Am i jealous?

unlucky · February 12, 2003

I recently had a horrible dating experience where i was accused of being the jealous type.

I started dating this girl after she cheated on her boyfriend of 5 years with me.

She made me feel like i was the one to rescue her from her miserable relationship. A couple of months later she dumped saying she didn't want a relationship right now and just needed time. I told her i'd give her all the time she needed. During the time we were together i notice she had many male friends who all wanted her from what i could tell. The reason she dumped me was because she thought i was the jealous type.

As it turns out she is now going out with one of the guys i though wanted her and continued to lead me on while she was going out on dates with him.

Also she became very close 'friends' with one of my best friends. She would sleep in his bed and they went on a holiday together for a week.

I told her i no longer wanted her and she accused me of being jealous.

She now has 7 male friends who she goes out to the movies, dinner etc. with while she is dating this guy.

Something about her just told me she wasn't trustworthy apart from the obviuos fact of her cheating on her ex.

I have never been accused of being the jealous type before and she has a history of guys getting jealous and obsessive with her.

Do i sound like the jealous type?

Am i and her ex's the jealous type?

any comments appreciated.

mermayd · February 12, 2003

hey there. I really do not see you as being the jealous one here. She would be the "jealous type" if the tables were turned and you have a bunch of attractive female friends that were always flirting with you. I think she has personal issues that she needs to resolve. She may be only friends with these people, but she needs to draw some lines when she commits to a relationship and she didn't seem to do that. It sounds to me like she depends and thrives off of the attention from men. If you were jealous, and her ex (who she cheated on) was jealous...I amsure there were others that have been jealous as well and she is using it as an excuse towards her mates so she doesn't have to face why she thrives off of this attention. It is an excuse that makes it easy for her to leave one and go onto another. Dont worry you are not the jealous type. You may have been jelous but it sounds to me like you had a perfectly valid reason for being so.

Blue_Guy · February 12, 2003

Hey mate 8)

I agree with mermayde, I don't see you as the jealous type.

Maybe she was just trying to get you jealous and see your response

I can't really tell you just to get over the fact cause it sounds like you really had something going for her.

If she is like that mate, then I guess she is not for you and only wanted confort from you, but you don't really want to feel like that cause it will only make you feel the worse.

There are plenty of ladies out there looking for a guy such as yourself.

All the best dude.

SwingFox · February 12, 2003

Hi unlucky...

I am sorry that this young woman makes you feel the way you feel right now. You question yourself if you are the jealous type or not. I think your question is somewhat different, though. What I read between the lines is that you are unhappy.

My rule in life is: The only obligation you have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy. Now with this in mind, are you ready for her making you feel unhappy any further?

If the answer is: "I would want to wait for her", my suggestion is to stop worry and try again with her later. If your answers is: "Heck no! I want to be happy myself," it might be a good idea to go your separate ways and for you to find a young woman that matches you more.

On a side note: I might be wrong, but this girl is just addicted to getting attention from ANY guy. I am not saying she is doing anything wrong, but at least I can relate to guys having a REAL BIG problem with her behaviour.

I hope this was of help for you and wish you good luck in what you do!

~ SwingFox ~