shygirl1212 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Hello again, Before you read this, I have to warn you that this may not make sense. My head feels like a big bowl of jumbled up spaghetti and I am dazed and confused...it doesn't even make any sense to me but thank you for reading it... It's been about 2 1/2 months since I ended my 8 year relationship. I come to you again for advice/help please. For those of you who don't know the details here is a rundown: I loved him dearly (and still do). I did everything for him. I encouraged him to finish school, helped him get a good job and establish a life for himself. I thought for a while that we were on the same page. We wanted to get married and build a life together. I thought we would be forever. Things started "popping" up in the relationship. I found him being dishonest, and telling me 1/2 truths. During one of our "rough" patches in the relationship (we were still together and intimate) he went on an internet dating site and talked to various women - what else happened I have no idea. He never told me about this but I found out on my own - when I confronted him about it, his response was "you made me go on the site and it isn't a big deal anyways" - not a "I'm sorry I hurt you". (I only discovered THIS 3 years after it actually happened - when i found his profile online, where he also had an "intimate/sexual" profile my heart was broken into a gazillion pieces and things started to change in our relationship). Then there were other things - his irresponsibility, immaturity and lack of ambition. He wouldn't pay his bills on time, some of his bills went into collection and soon enough he ended up with bad credit and debt collectors after him. Of course he NEVER told me any of us - I had to find out myself. I thought I would ride it out, allow him time to talk to me about it, after all this was the man who said he wanted to marry me and have children with me. This talk never came. So okay it's not a big deal - I'll ride it out until he gets his life on track...well this never happened either...months and months went by and he didn't "change". There were other things too - he would blame me for anything and everything that went wrong in the relationship - he never felt he had to apologize and blamed everything on me. So why am I hear saying that I'm lost if all of these things above are true and I was the dumper - well I don't know....I'm still madly in love with him and feel very down. Despite all of this, we had a crazy connection and chemistry. We had some wonderful, amazing times and I don't think I can have that with someone else. So I want to know: did I make a mistake? was I too picky with him? Thank you for reading this post. Link to comment
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