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Pugwash53

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I have a friend who is seeing someone.They live a long distance apart and talk online but meet about say every couple of months ....the thing is,she does things like,telling everyone they meet every month (instead of every couple of months),that they've "been together" 3 years when ,although they've know each other longer they only started seeing one another like this about a year ago.The thing is,why? Why does she exaggerate these things?

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Maybe because a lot of people don't understand long distance relationships or think that they can work, so she tells people they have been together longer or see each other more so people wont vote against it so much.

 

Have you asked your friend why?

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Lying sucks in general. Brush it along like "really" and quickly change the subject. I tend to stay away from those who dont tell the truth. Drama usually follows for some weird reason. She might be very insecure and wants to feel like the center of attention, so she kinda inflates her real life and relationship. I wonder what she tells her boyfriend on the inverse about her friends. Fishy fishy behavior.

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I agree,it's very odd.The other thing she'll sometimes say is that eg he stays 4 nights,when he only stays 3 I did wonder if perhaps things are not as rosy as she'd like to think and maybe she was saying this to try to convince herself and others that things are better than they really are.I dunno,that's a kinder explanation maybe than that she's just "lying"for the sake of it.

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I agree,it's very odd.The other thing she'll sometimes say is that eg he stays 4 nights,when he only stays 3 I did wonder if perhaps things are not as rosy as she'd like to think and maybe she was saying this to try to convince herself and others that things are better than they really are.I dunno,that's a kinder explanation maybe than that she's just "lying"for the sake of it.

 

That could be it too. There are a lot of different reasons...and you're not going to know the truth unless you ask. You don't have to be like, "Hey you stupid liar, why did you say that?" You can just ask casually, "I thought you guys were only together for this long, why did you tell him/her something different?" Or you could even just ask her if things are going ok with her and her boyfriend.

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That could be it too. There are a lot of different reasons...and you're not going to know the truth unless you ask. You don't have to be like, "Hey you stupid liar, why did you say that?" You can just ask casually, "I thought you guys were only together for this long, why did you tell him/her something different?" Or you could even just ask her if things are going ok with her and her boyfriend.

 

I don't mention because I don't want to upset her,I guess.

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How do you mean ghost,that she "hates" the situation-she says/stresses just how happy she is,so I assume she is happy?

 

no, the LDR and the limited time they see each other probably bugs her. so she sugarcoats it so that nobody says anything which will upset her. she probably is somewhat happy with having the guy as her man, but not enough to be completely happy.

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I don't know,what she says doesn't make the situation any better than it is for her does it? I mean,if she doesn't want people to say anything to upset her,she 's probably better off not talking about it,whereas she seems keen to talk about it as often as possible,so the two things don't really make sense do they?

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I don't know,what she says doesn't make the situation any better than it is for her does it? I mean,if she doesn't want people to say anything to upset her,she 's probably better off not talking about it,whereas she seems keen to talk about it as often as possible,so the two things don't really make sense do they?

 

maybe she wants to be part of the conversation and that is the only interesting thing she has to talk about. or the only thing remotely exciting going on. i dunno why she chooses to talk about it. but i know how some girls are. they like to brag about what they have.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, about the first lies you listed, I wanted to suggest that maybe she's really bad at keeping time. I often feel like it's been 3 days, when it's been 5, or vice versa, or forget if it's Tuesday or Friday (okay, lame examples, but you get the idea).

 

If a relationship lasts a bit over 11 months, often I'll say "a year" just b/c it's easier. Plus, even before a relationship is "official", there will be courtship that begins (and develops, then becomes really obvious) in the friendship stages, so it may be hard to gauge w/o having been there with them during that time.

 

So, I was going to ask if she told any other sorts of lies, b/c they all seemed to be centered around time-keeping. BUT, you might have blown my theory with that last one. Lying about the age difference? Seems pretty odd.

Unless maybe she's just old-school, thinking that anyone over 30 is over-the-hill, and doesn't want anyone to know her real age?

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Only way to know why she's lying about these little things is to ask HER. We can give you 100 and 1 reasons why she "might" be doing it but they all "might" be wrong.

 

Either way - why are you so concerned about this? R u interested in this girl? N hoping she isn't as happy as she says?

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