LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Hello all, I've posted about this man on this forum before. This is the man who asked me out on a coffee date. We met on a dating site. Didn't offer me anything. Said twice during the date "if nothing else, we can atleast become friends, go to movies, hang out, stuff like that." He walked me to the car and asked for a hug. I didn't hug as I thought that was the end of it (since he mentioned being friends). He contacted me on the dating site 3 days after our so called 1st date, he wrote "we can hang out as friends, this is my email ID. this match will be closed soon so stay in touch." I wrote to his email ID saying "okay, you've made it clear that you want to be just friends but i've a busy schedule so good luck" he wrote "I enjoyed our conversation, atleast drop a line, or call sometime just to say hi" I wrote back "fine, emailing works for me" I thought the match would be closed. Its been a month now he still hasn't closed the match. What do I understand from this? I feel bad 1) that the guy didn't offer me coffee when actually he asked me out (is it b'coz he was trying to say that there is no dating hence forth or just that he is a jerk?) 2)he asked to be friends. I've no intention of being friends with him. Its been a month since our meeting. There has been no contact from his/my side so far. What should I do? Should I close the match or leave it open? I mean, leaving it open is like draggin it. IMO, if he were really interested, he should have emailed again, asked out again, something. He doesn't have my phone no. When he asked, I said, "I prefer to wait a few more dates." but he could atleast email. I'm thinking of closing the match. what should I do? I like the guy but I'm confused about what he feels (or doesn't feel). Sorry for the long post but I need some help. Thank you for your input. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 One is supposed to "close matches"? That's news to me. I just left them open even if I wasn't interested. Am I a jerk? Anyway, this guy sounds kinda flakey - I'm mean "let's be friends" what's up with that? And who asks for a hug (especially from someone they just met) - either it's a moment or it's not...no asking required. Best case scenario - this guy is a total amatuer at dating and has no idea what he's doing. Link to comment
jul-els Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Close the match and move on. Not worth your time. Plenty of other fish in the sea. My 2 cents. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 After reading that, I'm also confused. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 One is supposed to "close matches"? That's news to me. I just left them open even if I wasn't interested. Am I a jerk? on EH, I've closed matches when I knew that I was clearly not interested. Why leave someone hanging. Some people also close matches when they have started to communicate outside EH. No need to just leave a match open when you have the person's phone no, email ID, have met them/are dating etc. right? If a guy doesn't close the match and there is no communication goign on, I'd consider that strange. I mean either you are interested/you are not. Why bother leaving a match open and give the other person a false hope? I've had men not close the match and not communicate with me for 2-3 months. I was very new to EH then. I hope I've learned my lesson. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Close the match and move on. Not worth your time. Plenty of other fish in the sea. My 2 cents. makes sense to me. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Anyway, this guy sounds kinda flakey - I'm mean "let's be friends" what's up with that? My girl friends said "Some people have a habit of doing loud thinking or saying whatever is on their mind. May be he is not skilled enough to not say such a thing. He said "if nothing else, we can atleast be friends" that threw me off. Dude, 15-20 min into the date you are already thinking like this, what signals does it send? And who asks for a hug (especially from someone they just met) - either it's a moment or it's not...no asking required. he didn't ask "Can you hug me?/Can I hug you?" He said "Give me a hug" and opened his arms. I was not even looking at him then. I was looking at my car. (How dumb of me. Even I'm super new to dating. This was my 1st ever date with a non-asian man. I'm asian. He is white.) Best case scenario - this guy is a total amatuer at dating and has no idea what he's doing He said he is a geek. Seemed like a quiet man as well. Don't know if he is experienced in dating field or not. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 After reading that, I'm also confused. thanx... that helps Link to comment
May_It_Be Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I agree. This man is annoying. Just reading your account of him has left me annoyed. Close it, move on, forget it, and save yourself a lot of time and effort. Link to comment
May_It_Be Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 He said he is a geek. Seemed like a quiet man as well. Don't know if he is experienced in dating field or not. Uh, yeah, my guess is not experienced. Just a wild assumption on my part. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 hello all, Thank you for your input. I closed the match today. I mean seeing it open everyday n not knowing what to do with it was really disturbing for me. I wrote him a message and finally closed it. I've been feeling that I'm too considerate of people's emotions while they are not as considerate. Link to comment
cpujunkie Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I vote to close and move on. No need for you to even think about it. Link to comment
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