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Just tired of dealing with the same old nonsense


mr me

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Ive been thru my personal hell for about 2 years now and before that my childhood wasnt something to be proud about. Ive always wanted to live a different life and i havent been able to do that. I thought i would have that with my ex but that turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. Im now tryin to work thru all of this crazy stuff and try to live a pretty decent life. I just dont know how im going to do that having to deal with people that just seem to do things and it seems to mean nothing to them. Im 23 and im almost too mature from my age from having to grow up fast. Its just ive never had people around me that i feel like represent the good side of me. Ive come from a horrible family background with alcoholism, abuse, suicide, and personal demons that i thought would make me go crazy. I just want a pretty laid back life and something i can enjoy.

 

I seem to have high standards so sometimes its hard but im really the type of person that will work for it. Its just i dont know how ill really get it. I guess on top of all of that my ex tried contacting me today and its kinda bothering me because its like i am fighting myself not to talk to her. I finally feel like for the most part i have gotten over what shes done to me but some stuff is still too painful. I feel like the stuff i want in my life is out there i just dont know how much of it will happen to me. Im just so tired of people around me not being happy and i dont want to be stuck in this mess. People with jobs they dont like and the weird issues you develop because of that. Its like everything is just so down and it changes people and i dont want to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. I just dont really feel like i can deal with it. I dont know how people can because it drives me crazy. I dont know i feel like im just firing a shot into the middle of nowhere. I really just dont feel like anything is stopping me anymore. I just hope that i can deal with whatever im going thru because ive had things be so bad that its like i couldnt do anything.

 

I see that for myself im still working on things but im working on them so i know thats what i need to keep doing.

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Well, they say, if you're going through hell, keep going.

 

In relation to your ex-girlfriend, if you really want to speak to her, then do it. So what about 'past hurts'? They are not your present. They are just ideas that you can leave behind.

 

If you really want to get away from the nonsense (and believe me, i can relate), just move on. Physically, if you have to. If you want to make changes, then what's stopping you? Make a decision and stick to it.

 

I think the problem is when we're stuck, we get depressed, and when we're depressed, we become immobilised, unable to move.

 

You need to intervene (make a big change) somewhere in your own life.

 

(I'm tired, can't write anymore, but you get the drift.). Take action, seize the day, be the change that you want to make, act now.

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I think what you said is true but for whatever reason i have tried to do those things and it didnt work out. Some of the things didnt work out and actually made me more depressed because of just how bad it didnt work out. I also cant talk to my ex because she makes me go crazy. She can say something like she still thinks about me and whatever else but then just push me away or say she doesnt want to be with me. So its like too much to deal with and i wish i could say not worth it but i dont feel like that. I just know it wasnt meant to be and shes also done some stuff to me that i could never really forgive her for. Its just that im still stuck on her because she was the best girl ive ever seen or had in my life. So its just way too complicated and i dont even know what to really do next.

 

I dont know im trying to work thru this but i keep on having alot of set-backs and i basically just deal with everything on my own so its definitely taking its toll.

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