for those who've cheated

[isittolate]

Just out of curiosity for those who've cheated... how did you feel about the person you were cheating with? Did you like them, did they occupy your down time, were they merely a fling, did u fall for them? Could u really create a relationship with no strings attatched? Please share.

[Loki71]

The one time I did cheat on a gf the other woman was just an ends to a means. I really didn't care about her I just wanted to have fun and she was willing. At the time a no strings relationship was very easy as I didn't care about anyone not even the gf I was with. I have since grown up and matured some so I couldn't do that now but back then no problem.

[a_lifters_life]

The one time I did cheat on a gf the other woman was just an ends to a means. I really didn't care about her I just wanted to have fun and she was willing. At the time a no strings relationship was very easy as I didn't care about anyone not even the gf I was with. I have since grown up and matured some so I couldn't do that now but back then no problem.

 

Hmm out of curiosity how old were you ? I believe in dedicating myself to one person ... at age 19 . I would end it early, rather than cheat. That's just immature and hurtful.

[Loki71]

Hmm out of curiosity how old were you ? I believe in dedicating myself to one person ... at age 19 . I would end it early, rather than cheat. That's just immature and hurtful.

 

 

I was like 15. But when I was younger I didn't care about anyone, a GF was just there because. If I lost her I knew there would be another so it was no big deal to me at the time. By the time I was 19 I started to care and was growing out of it.

[a_lifters_life]

I was like 15. But when I was younger I didn't care about anyone, a GF was just there because. If I lost her I knew there would be another so it was no big deal to me at the time. By the time I was 19 I started to care and was growing out of it.

 

Haha alrighty then, I think I probably followed similiar paths from age 14 to 19 so I guess it isnt that far off

[SchecterGuy]

Did it once. Relationship was on the skids anyway and she threw herself on me. At that point I did not care.

[curiousofthat]

I was with another girl. She came after me. I gave in. I think I did it because I was flattered she wanted me. I am bi sexual and my desire to be with a girl again got the best of me. I regret it, feel bad about it. I have learned from it. Would never do it again. I now focus my attention to the person who deserves it. He is now my #1. I see now that my "innocent" flirting wasn't so innocent and could only lead to trouble. I have grown from the mistake I made. No one deserves to be cheated on. I will not be that person again.

[xRoh]

I cheated on my ex once at the beginning of our relationship. I was not in love with him yet at that point and it was difficult changing my lifestyle then (I slept around alot before we got together - not something I'm too proud of). I admitted to it straight away and he stayed with me, but boy have I paid.

[dreams123]

a fling that had fallen too deep...a lesson learned.

 

i would think cheating to occupy downtime is unimaginable but cheating happens because sometimes, we can't help who we like & fall in love with even if its wrong & hurtful.

[unabashed]

I cheated at the end of a long, some times difficult marriage. At the time, I justified it, saying we were separating anyway. In fact, it was a horrible thing to do. It made the separation much more painful and quick. I caused him a lot of pain and heartache. I think, in retrospect, that it was easier than facing up to the issues at hand between us. We would still have separated and been divorced, but it might have spared some negativity between us. I am left with guilt and sadness, four years later. We are not the friends we might have been, and this is probably why. I see the choices he makes in life and wonder if he seems so confused and unsettled because of what happened, and I wish I could take it back. Other people have said that what I did is understandable, but I really disagree. I can't figure out how to take responsibility for what I did without all the guilt and sadness.

 

I have friends right now who are going through the same thing, in some ways. I want to say to one of them, who is clearly cheating (and denying it) that you can't hide from the truth, and you won't get over the pain you caused just so you could avoid another kind of pain. Truth doesn't work that way.

[todaysbird]

when i cheated.... i thought i had fallen for the one with whom i cheated on my ex (whoa... is that gramatically correct? whatever).... but it turned out it was just lust... pure unbridled lust... and our sexual encounter was due to trying to ignore months of sexual tension during which we became close friends. basically... i ruined the one good relationship ive ever been in...

 

and wasted six months of my life with the other guy. i guess you cant say i wasted that time... we had good times... but an equal amount of bad... and im still messed up over its end. but i learned..... the hard way, the lessons i had to learn.

