The Difference in Cultures - Virginity

[Carmine]

virginity = no chlamydia

 

no chlamydia = good

 

thus

 

virginity = good

[rocio]

Good old American culture, hooray, land of high divorce rates and unhappy marriages. American culture ain't working too well in this area.

 

Although America takes the brunt of attacks on this issue, it does not have the highest divorce rate. And I think that, in countries where there are drastically lower divorce rates, that is because people feel forced to stay in miserable or even abusing situations.

 

...but that's a whole new topic altogether.

[jenny_mcs]

Good old American culture, hooray, land of high divorce rates and unhappy marriages. American culture ain't working too well in this area.

Yet the country with the lowest divorce rate is Libya, which is consistently targeted by Human Right watch for it's repressive laws/customs -particularly against women.

[ddgc]

see- i know-- that says a lot

[amipushy]

Yet the country with the lowest divorce rate is Libya, which is consistently targeted by Human Right watch for it's repressive laws/customs -particularly against women.

 

I suspect that they don't divorce because they are too scared because that they might be beaten or disappear.

[Batya33]

I agree with COD and don't feel that I missed out on anything by having few partners and that defining "experiencing life" by the number of sexual partners or variety of sexual experiences is a bit sad.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Yet the country with the lowest divorce rate is Libya, which is consistently targeted by Human Right watch for it's repressive laws/customs -particularly against women.

 

Way to cherry pick an example, well done, not! There are countries that have lower divorce rate than the US and are NOT repressive, so ha!

[jenny_mcs]

Way to cherry pick an example, well done, not! There are countries that have lower divorce rate than the US and are NOT repressive, so ha!

 

Right, and there are countries that have high divorce rates that aren't nearly as modernized as the US- so see, it works both ways.

[MD Geist]

As a virgin male myself I would say to be honest women don't like virgin men because of the lack of experience especially if they are older like past 20 years old.

 

I have had issues even trying to date because of this, I can't think of anything else as to why I can't get a girlfriend at this point. Its more like somekind of curse or deasese.

 

My faith and fear keeps me a virgin I had wished I would have lost it years ago and now I feel like that chance has come and gone.

[Luke Skywalker]

As a virgin male myself I would say to be honest women don't like virgin men because of the lack of experience especially if they are older like past 20 years old.

 

What is interesting is that you go to seek out women in church. I would imagine an authentic church is going to esteem virginity as based on a decision to wait until getting married as your body is sanctified unto the Lord as holy within that faith. We are not talking about MTV pop culture here.

How do you reconcile this?

 

I have had issues even trying to date because of this, I can't think of anything else as to why I can't get a girlfriend at this point. Its more like somekind of curse or deasese.

 

How do girls know that you are a virgin? Do you tell them you are a virgin before asking them out? Do you think that maybe it's something else?

 

My faith and fear keeps me a virgin I had wished I would have lost it years ago and now I feel like that chance has come and gone.

 

Your faith is a good enough reason to stay a virgin. If women are more important than your faith to the point you have regrets of not sinning, then you have a serious faith crises on your hands.

[rocio]

Have you guys heard about this 10 year old girl who got a divorce?

 

I find it very sick and twisted that, in a society where women are expected to remain "pure", it is normal and accepted for a 10 year old girl to be married off to a man 3 times her age, beaten and raped.

 

Very ironic.

 

I'll take a country with higher divorce rates and rights for women anyday.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Very ironic.

 

I'll take a country with higher divorce rates and rights for women anyday.

 

Again with the damn cherry picking. As if lower divorce rates and rights for women are mutually exclusive. i give up with you people sometimes. ](*,)

[rocio]

i give up with you people sometimes. ](*,)

 

That's a conclusion you made, not me.

 

All I'm saying is this:

 

Women file more divorces than men, on average.

 

In many countries where the divorce rate is low, women do not have the freedom to file divorces.

 

So clearly, women's rights have alot to do with average figures. It can't explain all differences, but it does explain some.

 

Also, in the U.S., areas with high divorce rates are correlated with areas of high conservative Christians - the ones who supposedly have such strong family values and are encouraged to remain virgins until marriage.

