violingirl Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 During my last relationship, I read a book by Suzanne Schlossberg called "The Curse of the Singles Table: A True Story of 1001 Nights Without Sex." At the time, I thought the book was funny and thought that I would never end up in that kind of situation. After all, I was having plenty of mindblowing sex with my (now ex) boyfriend at the time. Now, 3 1/2 years after my ex dumped me, I am in that exact situation. Even though I am in my prime and have put myself out there a lot since the breakup (I've gone on unsuccessful dates with over 40 guys since the breakup), I am embarrassed to admit that I haven't had sex for 2 years and 9 months now (the last time being a very unsatisfying one-night stand with a guy I met off an online dating site in November 2005). None, zilch, nada (and I am not counting my battery-operated friend). And I am a very sexual person. I love sex. I miss sex. I crave sex. While I don't regret doing the one-night stand thing a couple of times after the breakup, I found it ultimately unsatisfying, because I felt nothing for those guys (and it didn't help that one of the guys was just very bad in bed). I even have had several opportunities to sleep with my ex-ex-boyfriend in the past couple of years, but I just don't feel attracted to him anymore, so I can never make myself go down that road. So, I find myself in a position where I have been holding out for a real relationship, but I have zero prospects and 100% sexual frustration. My desire to have sex has gotten so bad that in the past week I have had several sex dreams involving: a guy from the BBC show "Top Gear" who I find attractive; a married partner from my law firm who is attractive but who I never thought about in that way before; and my ex-boyfriend (not really a sex dream, per se, but a dream that we got back together). I frankly don't know what to do. Clearly, I want (and need) to have sex, but I have no prospects. Should I continue holding out for a real connection with someone, which, considering my track record, will probably never happen? Or should I find a guy to have a one-night stand with just to satisfy my sexual cravings, even though it may not be very satisfying (no emotional connection; no feelings, etc.)? Mind you, I really wish that I were a normal person who could find a real relationship. It's just that I am beyond frustrated at this point. Link to comment
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