My friend is eyeing my girl friend, what to do?

[Prime]

He is not really my friend anymore but he is still in the picture.

 

Before I asked my girlfriend out he met her and said he was going after her, I was pissed but I did not know how she felt about me so I did not really say too much.

 

He knew I liked her and continued to send her emails inviting her on trips that I was supposed to be going on, when really I was never invited.

 

Even today I get a random forwarded email that she was also attached, so I figure he's still contacts her, or tries atleast.

 

I really despise him, the thing is she she's him as a friend because we are friends and has even asked when we are going to hang out in a group again.

 

How do I cut the ties with this guy,he always asks about her, he is like a dormant cancer just waiting make his move when we are at our weakest.

 

Do I talk bad about him? Do I tell her what he's trying to do?

[Crush85]

Well, he's obviously not your friend. If I were you, I'd tell my gf about the situation. From what it sounds like, this guy won't quit and he still wants her. And that spells "trouble". Explain to her how you feel and see what her reaction is.

[redhearts]

Explain to her that hes not a very good friend to you and you rather not be around a person like that.

[allypally]

No true "mate" of a guy would pursue the same girl .... I thought there were some unspoken rules in the male dating world as there are in the female dating world.

 

I agree with the others, this guy isn't acting as a friend would - steer clear of him, but I'm not so sure about explaining to your gf about whats going on.

[bmwm3]

Kick his Ass . first talk to him and if he doesnt back off.. mans gotta do what a mans gotta do...

[Carmine]

This guy is not a friend.

 

There is a girl that both myself and a good friend of mine are into and she likes both of us, but he's known her for longer and always had stronger feelings for her. I respected his feelings and backed off. Now they're boyfriend and girlfriend and it makes me so happy to see them together.

 

If this guy was a true friend, he'd feel happy for you, not try to ruin what you have.

[schizo]

Talk to your girlfriend. If she truly cares about you and the relationship, she will understand and stop keeping in contact with this guy..

 

And like bmwm3 said...do some beating if you need to lol! The girl will think that is hot anyway ha ha

[Aviatormy]

Before I asked my girlfriend out he met her and said he was going after her.QUOTE]

 

 

So who met her first? Usually the guy rule is that once a guy says he is going to try and go after a girl then she is off limits. It is kinda like a "I got dibs" game. However, if the one that likes her does not succeed then the "friend" should ask for permission to try and go after her. If you say no, then she is off limits (no exceptions).

 

If a guy was eyeballing my GF and calling himself my friend at the same time.... this guy better hope that he has a gun

[Bkoguy07]

Just woop that ass, unless he's bigger then you... then calmly ask him to back off... haha then woop his ass

[Carmine]

Kick his A**. first talk to him and if he doesnt back off.. mans gotta do what a mans gotta do...

 

Hmm, believe me, I've kicked my share of a**, but this should be a last resort. You can get the point accross better through other means.

 

First talk to him. He could be madly in love with her and just desperate for all you know. If that's the case, there's no need to hurt the guy anymore. Just help him move on.

 

If he clearly doesn't respect your interests and wants to ruin your relationship, then:

 

Talk to your girlfriend. Once she realizes what he's up to, both you and her can shun the guy. I think him seeing the two of you happily together ignoring him will hurt and bug him more than anything physical.

 

If he's still that persistent, then I'm afraid you'll have to fail good old Gandhi and just beat some sense into him.

[bmwm3]

^ obovisouly this guy doesnt get the hint... like i said talk first.. if he doesnt back off... then do some beating... nothing wrong with that.. some guys need a good beating to grow up...

[Lionel Hutz]

I thought there were some unspoken rules in the male dating world as there are in the female dating world.

 

 

There are. Its called being a dirtbag when dudes are disloyal like this. No tolernace for this lack of respect will help. Dont blow a gasket, but do not let it happen. Let her know how you feel and what you know about his motives. It should be okay after that.

[Lionel Hutz]

obovisouly this guy doesnt get the hint... like i said talk first.. if he doesnt back off... then do some beating... nothing wrong with that.. some guys need a good beating to grow up.

 

I wasnt gonna say it, but yeah, thats what I would do. It may not even go that far though the threat alone might suffice.

[Carmine]

^ obovisouly this guy doesnt get the hint... like i said talk first.. if he doesnt back off... then do some beating... nothing wrong with that.. some guys need a good beating to grow up...

 

My point was that he could get the hint without resorting to that.

 

It seems like the girlfriend is still welcoming of him as a friend and has no idea he's hitting on her. That's probably what's still encouraging this guy. If SHE cuts ties with him, he'll hopefully get the hint that these two know what he's up to and don't want anything to do with him anymore.

[fastball2113]

actions speak louder then words, go take care of business

[Lucy__lou]

How do I cut the ties with this guy,he always asks about her, he is like a dormant cancer just waiting make his move when we are at our weakest.

Do I talk bad about him? Do I tell her what he's trying to do?

 

dormant cancer? (you have a way with words, prime)...

 

I'd just clarify to your girlfriend that he is not your friend, and other than that, forget about him and just focus on making your relationship good and strong, and don't let fear and insecurity overtake you. Focus on your girlfriend, not him. And if he's asking you about her, maybe just throw it back at him and ask him if he is still hung up on her? if he denies it then I guess you just give minimal answers.

 

If he's trying to stay in contact with her, it may just be as a friend. All you have to do is let your girlfriend know that you don't consider him your friend, so that way, this guy can't use this bogus friendship with you as an in. He has to befriend her on his own merits.

 

I'd also tell your girlfriend that this guy is or was interested in her, so that she can be ready for him if he does try to push beyond friendship, and she can be informed so as to put him in his place if he does.

 

Your fears will undermine your relationship more than he can. Put the whole situation into the sunlight, where no cancer can live.

[ghost69]

a lot of the things you say don't make sense. you were supposed to go on a trip you weren't invited to?

 

he's not your friend anymore but you hang out because you are friends?

 

anyways, you push all this crap into the back of your head. you trust your girl? that's all that matters. this dude makes a move she will shut him down.