renaissancewoman101 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 For the past few months, I've been pushing myself to go out, do things, get involved in hobbies, etc. And I have. I'm taking a pottery class (which I truly do enjoy). I have gotten involved in SCA things and actually have started to meet people. But when people really seem like they want to include me in things or do things with me, I pull away or I feel like running back into my little "hole" to hide out. I'm not sure if I am really a social person or not. Like tonight, there was a baronial household meeting for newcomers. They have that once every month and you learn about different topics concerning the SCA. This is the second meeting I've been to. There was quite a few people there, and if you want, you can ask questions. So, I asked a question about costuming. Got some good feedback, and after the meeting ended, a girl came up to me and asked me about my Ren Faire experience and about costuming and we talked a bit about it. I told her that I didn't know how to sew, and she offered to show me with a sewing machine and basically told me that if I was interested to learn, I could come hang out with her and her friend I was a bit taken aback. She is really nice and I found her easy to talk to, and it would be fun to learn how to sew, but my first reaction (internally) was "uh, not sure, not sure if I really want to meet new people, hang out, etc". Just getting myself to go out and do more things has not been easy. I tend to like my own, old routines, where I spend most of my time alone, etc. But, that's no way to make friends and get to know people. So I push myself to go out there. I do have her email and I probably will email her. I am curious about learning how to make my own simple costume. I am also probably going to go to "War" this Labor Day weekend. I talked to some people and they said the best way to start is "newcomers camp. Going to "war" involves camping out for three days at an encampment (I went and checked out "war" when they had it during Memorial Day weekend - it was really cool). People have said the best way to meet people is to volunteer a few hours for it (to help out). I dunno. I really want to go to this thing because it is a way to socialize, but then part of me is also wanting to go back to my old ways and just do something "safe" which would entail going to Las Vegas with my mom for three days. She has told me she would be up for that, and she'd pay for it. Going with my mom would be a semi-relaxing weekend, and I would get a lot of "alone" time since my mom likes to play slots by herself, and I'd just go and wander around. I am pushing myself out of my normal bounds, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about it or not. I tend to like my routines. And sometimes I get afraid to meet/interact with people and my first instinct is to run and hide and be by myself. I have a hard time pushing myself to go out and do things. Is what I am feeling, weird? Part of why I am also doing this, is I do want to find a bf again soon. I miss having someone to share my life with. Link to comment
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