 

i stuck with the other guy for that long because i desperately wanted it to work out... probably to justify why i cheated... and also because i did have genuine feelings for him... but in a way i was just projecting my feelings from my previous relationship onto him.

 

 

i thought i was going to marry the first guy... i really did. and yes im 19... but he was my first love, my first everything... and he'll always have a place in my heart. but i was too young for that commitment... and consumed by curiosity and a fear of regret of never being with somebody else.

 

its no excuse... but we're human. im still trying to come to terms with what i did. i'm consumed by guilt and regret.... and i always wonder what if...

 

 

im so scared of the baggage im going to have when i finally do meet the man i end up with!!

 

 

 

so in short... dont cheat. it really can f uck you up.

[KISSKISS]

so i recently cheated- been with my boyfriend for 5 years.

had a crush on the other guy for 2 years- he feels the same about me.

we went to school together, we're friends, blah blah blah.

we've had sex twice.. and the first time i regretted it, but then i didn't really feel that terrible about it.. and this second time, which happened a few days ago, i don't have any bad feelings about.

i know i should because i love my boyfriend to death.

but i think the reason i don't havea problem with it like i should is because my boyfriend is leavign for college in about 2 weeks and idk... i'm not sure where we're going.

plus i've liked this other guy for so long it just seemed... okay.

 

thought i'd give you some background info before i answered your questions.

how do/did i fell about him- i like him and i think he's a good friend of mine as well.

he's secretly occupied some down time... only twice was it sexual downtime.

did you fall for them- i haven't fallen for him.

relationship with no string- seems like i could, but i don't think it'd happen.

 

 

curious as to why you're asking these questions...

[Catdancer]

I will direct you to read my threads if you want to know how cheating goes. I am 34, he's 36. He was in a 17 relationship that was not doing well. She cheated on him and he cheated on her repetively over the years, both seeking something missing in their relationship. I was with someone but we had pretty much just became friends. I did not love him anymore and found my current bf.

 

My bf and I have been together for about a year and 8 months now, we live together and we're expecting a baby.

 

We've had some horrible times...again see my past posts....and his family hates me. So here we are!

[Rhett]

I have cheated and did not give that question any thought....it has resently ended and I now feel a huge lose/ void.

[jengh]

I haven't cheated in the relationship I'm in now and don't intend to

 

However, I've been bad about it in the past. I almost always cheated on the boyfriend-at-the-time with an ex. One ex in particular that I couldn't seem to let go (though, I eventually did a couple of years ago)

[Rose21]

Cheating is something that totaly disgusts me.

 

Anyone that could bring themselves to do it isn't truly in love, and should do the other person a favor and let them go before someone gets hurt.

 

My boyfriend is going off to college, I wont see him for 5 weeks. I miss him terribly but you know what? I value myself on being a moralistic individual and would never even think to cheat.

 

I mean every now and then I have thoughts about ending it or what it would be like to be with someone else, and just that thought is enough to bring me to tears. I am a very insecure person, and I doubt alot. Something I'm working on is being more positive. But if its one thing I know I'm good at, its my willpower. I haven't once touched a drug, cigerette, been drunk, and certaintly not cheated. I love my boyfriend and know he would never cheat on me. Thats how he is brought up, and I know the type of person he is. Just like me. Do you know how much will power it takes to have gone to a rave for a year every weekend, and not once even been TEMPTED to touch a drug because I want to go into the FBI?

 

People that cheat infuriate me. It seems more like a complex they have, like they just want to be flattered by others and bask and the light of admiration and have their egos stroked.

 

I'm a writer, so I could write on this topic all day.

 

Fact of the matter is, everyone has thoughts like these at times. But the thing to do is to keep them as ONLY thoughts, if that.

 

I know my boyfriend is the one for me. I havent slept with that many guys at all, my boyfriend would be the 2nd and I plan to make him my last. And I fall hard and fast, and have dated many. But not once was I ever sure that a guy was THE one, or that I could seriously see myself with them for the rest of my life.

