I need a fresh pair of eyes to look at my life

[Ghost_z_reconyahoo.com]

Thank you for reading my post. My problem is internal. It is in my head. I am 22 years old. I am living 2 lives. In one life I am to be the way my parents are (Arabic, a devout Muslim, part of the Islamic community in America). This is because my parents moved from a country called Israel. My parents had me here in Cedar Rapids Iowa. My second life is the life I created for myself as an American. As soon as I was 18 I began experimenting. Things like sex, alcohol, and a drug called Weed. Well to make a long story short, when I left my very sheltered enviornment at my parents home and went to college... Wow... Everything was available. I felt like an alien that took the form of a human and I felt like I did not belong. I would feel guilty for endulging myself in sex with my girlfriend, listening to American music on the radio, and most importantly accidentally having a child out of wedlock and another one on the way. As I have matured I realized want I want from my life. My purpose. Everything I have done unfotunatly was done in the same city my parents live. I have decided to take my children down south to move. This way i can get away from feeling inadequet. How can I enjoy my life that i have created without feeling constantly that I am going against my parents? Sorry for the spelling errors i am sending this message through my phone.:splat:

[redhearts]

Ha, well you want to branch out and feel more that you are on your own, nothing wrong with that. Are you with your childrens mom? Wait, theres two different moms, hmm, do you have full custody or something? Its not just about what you want, but how it will affect your children too.

[Love_Music]

I understand that you don't want to do anything to upset your parents, or make them look at you like you're disrespecting your culture. But at the same time, you have to make sure YOU are happy. Your children are your main concern, and honestly, I don't see how moving down south would help you get away from being inadequate. The only thing that would really be doing is distancing yourself from your parents. I think that maybe if you talked to how your parents about the way you feel, they would be more understanding then you think.

[SadMan]

you have to make sure YOU are happy.

 

Thats the AMERICAN WAY..........!!!

 

So just pick one.

 

The Happy way?

 

or the Sad way?

 

take it easy on yourself.