 

Where did this debate start? It started with someone implying that, in America, there is a relationship between premarital sex and high divorce rates. I think that is a strong oversimplification, just as you think my women's rights v.s. divorce relationship is an oversimplification.

 

Good old American culture, hooray, land of high divorce rates and unhappy marriages. American culture ain't working too well in this area.

 

I live in Canada, where our divorce rate is only half that of the U.S. And yet, we are less religious than Americans. We have similar views on sex before marriage, the same media influences and a very similar culture. I say religious guilt, female purity and all that other mumbo-jumbo is a distraction.

[amipushy]

As a virgin male myself I would say to be honest women don't like virgin men because of the lack of experience especially if they are older like past 20 years old.

 

I have had issues even trying to date because of this, I can't think of anything else as to why I can't get a girlfriend at this point. Its more like somekind of curse or deasese.

 

My faith and fear keeps me a virgin I had wished I would have lost it years ago and now I feel like that chance has come and gone.

 

A few things- Don't tell them and then you wont have that problem with dating. Only tell the ones your going to sleep with.

 

I understand the faith bit but fear? There's nothing to be afraid of where sex is concerned. And the fact that you think our time has come and gone at 20 is ridiculous. Your time will come.

[MD Geist]

What is interesting is that you go to seek out women in church. I would imagine an authentic church is going to esteem virginity as based on a decision to wait until getting married as your body is sanctified unto the Lord as holy within that faith. We are not talking about MTV pop culture here.

How do you reconcile this?.

 

I agree waiting is the best thing to do however unfornately there's women out there dispite there faith they want someone "who knows what there doing". To be honest I wouldn't date a woman who's faith isn't strong and thats also very tough to find at my age since everbody is into this MTV generation or they aren't married at a young age or committed to someone already.

 

They are out there just impossible to find.

 

 

How do girls know that you are a virgin? Do you tell them you are a virgin before asking them out? Do you think that maybe it's something else?.

 

Women just know especially those who are very experienced with men. It just seems obovius to them when you approach.

 

 

Your faith is a good enough reason to stay a virgin. If women are more important than your faith to the point you have regrets of not sinning, then you have a serious faith crises on your hands.

 

 

I don't think I have a faith crisis on my hand more like a dating crisis

[MD Geist]

A few things- Don't tell them and then you wont have that problem with dating. Only tell the ones your going to sleep with.

 

As of late some women to my suprize want to sleep with me it was like on my 22nd birthday I was suprized but then again I was drunk(I don't do so well with alchol) and I was out with a large number of my closest friends and this girl was talking to me and I told her I was a virgin and she became very interested in me like trying to get more one on one time with me and all I can say is thank god I have responsible friends.

 

I prefer to tell them as early as possible because I want to tell them where iam coming from the beginning and not later on as the relationship progresses because i don't want to end up with someone who doesn't respect the fact that people do wait and her mindset will be some where else you know.

 

I understand the faith bit but fear? There's nothing to be afraid of where sex is concerned. And the fact that you think our time has come and gone at 20 is ridiculous. Your time will come.

 

Sex has always made me shy dispite I did my home work on it back in the 6th grade I knew alot of close people around me who caught STD's and had greater responsiblitly at an early age and it scared me because everybody was doing it and it came from sex. I made my dission to wait along time ago long before I accepted faith back into my life.

 

At 22 years old and not getting any younger any woman could have mixed feeling about this issue she might think that being a virgin at a later age is somekind of redflag and I don't think she would except that fact. What if shes not a virgin herself? I can't safisfy her needs. The list goes on but anyways it pretty much has come and gone.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Also, in the U.S., areas with high divorce rates are correlated with areas of high conservative Christians - the ones who supposedly have such strong family values and are encouraged to remain virgins until marriage.

 

Where did this debate start? It started with someone implying that, in America, there is a relationship between premarital sex and high divorce rates. I think that is a strong oversimplification, just as you think my women's rights v.s. divorce relationship is an oversimplification.

 

Good analysis, seriously. Yeah, I've read that about the conservative Christians. I think it's b/c they marry so much earlier than non conservative Christians along with a host of other reaons, I'm sure.

