exploding head Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I dont really know what happened any differently, but after two weeks of NC I wake up and feel a lot better. Im actually able to get some things done. I'm also continually reminding myself to let go when I start thinking about her. it seems to be helping a lot. So phase two is to develop ways to kinda find myself. I feel like i lost myself in the relationship and want to get back to where I was before I met her. Even then I wasnt quite where I wanted to be in my life. She just sorta popped in. I'd been dabbling in Buddhism a few years ago and always found meditation helpful. There's a service being held on thursday night. I might go over there and sit in. Link to comment
chopperboy Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Glad to hear your're doing better, exploding_head. You were pretty down the last few days. When things are rough, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, while you stick with NC. When things are looking better, finding yourself is exactly the right pursuit. I'm also counting the days of NC that pass. I'm not out of the woods yet, by any means, but I look forward to undertaking some self-care soon. It's the only way to heal - alone. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 It's amazing how that n/c thing works. Indeed it can propell us into areas of new power and exploration. Link to comment
Jetta Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Sounds like a good idea to go to the service. So glad you've reached a new level. Continued wellness. Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hey exploding head I am so glad you are feeling a bit more positive about your situation - that is fantastic news. I think that is a great idea to get along to that service and see what's up. You say that back then, you were not where you wanted to be in your life and this seems like a great oppertunity to set some goals for yourself. Keep strong and keep us updated, ok? Mark Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hey you, so pleased your feeling alot better. I too feel i lost myself in my relationship, so im in the same boat of trying to rebuild myself again. Im sure youl became the person you want to be in the end and a much stronger and wiser person from your experiences. Think i might try some meditation exersises too so thanks for the idea x Link to comment
exploding head Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 update. so almost three weeks of NC, not even looking at her myspace page and low and behold, she's been looking at mine. Im kinda indifferent about it. I think thats shes irked that shes not holding the power over me anymore. She's sent me 6 or 7 stupid links and stuff from the internet, but I havent responded to any of it. Wish me strength fellas. I dont even open the meails she sends now Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Hey exploding head Good for you for keeping strong! That is your best bet - ignore anything she sends - you are doing this for you now. She likely will get a bit pee'd off when she realises that you are not "there" anymore - you are not a wobbling heap of jelly without her. Keep it up won't you - you are doing a fantastic job of getting you back. Mark Link to comment
exploding head Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 Of course today im missing her terribly. And trying to fight bac k these feelings of "we can make it work, we can make it work." and why the hell is she looking at my myspace page? Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Shes probably just curious and isnt getting any attention from you whatsoever. You must stay strong, you are doing a great job, i know it hurts but keep that strength and youl b proud of yourself for it in the end. Ive just been listening to 'i am the ressurrection' by the stone roses on you tube- great words for helping with NC. lol x Link to comment
exploding head Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 Love the Stone Roses... yeah, Im doing alright. ran last night and just pushed myself hard. I now have really nice calf and leg muscles to go along with the 35lbs. lost. Makes me feel accomplished. On another note, I am really feeling good about my self confidence again. Was dressed up in a suit this morning and had this lady at the coffee shop flirting with me big time. feeling awesome now. Link to comment
exploding head Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 hell yes... Stone Roses - I am the resurrection Down down, you bring me down I hear you knocking down my door and I can't sleep at night Your face, it has no place No room for you inside my house I need to be alone Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do Turn turn, I wish you'd learn There's a time and place for everything I've got to get it through Cut loose, cause you're no use I couldn't stand another second in your company Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do Stone me, why can't you see You're a no-one nowhere washed up baby who'd look better dead Your tongue is far too long I don't like the way it sucks and slurps upon my every word Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do I am the resurrection and I am the light I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like I am the resurrection and I am the light I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Well, now that your heads almost done exploding perhaps you coulds rename yourself 'sexy legs' in honour of your new physic! Great song, got me through some very dark moments! Very uplifting and the lyrics are so apt! Link to comment
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