Feel Really Guilty

[Debbie37]

Hi everyone, I could really use some advice/justification here.

 

My parents and sister have gone away for a week. They rented a place on an island, and are staying there now.

 

They want me to come over and join them for the vacation, but I don't want to.

 

I feel really guilty that I'm not coming with them, because I know they would like me to come. I especially feel bad that my little sister will be there alone, without anyone her own age.

 

I just turned 19 years old. Family vacations have often gone very bad in the past, with constant screaming and fights. My family is more relaxed now than we have been in the past, but I have some bad memories about being on vacation with my family.

 

It would be more than a days trip, plus I would have to spend a night in transit. I would have to switch shifts at work, and put off some things I need to do.

 

Most of all though, I just don't want to go.

 

Would I be a bad person for staying in the city?

[Seraphim]

There is no need to feel guilty.You are almost an adult. If you re working and have plans then stick to them. Just tell them you have to work and you do not really want to go. NO need to say why. And it is up to your parents to entertain your sister not you.

[Debbie37]

Thanks Victoria, I know that its not up to me to entertain my sister (but its good to hear it all the same)

 

I have always felt very responsible for my sister though. She can look after herself now though, she's 15.

 

And due to so many pretty awful family vacations in the past, I guess I should feel entitled to give this one a miss.

[lila...]

I don't think you'd be a bad person for staying. Do you think if you go there's a possibility of getting into family fights like in the past? Even if that's not the case, it looks like you have your hands full already so just tell your parents in a nice manner that you'd rather stay for "x" and "y" reason.

[Seraphim]

Yeah a lot of mine were nasty too..I never went with my parents anywhere after 17,

[Clementine orange]

Everyone needs some time away from the 'rents. Make up for it by having dinner on the table when they come home.

[A World Away]

Totally don't feel guilty. You are not at all a bad person for staying in the city. You're 19 now, and able to make your own decisions. If you don't want to go, you don't have to go. My brother stopped going on family holidays when he was 18. I survived! And I was in exactly the same situation as your sister. So i'm sure she'll be fine too. It's natural for your family to want you there, but at your age, it's also natural to want to do your own thing.