 

Just wanted to say I just meant that we're not doing things so well in the US in terms of marriage and relationships so was just positing that perhaps part of the reason is that our value system (eg, it's cool to have sex a lot and early in life) is so out of whack.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Because a lot of people are idiotic, is the short answer.

 

Nah, it tends to have an evolutionary basis. If a man hasn't had sex, he won't have fathered other children, so all resources can be directed to the woman and no one else should she fall pregnant, if you see where I'm coming from. This is what we did in evolutionary psychology the other week, at any rate. However, environmental factors/ie Hollywood have addled brains, and our ancestral inclinations havn't caught up to birth control etc etc

[Luke Skywalker]

Women just know especially those who are very experienced with men. It just seems obovius to them when you approach.

 

I have a few comments to make about this.

 

First of all, virginity has nothing to do about that and I think you are just scapegoating it as an excuse to other problems you may have, such as social anxiety, not meeting the right people, etc... If that was really the case, then just use a prostitute or get a pity-lay and you'll see that you are the same person afterwards and will still have these anxieties or esteem issues. You'll probably come up with some other excuse.

 

I know this from second hand knowledge on the internet as I'm still a virgin myself. People lost their virginity, and they are the same person EXCEPT they are non-virgins and if they are lucky, don't have STDs to boot. Other cases there has been a spike in confidence of women and connection. But no two cases are the same and there is no guarantee that it's just a virginity isue.

 

Second of all, if you believe in a spirit world, in particular the devil and the different types of demons, then what happens is you are looking for some diabolical activation by losing your virginity so you can connect key-hole wise with other diabolical spirits in women that have spirits of lust. For example, you lose your virginity by committing fornication, automatically you opened a doorway for the spirit of lust. That new spirit of lust can now communicate with another girl who has a similar spirit and trigger you to sin with her. It's all part of the devil's plan, you have these spirits that influence people to sin all the time, and now you would be buying into that. Under this logic, you are not getting more experience, you are getting infested by demons, and other people with similar demons will recognize what's changed and will feel a connection. As a Christian -- a born-again Christian -- that's sounds like a free-fall in the wrong direction.

 

 

I don't think I have a faith crisis on my hand more like a dating crisis

 

It has a potential of a faith crises.

[Luke Skywalker]

At 22 years old and not getting any younger any woman could have mixed feeling about this issue she might think that being a virgin at a later age is somekind of redflag and I don't think she would except that fact. What if shes not a virgin herself? I can't safisfy her needs. The list goes on but anyways it pretty much has come and gone.

 

 

I'm 10 years older than you and I'm still a virgin and really do not see any problems of this in real life as you are mentioning it. If you say women smell out you are a virgin, then why do you have to tell them. it's like you are saying, women are smelling something is wrong with you, then you are confirming their suspicions by saying " yeah, you guess it I'm not really good enough for you because I have this defect, see, I'm a VIRGIN, but do you still want to go out with me? Huh? Do you? Do you?"

 

I couldn't care less if a woman is a virgin or not, but I know one thing a non-virgin girl cant do -- she cant hurt me as badly as a virgin girl if she cheats on me. Like say for example, suppose you go with a virgin girl, fall in love with her, and she cheats on you with a non-virgin player who has more prowess and is able to seduce her which you cant even do, then what then? Suppose she starts crying that all men are bad and uses you as an emotional tampoon about how she got used by some guy who 'accidentally' seduced her but did not intend to do so? I used to want virgin girls before, but now I don't care either way, as long as she ain't a virgin when she meets me and cheats or something.

 

She's used goods while you are seeing her. That virgin girl may also be looking for a guy that knows what he is doing and lose her virginity with him while you remain a virgin, while a non-virgin girl may be settling down and may not act up like that.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Wow...those are such major generalizations...I have no idea how you came up with these theories.

[Luke Skywalker]

Wow...those are such major generalizations...I have no idea how you came up with these theories.

 

You like them? It's my thesis paper that I got an A+ in when I got a masters degree in the school of hard knocks.

