gee Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hey all, I'm at a point where I feel better about the break up. I guess slowly but surely I am getting completely over it. But the issue here is that I have good days where I am happy and days like today where she pops in my head from time to time and start thinking about her a lot..makes me sad. I know for a fact that I am stronger, but those calls that I have received from her are killing me because I NEVER ignore her! This is all new to me and there are days where I am curious to know what she wants. I know NC is for me, I know! I am sticking to it no matter what, but sometimes my mind gets the best of me. I know there will be days like this, but after almost 8 months of crap I thought I'd be ok by now. Damn! She called me again last Friday (ignored it) and today I had a lil urge to find out what she wants. I am kinda struggling today, ugh! I am trying to focus on other things, but I feel I can't control it at times. Is there something that I can do to get over this obstacle? I've read a lot of people having set backs here but I thought I would be able to handle it better than I imagined. I am really, really trying! I feel after getting over this obstacle I will be very close to the finish line! Like always I am very grateful, and appreciate any adivice and comments! I hope everyone is doing well! gee BTW, this is my 1st post here in the healing section! I can't believe I've made it this far! I am proud of my accomplishments after almost 8 months! Thank God! Link to comment
lisa1126 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hi, You have been doing well for 8 months. And you are doing what's good for you by not responding to her calls. Please keep on doing that! You know nothing will come out of responding to her calls. It was over, it's been over, and you have done well trying to heal nad move on. Don't let her calls at this point set you back to square one! Keep on doing NC, i'ts not worth it to find out what she wants. If it is something of life and death or something comparably significant you will know, but other than that, it's probably she just wants to touch base, nothing more, nothing less. You don't need this, and this will accomplish nothing for you. Link to comment
sadbunny Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hi well the Arsenal badge is a very good thing but back to the important stuff. You seem to know what is best for you so go with it, if you know its gonna take you back a few steps then don't, think about you. It's been 8 months look what you have accomplished, you got through the worst of it, don't let her set you back. Im still going through the break up thing and if you were going through what I am and you got through it then good for you. Onwards and upwards don't look back. x Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Yea we are curious about what they want. But if she wanted you back, she would definatley know how to get in touch w you. NC is the only way. There's no way you can talk to her about anything and not cause yourself a relapse after all you have accomplished. I think there are going to be really hard days from time to time. But eventually they will get better. When you have the urge to contact, just remember how horrrible you felt in the beginning and talkig to her could bring you right back to that time and all this hard work youve accomplished will be gone. You have the strength........ I wish you the best Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Curiosity and a bit of wishful thinking is natural...just don't act on it...remember that saying "curiosity killed the cat"...well, it won't kill you but it will set you back. If she really wanted to reconcile she would make sure you knew...not just send stupid, meaningless messages. Keep strong, you are doing well. Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hey Gee - well done making it to the healing section - I am proud of you too because this stuff ain't easy. It is bound to make things harder for you with her in the background childishly and selfishly yanking your chain. But you are doing the right thing and I can tell you that it won't be long before her lame calls become a source of amusement to you. You can do it mate - keep strong - keep busy and keep smiling. Chelski fan! Link to comment
yellowknight Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Sounds like we're roughly at the same point. It's been ten months for me, though she's seeing somebody now and doesn't call me at all. Trust me when I say morbid curiosity will only set you back. WAAAAAY BACK. Take it from a man who let his mind get the best of him and found out more than he wanted to Link to comment
gee Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 Guys, I appreciate this! I am feeling a bit better about this. I know I can do it! I'm hoping this is the final stage of all this drama. I have so many goals that I'd like to accomplish the next year or 2 and focusing on that will get me to where I need to be. I always hoped it would be with her though but she has made her decision. I totally understand if I let the best get out of me and decide to call her it will probably drag me back waaaay back, and all that I have been through and accomplished will be a waste! I just wanted to come here and let things out because I know you all care and I will always find comfort here. I am extremely grateful for the support. Like clabs, said "this stuff ain't easy"! Boy is he right! Thank you all! gee Clabs, I had a feeling you were with chelski. Good luck next season! Link to comment