 

I can now. My boyfriend has made me a better person, and I truly thank him for it. Even distance my boyfriend has made me a better person. None of my close friends would ever cheat on their SO, including my friends that will be away from their bfs for 15 months.

 

Why is this? Because I choose to do the right things in life, follow the best path I can, and make the best aquaintances and friends around. Ones that have the same goals as I, or can better me to br someone stronger.

 

My advice, is when faced with adversity, overcome it. Think of it like an trial placed infront of you, to see how far you will get in life. Fail it, and the cowardice shows and your thrown into the pit of mercy. It's fates destiny to decide what happens to you know. What goes around comes around. Overcome it, and you can pat yourself on the back. The world has much more to offer you, and you will gain more as a couple and an individual.

 

Cheating is NEVER okay, under any circumstance.

 

Case closed. All of this talk has left a wretched taste in my mouth, the taste of infidelity. Its a sin.

 

My rant helped however, though...

[Rose21]

And Kiss Kiss, I am truly abhored that just a few days ago you were saying how much you "truly" missed your boyfriend but you loved him and you'd stay by his side. And then you go off and cheat a few days later, completely contradicting yourself and even have the nerve to shrug it off.

 

Congradulations, you have just ruined a 5 year relationship. What could of BEEN the love of your life, will just be another ex. Just another lover lost, except one that was betrayed and scorned. One never to exchange a loving glace in your direction again.

 

I hope you think this over, and actually realize what a flesh crime you have commited.

 

Your young, so I don't expect you to understand.

 

I may be young too, but I'm wise beyond my years, and I've learned and grown alot over the years. Wisdom does not come in years, but in the way we use it and carry ourselves through the walk of life.

 

What truly makes us unique individuals is our abilities to adapt to different situations, how life shapes us, and our morals and goals.

 

What you have proven, is that you have sunken to the ultimate low. Just like all the other cheating scum.

 

Have a great life. And remember, Karma is a * * * * * =)

[xItalianxPrincessx]

the guy im currently with ive been with now for over 4 yrs. im only 21 and before this relationship i was in one fron 14-17. i cheated on my current boyfriend with my ex, stupidly. when i first met my current bf i didnt think it was going to amount to anything. after a few months y ex started calling me and i just started talking to him, which led to hanging out which led to me juggling both guys for a couple months. my current bf found out by hearing me on the phone with my ex in his bathroom when i thought he was downstairs. he actually found out twice about me still seeing my ex, (the second time my ex had taken his number out of my phone and called him and started talking crap) but the first time my current bf was so upset but i told him i wouldnt see my ex anymore. then i stupidly continued to talk to my ex and he made me feel like i shouldve been with him, but i also had a growing affection for my current bf when i wasnt talking to or with the ex. the second time my bf found out i was cheating he started bawling and cried so hard. this broke my heart and i realized then it was time to stay with him, love him how he loved me and stop talking to my ex cuz now all he was doing was causing drama and he was getting on my last nerve anyway. the more i saw him (which was only when my current bf had plans with his friends which wasnt very often) the more i saw him the more i started to think i was over him and it took for him to call my current bf for me to realize it was done. for the first like 2 plus yrs my bf always always talked crap about me cheating on him and would just freak out outta nowhere. but now things are great!!! weve come a very very long way since then and we have talked about marriage when were a lil older and ready and i no hes who i want to be with. hes accepted so many screw ups ive done since ive been with him and i accept him for any flaws he has in his life. i dont no if uve cheated or been cheated on, but no that if the person really loves you theyll work it out with you and want the best for you.

[Rose21]

Wow whats wrong with you people?

 

I don't think either of you are fit to be in relationships.

 

any guy would be stupid to take someone back after that.

 

Seriously, grow up and get your crap together before you devote yourself to someone.

[sasha1982]

I cheated at the end of my long term of 5 years.

I was 24 and immature.. got bored in my relationship that wasn't ready for marriage.

