Low self esteem

[notanexpert1]

hi

 

For quite a while now after talking to my dad on the phone (he works away) I always feel low & a complete loser of the things he says. On one hand we r close but he's put big pressure on me.

 

Am in my early twenties, been to uni & use to work 50-60 a week after graduating for a year and a half. I loved the work to begin with. I quit to Pursue other career opportunties that am looking to train or for as I was no longer happy.

 

I use to have some issues with my mental health. Anxiety and a bit of paranoia. Although no diagnosis was ever made it was treated as a mild phychosis and just plain anxiety. I am a lot better now after therapy/anti depressants and consider myself as cured.

 

Everytime am on the phone he implies am lazy, bone idle and am not good enough for what am pursuing. When I went away with him I helped jim with his work and before onthe phone he said I didn't do anything. He tells all his friends at home that am this layabout and they all make fun of me. Even his girlfriend who has claimed benefits for years of diasability makes fun.

 

When I try and laughed at or dismissed or told what a crap job I did.

 

When he says these or his friends I put up with it. Put my head down and disappear angry and upset.

 

I wanted to tell him that because of the years of bullying my brother put me through and he did nothing about it it was his fault I got the anxiety/depression/ mild phychosis. I wanted to tell him he is a * * * * dad - but

he isn't. I wanted to punch him but I knew he would fight back.

 

How can I make him stop? He's also trying to get me pursue other careers I dont want.

[notanexpert1]

Sorry when I said his girlfriend has claimed disability for years I do not mean to offend anybody. Quite rightly a system that looks after disabled people or to get them in work is good. ***sorry***

[Seraphim]

When he starts to be insulting you could say I will talk to you when you want to be more respectful and hang up the phone or walk away.

[monkey123]

Its your life, you can take control of it and u can do what you want to do. U said u were working 50-60 hours a week yet ur dad calls u lazy. It doesnt sound like your lazy at all, u said u enjoyed work at first but quit to pursue other things. If you find something that YOU want to do u CAN enjoy then you can be happy and successful despite what anybody tells you, even your father. My dad has been pushing me to be an engineer my whole life and i told him im sorry dad but i really dont want to be an engineer. He was pissed off but im going to prove to him that I can be successful in whatever career i choose to pursue. Just find out what you want to do, put ur chin up and do it and prove him wrong if he doubts you.

[monkey123]

im sure its hard as hell when ur dad says and does that stuff but just dont let it get to you man, im sure ur dad has a some issues if he is such a * * * * sometimes but just dont pay attention to it, you know urself better than he knows you.