What does he mean?! I'm so effin confused!!

[Delusional Kisses]

Long story made short. I met him two years ago. We started off as sex buddies and became best friends. I've been madly in love with him for well over a year now. He is well aware of my feelings. Through all of this time, he says that he "can't be with me right now" or "give him some time. He's not ready for anything that serious" "He loves me but...", blah, blah, blah. I'm not a stupid girl, so I KNOW! Anyway, last summer he started dating someone and we stayed friends...and became even closer. When they broke up, we were inseperable. We did have sex on several occasions. I never pushed for anything more than that. He even mentioned marriage a few times, but I was so scared of being rejected again that I just wrote it all off. He moved back home in March which is 600 miles from me. I went to see him (per his request) just two weeks after he left and go to meet his family and friends. It went wonderfully. I came back home. We spoke daily, etc. In early June, I planned my second trip there. I was going to talk to him. Tell him I wanted us to be together. I would move, change jobs...whatever. The week before my trip, he called to tell me he had started seeing someone. I was devestated. I told him I wouldn't come. H begged and I told him what my plans had been. He listened and when I asked if that would have been a possibility, his exact response was "I don't know. I won't say never. But now? No. I'm sorry". He begged me to come anyway and I did. It was miserable. When I left, I told him bye...that was it...I wanted no more of what we had. I couldn't take it anymore. Seven days passed and he texted me randomly and casually and we have had several random and casual conversations since. A few weeks passed like this and on Sunday, I broke down and told him how much I missed him and how I wish we hadn't grown so far apart over the past months. He didn't answer my texts. Two days pass, and I get a text yesterday that says "I'm officially single again". What does that mean? Part of me thinks that this is just a pattern I will see over and over again, but part of me KNOWS deep down in my soul that he loves me. I know he does. I don't have a doubt. And as stupid as it sounds, I think he doesn't think he is good enough for me just like so many other people tell me. I wish I could make him see what I see in him. I love him so much and know that if we gave each other a good, honest chance, we could make a good run at it...it should be given a chance...we should be given a chance. Help!

[redhearts]

He's using you. Using you for sex mostly. Why would a good woman like you want an ass like that whos going around dating women and having you on the back burner? As a maybe if I decided to give you a chance, not sure, I kind of want to explore. Uggh don't sit around waiting for a loser, because your wasting your time.

[Delusional Kisses]

Just to confirm....we only had oral sex twice in the beginning before we established a friendship and we only had sex twice (both times in January) after the friendship. I instigated it both times. We have shared a bed more times that I care to count with absolutely no contact...so I'd say he wasn't using me for sex. He could have had that all he wanted over the past two years. I was always a willing partner.

[Zeitgeist]

It sounds like he's scared of commitment. The question now is, what does he want with you by texting "I'm officially single again.". And that's exactly what you should ask him.

[Shyguy24]

I think he loves you you know what all u need in life is one chance to be together thats it !!

 

I think you should talk to him and go for it Hey at the least you would have given it a shot ..,life is to short and to miserable to let one chance in life to be happy go by ..i know from experience ..go for it all the best

[girl68]

Okay so he's not using you for sex. But he is using you as a good friend that will always be available to him should his other gf's not work out. And they never have... then, and only then does he show you he "loves" you.

 

IMO when someone really loves someone else they will do anything and everything to be with that person just like you would. Move, change jobs whatever- that is love. He is not doing the same for you.

 

I believe you should make him choose at this point friends or more than friends... he cannot toy with you no longer- unless you like that or want to let him use you... You should be prepared for the chance that he chooses to be just friends because after all it's his choice. If his choice is friends you should be stong enough to keep it as just that in the event he pulls another "I have a gf... so I can't be with you".

 

It seems very repetative, sure, he may love you- but he certainaly is not willing to give you any sort of fair chance which is what I would deem uncomprimisable. He is keeping you around because he can, and you're letting him pull all this crap... be firm with him- friends or more...

 

keep in mind "when you love someone nothing can keep you away."