The guy I cheated with, I met him online.. I actually started going on sites just out of curiosity and this guy and I had alot of amazing conversations.. After a month we met and I wasn't really that attracted to him at first, but I was drawn to his intelligence.. After hanging out for a month or so- we got physical, just kissing and other stuff.. It was INSTANT chemistry... I remember not having that kind of chemistry with my boyfriend. I learnt sexual things about myself I never had done before.. but I refused to have sex (I still didn't have the balls to get out of my relationship) although we were living apart and we both knew I wasn't happy.

 

We broke up, and the weekend later we finally had sex.. It was awesome, we remained FWB.. for about 8 months then I met someone else. (now my fiance).

My boyfriend at the time was better looking, a better marriage material, a great person... But sexually/chemistry wise something was lacking. That I eventually found in the person I cheated with and even more so in my fiance I have now.

[mrmaximum]

the guy im currently with ive been with now for over 4 yrs.... i dont no if uve cheated or been cheated on, but no that if the person really loves you theyll work it out with you and want the best for you.

 

But your blanket statement doesn't quite cover all people. One thing that I will add is that if you haven't been cheated on, you have no idea what kind of pain it causes. Sometimes love isn't enough, no matter what is said and done afterward. I have a buddy who is seeing a woman who broke up with her hubby of quite a few years because of cheating. She gave her ex a list three or four pages long of nearly impossible things to accomomplish to regain her trust. HE DID ALL OF THEM!! Still, she couldn't get what happened out of her memory (he too cheated on her with his ex) and had no choice but to end the relationship.

 

I wouldn't go as far as to say that she didn't love him so that is why it didn't work out, but it has to be understood that how much cheating devastates(sp?) a person, or even a family. It's sometimes the very idea that this person DID love us but was able to do something so painful to us regardless that makes people lose all interest in the relationship. Sometimes the process is so quick and complete that the very idea of loving them is now an impossiblity like a human being running at the speed of light as soon as the act has been revealed. I'll put it bluntly; although I'm glad that you and your bf worked things out, just because you did doesn't mean that others simply didn't love each other enough. There are many guys (and women in a reciprocal sitch) who wouldn't have given anyone a second chance, much less a third.

 

Count your blessings is all, you've got a third chance.

[Rose21]

Please. Age doesn't have anything to do with maturity, it has to do with the person.

 

Both me and my boyfriend are 19 and know we are made for eachother. He had just had 3 casual gfs before me and had never even gone past kissing before he met me. I had quite a few boyfriends before him, 2 semi-serious, and had slept with one man before. But we hit it off instantly, and the chemistry we share is unlike anything else I have ever felt. Even being without him for 5 weeks, I can still feel him like he is right beside me.

 

We both know what we want. When I was with guys before, I didn't really have much of an idea. It was more of a dependency thing, and I just wanted someone to care for me. Even though I knew it wouldn't be long term and I certaintly couldn't see myself with any of them for the rest of my life.

 

I can with my boyfriend now. Whenever I'm feeling down or doubting, I look at the gorgeous diamond and sapphire ring he got me, and he looks at his, and I feel better. Hanging out with friends has also helped.

 

I don't want to get married until I'm atleast 25 and out of college, and I dont want kids. If I have any it will be one, and not until I'm 30 at the earliest. I want to be able to do what I want out of life first, travel etc. I have a pretty good idea what I want out of life, and I will fight to keep that.

 

The bond and connection me and my boyfriend share, it makes us both feel that we could seriously be with eachother for the rest of out lives. And I plan to keep it that way.

 

I don't know how all of you could of cheated so carelessly. I have ALOT of friends. 2 of my friends have been cheated on, and NONE of them have ever cheated. I surround myself with good people and good settings.

 

I'm a very feeling oriented person. If i get the wrong vibe in a place or around a person, I will leave if possible. There are certain friends that I get an extra special vibe around too, where I just feel peaceful. And others where I like alot, but it just seems like something to sufice my boredom, and is an off kind of feeling at times.

 

And when I'm with my boyfriend, or even away from him, I feel like I can do anything.

[KISSKISS]

suck it. =]

[Rose21]

Yeah, whatever. You've ruined your relationship.

[KISSKISS]

Yeah, whatever. You've ruined your relationship.

 

you don't know anything.

annoy someone else.