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I'm at war with myself...what do I do?


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Yeah I know I've made a few posts in the past couple of days, but it seems the situation I'm in keeps taking a different turn each day.


Basically, I was falling for a "family friend" (who I see maybe once a year) that decided she wanted to hang out with me more often. This past weekend, she drove over an hour to where I live to party with me and my friends (she met a few of them a few weeks ago). Everything went real well, except she got really upset when she couldn't get any sleep AT A PARTY (she made the trip up even though she had work early the next day). A few of my friends and I were being a little too loud by her room, of course when someone had to take blame, I did - I know her the most, meaning it'll be easiest for me to patch things up. After two days however, that hasn't happened yet (then again, I'm not calling her until Wednesday or so).


After I did a bit of thinking and a talk with some of my best friends, I'm not sure if she's worth the risk. Yes, she is a great girl - we have great chemistry and have fun, but as one of my friends said, "You lose more than you gain with this risk, if you go for it." I live an hour away from her, we go to different colleges, it would be tough for any relationship to work right away. If it helps, I think this friend, who is actually quite good with the ladies, had a similar thing happen to him, and doesn't want to see it happen again.


The mixed signals are certainly there - she insisted on coming to this small party even though she lives an hour away and had work early the next day (and we've never hung out aside from families meeting before), and at the party she mentioned how I promised we could be beer pong partners, but partnered with a friend of mine because she was elsewhere for awhile. However, I am horrific at reading signals, I jump into things too quickly, thus these situations turn into disasters if I act too quickly. I can't say she is definitely into me at all, because there's no way I can or can't tell.


So here's the dilemma...do I just rid myself of the attraction and be "just friends?" If so, HOW COULD I DO IT? I'm sure it can be done, as we've known each other for a while and get along pretty well. If I were to make a move and get turned down, there may be a little tension between my family and hers (it may be awkward between her and I). On the other end, my heart right now does want her. If she were to hook up with, say, one of my friends, I'd be jealous at this point. And, as my friend said, losing her completely is much worse than being "only" riends with her.


Bottom line: In a perfect world, would I want to date her? Yes. Is it the best thing right now - as I have some sort of feelings for her, but we go to different colleges and she doesn't live right around the corner from me? I'm not sure.

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Always more fish in the sea. I know its hard to look at other women when you are attracted to just one woman but sometimes you have to really try hard to forget and move on.


In this case, thats exactly what I advise.

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You're probably right. Once I'm back at school, this should all go away. For now though, I need to sort this all out.


I think what's really on my mind is that I can't stand to see her upset. It's not even because of any feelings I may have towards her - I've known her for a while, and I don't want to lose her even as a friend because of one tiny thing (that's not really anyone's fault, but she's taking it out on me).


I'd still like to hang out with her more this summer, we normally get along real well. However, that can only happen once we're both over the issue; I am, but I'm not sure about her.

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