situation

[IfYouWereMe]

Okay so here is the deal I have been married for almost 7 years, and there have been a few times that my husband has gone psycho on me. The psycho part I basically mean that I am going to meet one of my male friends (who is happily married, that I went to college with),and my husband starts going bonkers because he wants to know what is taking so long.

 

So here's the deal: I left about shortly after 8 PM, and I get to the coffee place where I'm meeting up with my male friend, and my male friend then asks me if I want to go to a movie and then for drinks. The coffee part was planned, but the other two were not. This male friend of my I don't get to see very much maybe once every two to three weeks. So I told my male friend that I would go with him to a movie and for drinks because I did not think it was that big of a deal. So around 9 PM, my husband goes into this jealous rage and gets all pissed because he said I disappeared, and that I did not have the decency to call him and tell him that my plans had changed, so I told my husband what we were doing and then he gets even more pissed. I got a message from my husband around 11 PM saying good luck on getting back into the house because I've deadbolted all the doors. Security measures that you can only do from inside the house. Needless to say when I got home I tried to get into the house and I couldn't! My husband had locked me completely out, so I then had to go over to one of my other friends and stay the night there because I could not get into my own house.

 

Does anyone have any great advice or suggestions?

[Scorpion Fury]

You should have told him ahead of time, but that doesn't excuse his behavior.

 

You're off with a male friend for hours on end. You said you were meeting for coffee, and suddenly that turned into a movie and drinks? Not cool.

 

However, he acted like a baby. I don't even know what advice to give you. What happened after? Are you on speaking terms now?

[fastball2113]

Are you so naive that you don't see how shady it looks that you met up with a male "friend" from college for coffee, and come home hours later?

 

Your husband was not thinking rationally, but he was right to be irrational.

[angelclaw]

Sorry, but husband>male friends. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from friends of the opposite sex if they make your man fly into a jealous rage. It's just not worth it. How would you feel if he did the same thing to you with a female friend? It's not psycho, it's human nature.

[HeartGoesOn]

If meeting him was only for coffee, why didn't you invite him over to your house, where he could meet your husband?

[dreamwarrior]

I think your husband was justified in his feelings. Why do you feel the need to hang out with another guy when both of you are married?? If you want to see your male friend...then why don't you and your husband go out with this other couple, have a barbecue or something where your spouses can be involved....what you did was very disrespectful.

 

There are a few situations where it would be acceptable for a married woman to be with another man and one of those times are if it's a business meeting, interview, or something pertaining to those types of situations.

 

You wanted advice and suggestions so I am giving them to you. Be very careful what you do, because before to long you may be the one to lose in the long run if your husband decides that two can play that game.

 

Hang out with your husband not a married man!

 

I am by no means the jealous type, but if I found out my husband was going out with another female on what most consider a date (movie and a drink) it would be the last time. Anyway, what could you both possibly have that is so important to talk about that you couldn't converse on e-mail or phone?

 

I believe in saying the truth, and I would hate to see you on here crying because your husband left you.

 

How does your husband treat you?

Are you happy being married?

 

Please take care and good luck

[tangi39]

I don't think he should have locked you out.

 

However, I do not blame him for being extremely upset.

 

You really should have called if your plans changed. Especially considering you were out with a male friend alone. I'd be furious if my husband did that with another female, married or not. If I thought he was going for coffee then came home many hours later. I'd be suspicious too.

 

I think people can be friends, I even think they can hang out alone together BUT your spouse should know 100 % what you are doing and where you are going. Nothing should be kept from them. Not to keep tabs or because they shouldn't trust you, but because you have to show you can be trusted. And it shows courtesy and respect. When you are married, it is essential that you show your spouse that they come first, before friends or anyone else.

 

I think first you should apologize. Then you should promise that in the future you will call if plans change. You need to tell him that you understand why he was upset but that you think he overreacted by locking you out.

Reassure him he's the only man for you and reach a compromise.

[TechResQ]

I tend to agree with the others here. Your husband probably went through a whole barrage of emotions, worry, fear, jealousy, anger, hurt...not knowing where you were or why you were still out with this other guy.

 

I am not trying to hurt your feelings, but you really should have been more respectful of his feelings and let him know your plans had changed. Sorry.

 

Let us know how things are going.

 

Good luck and God Bless.

 

p.s. Just wondering if your friend called his wife or if his wife was angry as well???