Has she lost interest? What the hell is going on?

[momo1212]

Alright, so from the top:

 

There's this girl i've been/was dating for the past month named Sarah. I met her through her sister since me and her sister work together. Sarah is 17, i'm 21 going on 22.

 

Now, it was Sarah who was interested in me, first. A couple of months ago, her sister told me that she thought i was hot and wanted to date me. At that point, i wasn't totally interested since i was still hung up on someone else, but i kept an open mind. So then finally i decide to pursue it with her, and her sister gives me Sarah's number.

 

I call Sarah (This was actually the first time her and i formally talked) and ask her out for coffee. We end up going for coffee a few days later. Let me tell you, WE HIT IT OFF like there was no tomorrow. I'm talking instant chemistry. I felt like i knew her for years. I never had that much fun with a girl ever. She's actually quite mature for a girl her age and extremely intelligent. We actually ended up getting kicked out of Starbucks because we were there THAT long till closing time.

 

So then we go out for sushi a few days later and things are even better. We kissed and what not and made out for what seemed like ages. Things were going good.

 

So then i go on vacation after that date and we don't talk for almost a week. I texted her the day after our second date (making a joke about a hickey i gave her the day before she had a job interview) and that was that. So then i get back and still don't hear from her. I'm sitting at home one night writing a paper and i hear my text noitification sound. She texted me saying "Ahhummmm.....". I tell her that i just got back from Maine and planned on calling her tomorrow.

 

I then ask if she's free either Saturday or Friday. She says she's partying Saturday and Friday, but might just "stop by" at the Friday party. I say don't worry about it, we'll do something next week. So then we have a back and forth flirty witty text convo and we end off good.

 

So on Friday, i get a text from her at 6: 30 pm saying "I've decided not to party tonight, wann chill?". Now, i'm an EMT and i had agreed to do the overngiht for that night, which left us with only 2 - 3 hours to hang out, if that. So we talk on the phone and she says she'd like to take me to party for a half an hour and then we'll just grab dinner somewhere. Now, let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT a party person. I'll go, but i prefer not to. Let alone the fact that she was asking me to go to a high school party, which is just awkward. I also couldn't drink because i had ot pull duty ina few hours, anuway.So i guess i got a tad cranky and we ended up not hanging out that night.

 

I call her a couple days later asking if she'd like to see the Dark Knight. She says alright, then says that i should gone to the party and she was thinking the whole time that i would've had so much fun. I then kind of apologize for being snippy if i was and she says "Yeah, you were, i thought you were like pissed off at me or something."

 

So we end up okay and go out on the 3rd date. Everything seemed to go pretty well and we made out again and what not. And that was pretty much it. So i tell her i'll call her.

 

We go about 4 days without talking. I call her on Tuesday twice and she doesn't pick up. I then texted her last night and i still haven't gotten a response.

 

I've talked to her sister in the past, and based on what i've told her about how she acts on our dates, she says "Sarah soooooo likes you, etc"

 

Her sister also says that she's never had a formal boyfriend or been in a relationship. She's been with guys, but just in a few "flings".

 

I guess it's possible that i could've weirded Sarah out as well. She did make a few comments about me being weird. I'm a pretty strange dude and have a very black/odd sense of humor. Perhaps this rubbed Sarah the wrong way?

 

What i don't get though is Sarah strikes me as one of those brutally honest types. If she didn't want to date me anymore, i would imagine she'd tell me outright, but i guess not.

 

The final part of this whole story which is really strange is a status message she left on face book last night "heart is breaking, mind is crumbling, and generally falling apart at 17"

 

Was that in reference to me? I'm confused.

 

I know i've only been on 3 dates with her, but this does NOT sound like the Sarah i know. The Sarah i know is pretty unemotional and tough.

 

So what the hell is going on? Does she not like the fact that i don't party? Did i weird her out?

[purpleduckie]

Why did you go (4) days without calling her? if i were her, i'd think you were just playing around with ME.

 

 

when you went on vacation, did you tell her that you'd be gone and how long you'd be for? how come you didn't at least text her when you were out and about?

[momo1212]

Why did you go (4) days without calling her? if i were her, i'd think you were just playing around with ME.

 

 

when you went on vacation, did you tell her that you'd be gone and how long you'd be for? how come you didn't at least text her when you were out and about?

 

Well, to be honest, i'm pretty new to the formal dating scene. I was just trying to give her her space. I need my space as well. I don't want to come off as clingy or needy.