yellowknight Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Glad to hear you're feeling better. Again, some days will be better than others. Yesterday was a good day for me. Today, that dull ache in my chest is back. But I know it's a process, and I know someday I won't feel a thing anymore. In the meantime, I'm going out, having fun and trying to meet people. This Sunday, I'm going to the beach with a friend who's bringing some of her friends . If anything, it's a distraction, and I think that's what we need right now. Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 The ups and downs are never fun. yesterday was a tough day, today isn't so bad. I think it really depends on how much time you sit and think about losing someone you've loved for a long time. There is a whole world of people out there. Dating might be frustrating, but it's an opportunity to meet all sorts of people. i hope that more "good" days than bad are in store for you. Hang in there. Link to comment
HoTung Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 You can do it - me too don;t feel so bad now cos u are on 8 month and 10 months - thought i was nuts cos i was still thinking about him after 6.5 months phew Link to comment
gee Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 The ups and downs are never fun. yesterday was a tough day, today isn't so bad. I think it really depends on how much time you sit and think about losing someone you've loved for a long time. There is a whole world of people out there. Dating might be frustrating, but it's an opportunity to meet all sorts of people. i hope that more "good" days than bad are in store for you. Hang in there. Thanks Yankeefan! I am trying to meet new people but not to date. I am taking the rest of 08 to complete my healing process and grow stronger in all aspects. Next year is my year!!! I have plans and if I meet someone special I will be more than happy to share that with her! I just hope I find the one! Thank you everyone! gee Link to comment
gee Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 One more thing...I blocked her from facebook (awhile ago) she was never in my friends list, but I did it so I won't be temtped to look or view her when it says, "people you might know." I have her brother as a friend, but he changed his profile pic. He put up a pic of both of them as his main pic. I don't go on his profile because I don't want to see any pics of her. So, last night I looked at my friends list and saw that pic and disturbed me (I didn't go into his profile). What is the best thing for me here? Delete him? I don't want him to get the wrong impression. Should I tell him before hand? I'm leaning on writing to him and explain a bit that I am taking him off. I would like some advice, please! Thanks all! gee Link to comment
Karen33 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Delete him. Cut all ties and obvious reminders. You're doing great and well done you for ignoring the calls!! That's not an easy thing to do. Keep everything in the day. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Link to comment
gee Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Delete him. Cut all ties and obvious reminders. You're doing great and well done you for ignoring the calls!! That's not an easy thing to do. Keep everything in the day. Let tomorrow worry about itself. So, should I delete him with out telling him? Just cut and dry delete? gee Link to comment
j0shua Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Sounds like we're roughly at the same point. It's been ten months for me, though she's seeing somebody now and doesn't call me at all. Trust me when I say morbid curiosity will only set you back. WAAAAAY BACK. Take it from a man who let his mind get the best of him and found out more than he wanted to yep, about 8 mos out for me too guys. things were just sailing along for a minute, then i get more information than i need and BAM, those rough days roll in. but they get to be less and less, and the good gets a little more often. hang in there. Link to comment
Karen33 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 So, should I delete him with out telling him? Just cut and dry delete? gee Yes. He might not notice you've removed him for some time. But if you tell him you're doing it he'll tell your ex and there is another indirect message to her and it isn't telling her you're moving on, its telling her that she still affects you. And she'd love that! NC means NC and not even contact or messages through someone else! Don't give her the satisfaction. Link to comment
gee Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Yes. He might not notice you've removed him for some time. But if you tell him you're doing it he'll tell your ex and there is another indirect message to her and it isn't telling her you're moving on, its telling her that she still affects you. And she'd love that! NC means NC and not even contact or messages through someone else! Don't give her the satisfaction. This was my main concern..let her think I am still affected by her (I don't want her to know that I am even breathing)! I'm not becoming a jerk or anything like that but enough is enough for me. I think he will notice immediately as he doesn't have many friends on his, but that doesn't matter I guess. gee Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hey gee I would just delete it - don't make a big thing of it. It is just another little thing you can do to aid your healing. Remember, this is all about YOU now - not anyone else and what they think or care. Take care mate. Clabski Link to comment
gee Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Hey gee I would just delete it - don't make a big thing of it. It is just another little thing you can do to aid your healing. Remember, this is all about YOU now - not anyone else and what they think or care. Take care mate. Clabski Thanks Clabski-hahahaha!!! That's original mate...made me laugh! Ok, the jury has spoken! Today I will delete him. Thanks for your help my friends! gee Link to comment
Clabs Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 No worries fella - thought that would get a chuckle out of you! Onwards and upwards! Mark Link to comment
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