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Does he feel sorry for me?


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My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me 12 days ago because we were unhappy because we were always fighting. Although I initiated the break up, I never went through with it, instead he did. It was a horrible break up, emotional, crying etc. By the end of it, I had to kick him out of my apartment.


2 days later he sends me a msg saying he had a rough weekend and said there were a couple of things he wanted to say but didnt know how, i wrote back saying if he wanted to talk face to face, then I could sit down. He offered to take me to dinner. Between those messages and dinner (2 days) he offered to share with me his lunch and was texting me confirming that i would not yell at him and leave at this dinner


During dinner, he says that he doesnt know if he wants to get back together, that he needs time, that he misses me, and being with me makes him want to get back together. but he wants to wake up the next day and know he wants to get back, but he said he wants to see me on sunday (in 3 days)...

the day after the dinner (friday), i confirm that we are seeing each other on sunday with playful flirting and he said yes.


sunday morning comes, he went to a wedding, spoke to a friend and calls me and says that he wants to see me, but is confused. He says he likes me, he says he wants to get back but he cant commit right now. and that we should not hang out because he will get more confused.

I asked him what is holding him back from committing he says that when he thinks of the negative times (fighting, not talking to each other) he panics.

I asked him what is holding him back from saying lets go our separate ways, he says he cares for me soo much, he has feelings, and if he says that we wont speak to each other and he wants to be able to say hi to me. I,m obviously was crying..

I initiated to hang up...


We both work together, tuesday (yesterday) he sends me a message saying he had an extra 3 dollars from his dinner allowance (we get dinner allowances at work) and that he got me a red bull ( i drink red bull) yesterday. He says hes been thinking about it for a full day to tell me.

I respond with a simple THANK YOU (redbull still remains in fridge at work).

Today, he says that he is going to get some food and that he will have extra if I want some.

I said "if theres any left overs, youre welcomed to drop it off at my desk" which he does, and i say thank you.

then i send him a message saying thank you, they were good.

he says "anytime.."


Im confused. It hasnt been 2 weeks yet and all this confusion..

my question is, we dont talk to each other all day, but at dinner time, he sends me messages.

Im asking myself, does he just do this because he feels sorry that he dumped me and I was crying? Is this his way of saying " i never meant to hurt you" because while I could see it happening, why would someone be doing that in a short span of time?


please help!

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Hi! It sounds to me like he is really confused about what has happened between you too! I don't think he's just being kind because you were crying. He said there was some negative things that happened that are causing him from being with you...give him more time to miss you. We are all human and deserve to be forgiven...remember that!


As far as the initiation of contact at work, my response would be that you don't think you should be talking right now. Take a stand...tell him that you're sorry about what happened in the past, but that he has to get over it if he really cares. In the meantime, just stay away and don't bother with him. See what happens...it's obvious he really misses you!

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hi bella

thanks for the reply-- hes a goofy guy, personable, and works with alot of females. He gets along with all and gives them attention, but its only at work.


I obviously still like him (thus the contact), even if it was only 4 months-- we did alot, i ve met his family, friends, and went away together to his home country. I just dont understand the up and down changing of minds. we have a great time together when its me and him, but things fell apart when we both failed to properly adress his behavior with other girls-- i thought it was flirting and wanted respect, he thought he was being himself and playful. we fought alot about it, and most of the time, i would give him the silent treatment and he said there were times when he felt awkward about his behavior and he never does that..


just dont know if hes just being friendly to me, i want to think its his way of trying to get back together, but ive been disappointed already (ie dumped) dont want to again...



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ha ha! That's the funny thing about actors, musicians, etc...they are VERY personable people and very likeable as well! They get along with everyone and it could come accross as more.


He seems to have some issues he needs to deal with - insecurities, etc. People in his line of work are very emotional which tends to be the reason there is so much drugs and alcohol in that line of work. I would think he just needs some time...it seems as if he does these things when he is insecure and going through a hard time. It's hard to find work that you truly love in that market and it makes one question a lot.


Just give him his time, but figure out if this is something you want to deal with on a continual basis.

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