 

Yeah, i told her i'd be gone for 4 - 5 days. I texted her the day i was heading to Main after our second date (the joke about the hickey).

[May_It_Be]

Typical behavior for a seventeen-year-old. All drama and inconsistency. She may seem mature for her age, but her chemical make-up when it comes to emotions still has a way to go. Either accept that as par for the course in dating a teenager, or move on. Don't over-analyze. It's quite simple.

[momo1212]

Typical behavior for a seventeen-year-old. All drama and inconsistency. She may seem mature for her age, but her chemical make-up when it comes to emotions still has a way to go. Either accept that as par for the course in dating a teenager, or move on. Don't over-analyze. It's quite simple.

 

I see. So is it over? Think i'll eve rhear from her again?

[May_It_Be]

I see. So is it over? Think i'll eve rhear from her again?

 

LOL, well, she might invite you to prom.

[momo1212]

LOL, well, she might invite you to prom.

 

 

I mean has she lost interest?

[May_It_Be]

I mean has she lost interest?

 

Like I said before, it sounds like she's more interested in the drama of dating an "older man". She's young, she's inexperienced, she doesn't know what relationships are all about. How could she? She's never been in one before.

 

So, unless you want to continue playing this high school game, I'd move on and find someone your own age.

 

Or do you simply enjoy being the "older man"?

[girl68]

LOL keep in mind she's 17... "drama, drama, drama..."

 

Well there's nothing you can do. You will have to sit around and wait for her to call or text. You can't push it and if she likes you like her sister says she does, she will call I promise. Now if she doesn't call it's because she isn't all that into you and the sparks you had at starbucks was one sided. We girls can talk for hours... now sometimes it means something and sometimes it doesn't. So for you, all you can do it wait around- not literally, go out get on with life and hope she calls but she simply just may not.

 

As for facebook we al write status updates that grab attention- she's most likely doing just that. She KNOWS you'll see (unless you're facecreeping) and it may or may not be about you. Either way I don't think you'll ever know if it is about you but all you can do now is nothing. Hopefully she's not an idiot and realizes what you believe to be real sparks but... she's super young and is probably playing the: "I can make an older hot guy like me. See?" game.

[girl68]

By the way: 4 days without calling is too long, IMO especially since you've already been on 3 dates...

[momo1212]

Like I said before, it sounds like she's more interested in the drama of dating an "older man". She's young, she's inexperienced, she doesn't know what relationships are all about. How could she? She's never been in one before.

 

So, unless you want to continue playing this high school game, I'd move on and find someone your own age.

 

Or do you simply enjoy being the "older man"?

 

No, it has nothing to do with being an "older man". This whole thing just sort of fell in my lap. I have a difficult time as it is meeting girls since i'm not very outgoing. Trust me, BELIEVE ME, i had my reservations about the age gap before i even got into this, but i decided to give it a shot anyway. She's attractive, an honors student, and just a fun person to be with. Whenever we talk, we're so on the same wavelength it's scary. She's easy to talk to.

 

About dating girls my age, i'd like to, but it's mostly girls who are like 6 years older than me or 4 years younger than me who are attracted to me. For some reason, i just don't seem to do it for girls in my age range or have yet to. I'm not into the whole "college party/bar/club" scene.

[May_It_Be]

she's super young and is probably playing the: "I can make an older hot guy like me. See?" game.

 

Yep ... it's a sweet little teenage ego-boost thing. Sorry.

[May_It_Be]

Sounds like this is more about your lack of confidence with women ... ??? Is it just easier to date a developing teen who makes you feel studly? No offense intended, of course, just curious.

[momo1212]

Sounds like this is more about your lack of confidence with women ... ??? Is it just easier to date a developing teen who makes you feel studly? No offense intended, of course, just curious.

 

True, i do have some confidence issues. I was very obsese growing up and lost a ton of weight but still see myself as fat despite the fact that i'm apparently not according to everyone else.

 

Her age has nothing to do with it. Don't quite understand why you're so stuck on that. Things aren't always that simple. Not all guys are manipulative and controlling. Like i said before, i had reservations about this. Dating her has most DEFINITELY not made me feel "studly". If anything, it's made me confused. She's extremely attractive and i always felt she could do much better than me in terms of looks. If she was 19 or 20, i would still be feeling this.

[riley123]

Personally, I don't think 4 days is too long to go without call if you are simply dating -- it's another story if you're in a relationship, but your not -- so I don't think that had anything to do with it.

