not to plan it much in advantage (to me it would look perhaps bit as an obligation and that I would feel like wanting someone else to do

[JadedStar]

I would bet the number is much higher for men getting stood up then women. I think a lot of women get scared or cold feet and back out. I wouldn't take it as real rejection since you never met them before. They just got cold feet for whatever reason.

 

I do think this happens more with women. Men are more apt to keep the date.

[Belgian girl]

I would just try again and probably it's a regret for them they missed meeting you and yeah.. respect.. not everyone takes care of 'etiquette' (acceptable values) as much as others (their problem ) (glad you find out even before meeting, LOL)

[Batya33]

To me canceling last minute isn't being stood up - stood up is showing up, he doesn't show up and no message left or email as to why. It happened to me a few times, once twice with the same person, a few months apart - I was pretty sure with that person that he was married/had a girlfriend.

[ghost69]

maybe they met someone else.

[JadedStar]

I would consider the first meet from an internet site being stood up only if an actual date and time was established, and i went there and they didn't show.

 

I would not consider it being stood up if i get a call or email ahead of time with them canceling. That is not the definition of stood up no matter if the date came from a dating site or a face to face meeting.

 

I do consider it being stood up, however, if i were to go to the place and wait for them and they don't show up. Internet dating site or not that is pretty poor etiquette and is still being stood up. You don't even have to call this meet up a "date" for it to constiute being stood up.

[Luke Skywalker]

I I would not consider it being stood up if i get a call or email ahead of time with them canceling. That is not the definition of stood up no matter if the date came from a dating site or a face to face meeting.

 

Yeah, but a last minute cancellation seems to have the same effect because sometimes schedules are changed to accomidate that date, and it seems like a hypocritical 'stood up' unless a good reason is offered with an apology and she offers another date or to follow up to set another one up soon.

[Luke Skywalker]

In answer to the OP, as bad as my experiences may be on the internet or online dating, I have never been stood up on an actual date from a first meeting on the internet and think this is a run of bad luck. I usually ask for the person's cell number and will tell her to inform me within 2 hours prior to the date if she is cancelling so I wont be upsetting any schedules and usually people are courteous enough where either a date won't be set up or they will cancel where it wont affect any schedule, and I will do the same for her, and things usually just work out properly that way.

[JadedStar]

Yeah, but a last minute cancellation seems to have the same effect because sometimes schedules are changed to accomidate that date, and it seems like a hypocritical 'stood up' unless a good reason is offered with an apology and she offers another date or to follow up to set another one up soon.

 

If it is a first meet from a dating site i dont see it as being stood up because I am realistic enough to know that the person is actively seeking dating partners and if i get a last minute cancel that means they decided they really were not all that interested or someone better came along. At that early stage they really don't owe me much explanation. Most people who use those sites do it beause their schedules are crazy busy and it is the best way to meet people. That type of person does not have the luxury of wasting time so if they realize the meet up is not a good idea they cancel so as to use that time more wisely. I honestly could see myself doing that because I don't like to do courtesy interviews with candidates at work so I don't want to do 'courtesy dates" for people I would meet if i realize they won't work out for whatever reason. It wastes the time of EVERYONE involved and gives the person on the other end potential false hope.

 

if a friend of mine canceled last minute i'd be more upset as they are someone i know and who shouldn't be rude to me by upsetting my schedule that way...unless they have good reason of course.