 

Seriously, a non-virgin girl can not lose her virginity so she can not hurt a guy by losing her virginity if she cheats and any cheating wont be as devestating or meaningful than if she were a virign. Suppose they are engaged and waiting to be married, both virgins, and one of the party cheats? Maybe I"m wrong, and anyone who has experienced a partner cheating will feel betrayed, whether the other party is a virgin or not. I just thought that if both parties are virgins and one of them cheats, that it's more devestating for the virgin party.

 

This is not a generalisation, that is pain.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You like them? It's my thesis paper that I got an A+ in when I got a masters degree in the school of hard knocks.

 

Seriously, a non-virgin girl can not lose her virginity so she can not hurt a guy by losing her virginity if she cheats and any cheating wont be as devestating or meaningful than if she were a virign. Suppose they are engaged and waiting to be married, both virgins, and one of the party cheats? Maybe I"m wrong, and anyone who has experienced a partner cheating will feel betrayed, whether the other party is a virgin or not. I just thought that if both parties are virgins and one of them cheats, that it's more devestating for the virgin party.

 

This is not a generalisation, that is pain.

 

 

Cheating is cheating whether virgin or not virgin. It is betrayal, it is putting the other person's health at risk, it is lying and it is making a mockery of the person being cheated on. The devastation to the person who was cheated on is the same because cheating is about the character of the person cheating...it has nothing to do with whether they were a virgin or not.

[MD Geist]

I'm 10 years older than you and I'm still a virgin and really do not see any problems of this in real life as you are mentioning it. If you say women smell out you are a virgin, then why do you have to tell them. it's like you are saying, women are smelling something is wrong with you, then you are confirming their suspicions by saying " yeah, you guess it I'm not really good enough for you because I have this defect, see, I'm a VIRGIN, but do you still want to go out with me? Huh? Do you? Do you?"

 

Being a virgin at a later age in this day in age it feels as if there's something wrong with me.

 

I couldn't care less if a woman is a virgin or not, but I know one thing a non-virgin girl cant do -- she cant hurt me as badly as a virgin girl if she cheats on me. Like say for example, suppose you go with a virgin girl, fall in love with her, and she cheats on you with a non-virgin player who has more prowess and is able to seduce her which you cant even do, then what then? Suppose she starts crying that all men are bad and uses you as an emotional tampoon about how she got used by some guy who 'accidentally' seduced her but did not intend to do so? I used to want virgin girls before, but now I don't care either way, as long as she ain't a virgin when she meets me and cheats or something.

 

Cheating is cheating regardless of experience it will hurt even if she is much more experienced than i am. Dating, love and even sex is playing with serious emotions and once someone is beytrated i mean its going to hurt regardless.

 

She's used goods while you are seeing her. That virgin girl may also be looking for a guy that knows what he is doing and lose her virginity with him while you remain a virgin, while a non-virgin girl may be settling down and may not act up like that.

 

Ulitmately I think since iam a guy and such more pressure is put on me to satsify her in the relationship.

 

If she is a virgin great if not there could be problems down the line.

[Luke Skywalker]

Being a virgin at a later age in this day in age it feels as if there's something wrong with me.

 

...sure, and being a true bible-believing born-again Christian means that dedicates his life to the Lord and lives to please God in worship and conduct means there is something wrong with you in this day and age. Was Jesus popular with the world? He was Crucified despite all His good deeds and miracles where He helped His fellow Jews (He is Risen). You know Bible says to be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you might find what is the perfect, acceptable and permissive will of God. If you are conformed to this world, then sure, if you are living a straight life something is wrong with you. If you are not into a bit of drugs, getting drunk, being hip, listening to world music, wanting to be with the jones and what not, then something is wrong with you if you are just content.

 

So, the way I see it, if you are living for God, nothing is wrong with you, but if you feel that way and start projecting it with women, then you are making a self-fulfilling prophecy because you give off a projection that you are insecure about yourself because of your virginity and that turns off prospects more than being a virgin arising from a strong religious conviction. If you have a strong religious conviction backing your virginity, then women who reject you on that are self-eliminating themselves since they do not share your values anyway, why would you want them?