mr me Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Ive been thru my personal hell for about 2 years now and before that my childhood wasnt something to be proud about. Ive always wanted to live a different life and i havent been able to do that. I thought i would have that with my ex but that turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. Im now tryin to work thru all of this crazy stuff and try to live a pretty decent life. I just dont know how im going to do that having to deal with people that just seem to do things and it seems to mean nothing to them. Im 23 and im almost too mature from my age from having to grow up fast. Its just ive never had people around me that i feel like represent the good side of me. Ive come from a horrible family background with alcoholism, abuse, suicide, and personal demons that i thought would make me go crazy. I just want a pretty laid back life and something i can enjoy. I seem to have high standards so sometimes its hard but im really the type of person that will work for it. Its just i dont know how ill really get it. I guess on top of all of that my ex tried contacting me today and its kinda bothering me because its like i am fighting myself not to talk to her. I finally feel like for the most part i have gotten over what shes done to me but some stuff is still too painful. I feel like the stuff i want in my life is out there i just dont know how much of it will happen to me. Im just so tired of people around me not being happy and i dont want to be stuck in this mess. People with jobs they dont like and the weird issues you develop because of that. Its like everything is just so down and it changes people and i dont want to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. I just dont really feel like i can deal with it. I dont know how people can because it drives me crazy. I dont know i feel like im just firing a shot into the middle of nowhere. I really just dont feel like anything is stopping me anymore. I just hope that i can deal with whatever im going thru because ive had things be so bad that its like i couldnt do anything. I see that for myself im still working on things but im working on them so i know thats what i need to keep doing. Link to comment
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