yellow_sweater Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 August 22nd would have been the 8 year anniversary with my ex-boyfriend/ partner/ fiancee. August 22nd will also be the 1 year anniversary of the break-up/ separation from my ex. August 22nd is my 1 year anniversary. With myself, as a person and a woman. My anniversary of improving my living situation. My anniversary of changing my attitude about my job. My anniversary of making new friends, some of whom are now the best friends that I wish had years ago. My anniversary of growing closer to my family. My anniversary of picking up new hobbies. My anniversary of choosing to surround myself with beauty. My anniversary of meeting new people, dating, learning what I want in a partner and what I'll do differently the next time around. My anniversary of deciding that myself, my decisions, and my attitude would guide how I reacted to and processed my heartbreak. My anniversary of reaching out, of reaching inward, of looking around, and most importantly, of finding peace with myself and my life. August 22nd is a big day for me. The past year has brought so much pain and sorrow, but also so much growth and positive change. I am immensely proud of how I handled the past year. It has been a journey and a process... to which there will never be an end. But there are mile markers on the journey. August 22nd is a symbol. It's a mile marker that represents healing. It says to me that I have completed a time of mourning, reflection, and introspection. I am ready for the next chapter. ---- On August 22nd, I plan on taking the day off work. I want the day to be a celebration. I am looking for symbolic activities and rituals that I can do on August 22nd to mark my anniversary. Here are my ideas: --Smudging (google it to find out more), in my apartment, to symbolically cleanse my home and to symbolize that I am now a family of one instead of two --Creating a piece of art (probably multi-media, maybe something written) related to my journey over the past year, to stand for the creativity and inner wisdom that I have cultivated over the past year --Going rock climbing in the evening (an activity that I took up after the break-up; it has been tremendously healing for me in multiple ways) --Burning photographs of my ex and I, to symbolize that our bond is broken and gone, like smoke into a wind. Burying the ashes to symbolize that my sorrows are dead and gone and I'm ready to move forward. --Writing a list of things that I love, to express my gratitude, with special attention to the things that helped me heal over the last year. The one thing that's missing is an aspect that is forward looking. This is ceremonial to mark the passing of time, but also celebratory to mark the beginning of a new chapter. This is a happy day! So, I turn to the eNotAlone community, to whom I turned in the days right after my break-up: what are some ideas for something celebratory and forward-looking? (I am a big believer in the rituals of humanity. We use celebrations and rituals to celebrate and consecrate all sorts of events, from birthdays to new babies, love, and death. If you like to color within the lines and stick to generally recognized rituals like birthday parties and weddings, then this might seem weird to you. That's fine, just move along.) Link to comment
Karen33 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 That is a totally amazing post yellow_sweater! Very inspirational and its kind of where I'm at at the moment. I don't have any great suggestions of how you can celebrate or mark the occasion. Perhaps a small tattoo that means something to you? Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Thank you, Karen! A tattoo is a great idea, but I don't think it's right for me. I already have one, and I think that's enough. It could be a very special idea for another person, though. Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hi Yellow Sweater Great post - I like it. How about planting a baby tree in some special place where you can always go back and see how it has grown - how it has flourished? If you don't have your own garden, then take one to some other quiet special place and plant it? Just my thoughts because I do find all that stuff so theraputic. Mark Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 How about planting a baby tree in some special place where you can always go back and see how it has grown - how it has flourished? If you don't have your own garden, then take one to some other quiet special place and plant it? BINGO. Gosh, that brings tears to my eyes! It's perfect! Thank you so much... you are the best!! I even know which type of tree to select and where I will plant it. Other ideas are still appreciated! There is a lot of time in the day. Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Awww, Yellow! Glad you thought that idea was useful. What sort of tree would you select, out of interest? Mark Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Why not start a jar where every day you will put your spare change into, then each year at the end of the year on your anniversary, take the money saved from the jar and buy yourself some nice trinket, or a little vacation or nice meal. You are building your future each day by putting money in the jar, and can celebrate each year with the proceeds. Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 If I can find one, the paper birch. It's one of the first trees here to put out leaves in the spring, so I always associate it with new beginnings. Also, the paper of the bark can peel off, leaving new bark under it. That makes me think of healing, in terms of sloughing off old, dead things and exposing new things to the world. Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Why not start a jar where every day you will put your spare change into, then each year at the end of the year on your anniversary, take the money saved from the jar and buy yourself some nice trinket, or a little vacation or nice meal. You are building your future each day by putting money in the jar, and can celebrate each year with the proceeds. That's a nice idea! I already do something similar... I have a little jar where I keep my pennies and change. I've been doing that for... well... just about a year! I don't think I have much in there, but I will check. Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hi Yellow Wow - great great choice. Over here we have silver birch which is very similar. I have several in my garden and are definitely my favourite - beautiful. Hope you manage to find one! Mark Link to comment
Takotsubo Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Wow, that's great! I really admire that! Link to comment
bridgid8 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Hey there, YS! I don't have a suggestion for you (expect champagne), but it is great to hear you are doing so well and taking the time to celebrate your life. Even through the pain, it is amazing what you can accomplish in one year. I am proud of myself, too. Thanks for all the help when I was at my lowest, you really helped me put some things in perspective. Happy Anniversary!! Link to comment
Eternalhope Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Good for you Yellow.You have grown a lot as a person in the past year and you have a lot to be proud of.A great example of making good from bad!!!! Link to comment
lostnva Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 What a wonderful post.....good job! Im 2 months in and getting better everyday. Good days and bad days......I hope in one year I am were you are! Do you have any pets....even something easy to care for like a fish or something....so that you have something with there with you... Link to comment
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