bfla Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Allow me to apologize in advance for posting so much, but ENA is kind of my anti-drug right now. Heh... So from my previous threads, y'all know Rachel is on the rebound. She has set all her statuses to In A Relationship as of last Wednesday (right after Rebound BF's birthday.) But of course - they were dating for several weeks before that. Essentially she met him online a week and a half after we broke up - and the day after we met up one last time to talk. As is predictable and oft-discussed on ENA, it is very difficult to see her online persona right now. She is posting just gorgeous pictures of her going out on the town, identifying her status as "is such a lucky girl" and etc. Part of me wants to think this is her, being her age, and trying to push herself to move on and get deep into this new relationship. I feel a lot of indications here based on her personality. She has RUSHED in emotionally, sexually, etc. given her past (she tends to be very sexually conservative...we did not have sex until we had been dating almost 3-4 months but she was younger then). I don't find myself ready to delete her from online accounts. I am not in denial, mine all say single (well, facebook is blank). But she is still my "top friend" on myspace and there is a situational picture of us playing air hockey together as my picture. She checks my myspace every 2 or 3 days and so I know she sees that. Conversely, she's no schmuck and knows I know she is "IAR." So there's no reason to try LC or anything like that at this moment. I guess my point in all this....I've had a lonely Sunday without friends or company, and I spent a good portion of these hours reading old threads hundreds of pages back in GTA. (I'm on page 223.. but I'm not reading every thread lol) There is what I would consider to be a frighteningly large number of testimonials about rebounds working out...becoming engaged...getting married, etc. So then - why are we always so quick to dismiss the rebound? I don't mean to say that they often/usually/mostly don't work out, but damn am I scared out of my mind right now. Rachel's 20.999 years old and probably not getting engaged anytime soon. Hell, I had a few friends in college that were engaged and then single a while after. But in the midst of our NC, and our decade+ history notwithstanding, I'm still ready to drop anything and do anything at her command. Part of me thinks that's noble and chivalrous. The other part of me thinks I'm an idiot. On ENA, I have noticed an interesting rift/hypocrisy regarding the rebounds. Both of these sort of statements tend to appear immediately in any discussion involving an ex with a new relationship, when we still want to Get Back Together: "She has moved on so you better start doing it too" and "Rebounds are a distraction and eventually they will have to deal with the pain of their feelings for you etc. etc." i.e. not "moving on" I guess my question is this: Aren't these ideas the complete opposite?? and yet they both appear in nearly every discussion of an ex with someone new. "Well she has a new guy." "Hmm better start moving on then, she is" "But its a rebound" etc, etc, full circle. Link to comment
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