I'm so sick of feeling like this

[samantha20]

I want to get my ex out of my head, I haven't seen her for almost 3 months but she's all I think about. I have dreams about her, she's the first thing I think about when I wake up and go to sleep. I'm scared to be in a room by myself because I sit and think about her and don't want to. I'm not seeing her or speaking to her so why won't this fade? Memories of our relationship play over and over in my head and I feel sad ALL THE TIME. I've always got this constant uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know it's tied up with me missing her so much. I feel like a part of me is missing. I don't know what to do, it's unbearable.

[Bob3000]

I could have written the same post.

 

I had stopped dreaming about her but she's been back again recently. Last night she tried to kiss me... just before I woke up.

 

I don't really have any advice. I summed up my feelings here. Maybe some of the replies I got will be helpful for you...

[chopperboy]

I'm in the same boat - I'm maintaining NC, but she's in my head ALL THE TIME. And, yes, evenings and mornings are the worst times.

 

If you can, listen to the song "Dreaming With a Broken Heart" by John Mayer, or at least look up the lyrics. It says it all.

[yankeefan74]

i feel for all of you. I'm just over a month past my breakup, and it's very hard for me. i'm up and down. All the memories of us...the plans we made...most of the time, i feel as though i've let it go...but then something hits me and i feel terrible again. it's all normal.

 

I beat myself up for being alone. i always have, and now that i'm single again...i'm back to beating myself up for not having someone. That is just making things worse, so i have to learn to stop it.

[samantha20]

Do you guys have a constant overwhelming feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach all the time? Don't know how to make that go away

[Bob3000]

Not quite constant. Not quite all the time. But those feelings flood back whenever they get a chance. Keeping myself busy can keep them at bay, but I wish I knew how to make them go away for good...

[ahop]

I'm so glad I ran into this thread because it's exactly the way I feel too. It's been 3 months since she split with me and 2 1/2 since I last saw her.. I have dreams about her frequently.. in every dream she seems distant towards me and I keep following her around.. it's crazy. And in every dream there is a different feature on her thats changed. Makes me think that it's some kind of spiritual way of my mind telling me that big things are changing in her life when I'm stuck in the same routine. I've been NC since the last time I saw her and the pain is still intense. Granted, less painful than the first few weeks.. so there is some improvement.. gotta build off what you can.

 

My biggest fear is running into her when I go out, we have some mutual friends and I even dread being around them for the chance that I will here something about her. I know she's been off traveling and taking the whole summer off.. and I can't help but wonder what she has all done and who she's met.

 

I fear if I run into her that I will have a breakdown in front of her or freak out if I see her with another guy.. It's sad that I almost wish that we ended on bad terms so that I could really see a reason why we aren't for each other.. but it didn't happen that way which keeps me thinking, what if? It's hard to find the bad things about her cause she was the closest thing to a perfect girl that I've ever imagined.. it makes me sad that I may not find one like that again. And that's why I think its been an epic struggle with NC, even though I have been successful.. Just gotta grin and bear it and it will eventually fade. I do have my dignity and respect in tact with her and all of the people that know us and that's something that keeps me going..

[tina-rocks]

Wow!

 

This is how I feel too!

 

However, the circumstances are slightly different as he is still here. Well until next year so I can't get away from it.

 

I wish none of us had to endure this pain.

 

My heart goes out to all of you

 

Tina x x

[journogirl]

i am absolutely at this stage too

that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach-it still doesnt feel real for me (has been nearly 3 weeks) feel like any second someone will say its all been a terrible mistake or i will wake up and really it was just a nitemare...

x

[StillSmiling]

Do you guys have a constant overwhelming feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach all the time? Don't know how to make that go away

 

YES!

 

But also to be honest, and it's been almost 3 months for me and 18 days of NC, and it has gotten a bit better. My mistake is if I have a few glasses of wine in the evening, it is back in the morning full force.

 

Also, if I have not had proper meals, it's worse. I lived on Ensure for the first few weeks because I simply could not eat. I didn't even take a shower for 4 days after he walked out! Ewwww.

 

Thankfully, now I am clean again =), try to eat better and healthy stuff, keeping the booze way down and running my poor dog to death. It's getting better.

[journogirl]

im so worried about bumping in to my ex too

he lives 30 seconds away from me...i am in constant dear that i will see him and freak out

again we have mutual friends and i find myself avoiding them as i cant bear the fact they still see him and hang out with him

i used to be a huge part of that circle and now they will be carrying on without me like normal

 

anyone feel the same?

xx

[istillluvu06]

yes the thoughts give me heart palpatations, and I can't breathe.

This is insane

[journogirl]

i am there too i feel like im gona have to change alot of my life and who i hang out with as i want to cut all connections with him

 

i hate that he lives so close to me its even harder as hes a stones throw away

so tough

xx

[ahop]

It is a terrible feeling. My ex lives a few minutes down the road with her parents.. I wonder if she's moving out? The last time I talked to her she said she was thinking about moving to Arizona, she just graduated college..

 

I want to contact her so bad but I know it will just make things worse.. I'm sure she would talk to me, but what would I say to her? I would just over analyze our convo and what she said and it would drive me nuts. I still check my e-mail and myspace everyday with the hope that I'll see a message but to no avail.. lol. I've successfully not checked her page in 2 months so that's good. She did send me some photos from a trip of ours a month back but that's the only contact theres been if you consider it that. When she did that it made me want to contact her so bad..but I held through.

 

This weekend is gonna be rough cause we had tickets to go to a concert, the same concert that we fell for each other at last summer.. She has the tickets that we were gonna go with and I wonder who she's going with now or if it will make her remember that day last year. I hate these stumbling blocks.. it's gonna make me sad.

[journogirl]

its really so tough

i just know that for my own piece of mind i have to look a tother social circles now and try and ahske up my life so i dont have connections to him

i am very close to a girl who i met through him but im finding it hard to be normal with her as she made it clear she would see him still and socialise with him which i cannot entertain right now

 

am i being irrational? xx

[gokings]

wow ! we have been broken up for 2 years and im still feeling the same ..its a tewilight zone!