 

I would chalk this up to her being a little immature. If you like her and can deal with her "17 year old" nonsense then keep dating her, but maybe you should think about finding someone else.

 

How old is her sister?

[momo1212]

By the way: 4 days without calling is too long, IMO especially since you've already been on 3 dates...

 

Duly noted.

[momo1212]

Personally, I don't think 4 days is too long to go without call if you are simply dating -- it's another story if you're in a relationship, but your not -- so I don't think that had anything to do with it.

 

I would chalk this up to her being a little immature. If you like her and can deal with her "17 year old" nonsense then keep dating her, but maybe you should think about finding someone else.

 

How old is her sister?

 

18, but i'd never date her sister. She's even more immature and stuck up.

[bijoux27]

Sounds like the typical teenage confusion....I had no idea how to act with a boyfriend either. So I was just casual with people. i hurt a lot of guys that way, but didn't mean to. I just literally did not understand. Now that I look back at it, highschool girls are pretty stupid.

Mind you I was also the type who could click with someone so well on our first meeting, I also seemed very mature, and different.

 

"heart is breaking, mind is crumbling, and generally falling apart at 17"

 

I'm guessing it doesn't have much to do with you. Might I suggest that it could be about an ex of her's, or some experience that hurt her, and you may be one of the newest guys she's dated since? Just seems like it's something going on just in her life.

[girl68]

Hey,

 

So I don't think it's anything to do with you being the older guy or whatever. It's HER age.... she's just so young! Never been in a relationship- you've been "warned" from her sister all she's ever had were flings... You could be just that to her.

 

This is what COULD have happened for her. The game goes like this: she likes attention, especially from boys... older, hot boy (as she thinks...) even MORE so... So you call her, you go on a few dates... kiss, laugh, all that flirty good stuff, awesome she "sorta" falls for you... and you do too. She likes the attention you're giving her, and the fun you guys have... so she asks you out and you do to. Then you guys don't talk for a few days, things fizzle between you two and she starts to think: okay, I'm done with him now- it was fun while it lasted but now, I'm done. So you call her one last time, no answer- so you text her, give her one last chance to respond if she wants to... so far she hasn't.

 

So perhaps she was just having her fun with you, but doesn't want to take it all the way (as in get into a full on relationship). So perhaps give her sister a ring, maybe she has some insight, don't expect her to out her sister and bad mouth her if she was just playing games, but she may be able to shine a little light on the situation. Leave it to ther girl to call you back or not but perhaps YES, she has lost interest... if she was playing that game... I've played that game before- when I was young. So take it as that.

 

No offense to you AT ALL. It really has nothing to do with you! You seem great. Frankly, she just has to grow up. And she either may, or may not it will depend on does she call, or not call. Easy as that.

[May_It_Be]

Sounds like the typical teenage confusion....I had no idea how to act with a boyfriend either. So I was just casual with people. i hurt a lot of guys that way, but didn't mean to. I just literally did not understand. Now that I look back at it, highschool girls are pretty stupid.

Mind you I was also the type who could click with someone so well on our first meeting, I also seemed very mature, and different.

 

 

Exactly. I was the same way. The only reason why I'm focusing on her age is because I think that's the issue here. She's behaving this way because she's so young and inexperienced. She's playing high school games because, well, she's still in high school.

 

Don't read into her actions beyond that. There's nothing else to read. You could be her knight in shining armor, her be-all end-all of male perfection, and this would STILL be the issue, here. Age. Immaturity. Drama. Nothing more, nothing less.

[momo1212]

Thanks. Yeah, there was another thing i left out. Her sister did tell me to be "forward" with her. Didn't quite understand what she meant by that. Well, live and learn.

[bijoux27]

Her sister did tell me to be "forward" with her.

 

Maybe she's not so intelligent? Lol

[momo1212]

Maybe she's not so intelligent? Lol

 

Heh, i doubt that. I suppose she could've been referring to be more direct about my feelings and texting often, etc. I dunno. Whatever.

[girl68]

forward probably meant more aggessive... that's what I'd take from that. Seriously she was just playing games, she like the rest of the girls here played the same game but we also live and let learn and grew up she will too.

[momo1212]

forward probably meant more aggessive... that's what I'd take from that. Seriously she was just playing games, she like the rest of the girls here played the same game but we also live and let learn and grew up she will too.

 

Yeah, you're right. It's just hard for me to understand. I can't seem to accept that she's just an immature teenage girl when she seemed so differrent and mature.... even moreso than most girls my age.