looking for some opinions and advice

[xxmacbethxx]

this is what i got

 

 

 

me and my gf well ex gf now have been dating for about 1 year 8 months

and well she started hanging around this guy alot and i knew he liked her i warned her about him and stuff, i was not to concerned because i trust her. well eventually the guy kisses her she says she pulled away i believe her she has never lied before, but she says she think she might have started to have feelings for him, but she would never consider to date him ( hes kinda a sleezbag all her girl friends even agree with that) so im not to worried about that i forgave her and told her i love her and all that fun.

 

i did not dump her but she says she doesn't know what to do, we are going through hard times right now moving to colleges and stuff, going to meet new people but we will actually life closer to each other when we do move then we are now.

 

she says she needs room to figure things out, and that she isn't sure she wants to be in a relationship and she doesnt want the extra stress right now, there is alot of things going on in both are lifes causing stress, i always wanted are relationship to be stress free and it seemed it was because though we loved each other so much we always kept it simple not talking about were we saw are selfs together and stuff, back to the point. I don't think she forgives herself for what happened and maybe even she is afraid that things might happen again, i really trust that it wouldn't she is a smart girl and learns fast i think she is hurting from it more then me. She also says that she isnt sure what she wants, this whole situation is scrambling things up.

 

well she did dump me but we are still friends we have been broken up for 12 days, but we are still close and every thing still talk a lot but this is really taking its toll on me

i honestly think that she is my special some one( i know we havnt been together long but i have always been told you just know) and i cant imagine rest my life with out her. she tells me she loves me she still tells me she miss's me but all this has cut back a lot

 

i have been thinking about this no contact thing i even sayed i was going to do it once but it seemed wrong, part of me wants to and part of me wants to help her because i know she is upset to.

I know that all her friends say she has never been happier then when she is with me, and i feel the same way i know that i could never make any one happier or have any one make me feel the way she makes me feel.

 

in all honestly sometimes when i hold her the world becomes a blur and all i can feel is our hearts beating.

 

so any advice is welcomed i want her back so bad, im thinking about trying no contact

it just so hard and i love her so much, i have been in longer relationships and dint love them this much,

 

 

PLZZZZ HELP

[giggle3474]

this is what I think happened. I think she was attracted to that other guy and because she knew he was all wrong for her, that made the attraction more intense. And thus led to her "confusion" about the relationship. Hopefully she has pulled away from that other guy so he wont have influence on her. You ABSOLUTLEY NEED to go NC. DO NOT be there for her, DO NOT be her friend, DO NOT be her buddy. She will never be able to miss how good you were for her if you are still in the shadows for her to fall back on. If you want her back, this is what you MUST do. Go NC for at least a month or as long as it takes her to come back around. Chances are it won't take her the full month. At the same time, you really need to think about if you are getting everything you need/want from this relationship because it's not fair for her to come and go as she pleases and you need to put your foot down.

[Rising]

Yeah. It sounds like she doesn't know what she has. A little distance might be what she needs to realize what you are to her... and if it's enough distance for her to realize that she's not that into it anymore then you guys can go your separate ways. It's better to end things that way then with someone cheating or waiting for the relationship to dissolve into messiness over time.

 

Best of luck

[xxmacbethxx]

Well I am trying no contact right now its been 5 hours i think, she txted me once and i didnt respond im proud but it hurt

 

wen i am going to her house 1st thing in the morning to cuddle her awake one of our fav things we will see what happens from there maybe this will happened again after i hope she realizes how much i love her and what ever she needs,

 

 

still looking for advice and tips

[cpujunkie]

Stay strong and stick with the NC.

[giggle3474]

Well I am trying no contact right now its been 5 hours i think, she txted me once and i didnt respond im proud but it hurt

 

wen i am going to her house 1st thing in the morning to cuddle her awake one of our fav things we will see what happens from there maybe this will happened again after i hope she realizes how much i love her and what ever she needs,

 

 

still looking for advice and tips

 

Um....no! You can't go over there on Wed and cuddle her awake. What the heck are you thinking. The point of NC is to not have contact! If you are using NC as a way to make her not take your presense for granted, going over there is not going to help that. You are only making yourself available for her needs and wants and you are making it so she doesn't have to give you anything in return. I see a lot of red flags here and I'm telling you now, if you keep this up - you are going to lose her for good. I don't mean to be harsh on you but 5 hours?? Come on man! That isnt proving anything!

 

Of course she will realize how much you love her and will always be there for her. My guess is you are reminding her of that one way or another every time she turns around. But that is not going to help her appreciate and cherish and respect you. You need to fully remove yourself from the situation (aka NC!) in order for her to see, want, and miss that. Think of going NC as doing what is best for your relationship. If you keep up the contact, if you keep persuing her, if you keep trying to prove to her - she is only going to be LESS certain whether she wants a relationship with you and probably waivering closer to NOT wanting a relationship.

 

I've heard a lot of men recommend the book I think its called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" You may want to read it. Also do a search on ENA for posts containing that phrase and read them so you can see how being "the nice guy" plays out in real life. I should know, I was always the "nice girl"

 

Good luck , let me know if I can help...

[yankeefan74]

Well I am trying no contact right now its been 5 hours i think, she txted me once and i didnt respond im proud but it hurt

 

wen i am going to her house 1st thing in the morning to cuddle her awake one of our fav things we will see what happens from there maybe this will happened again after i hope she realizes how much i love her and what ever she needs,

 

 

still looking for advice and tips

 

yeah, you need to not do any of this. She can't possibly miss what you bring to her life, if you are STILL in her life. You need to make her less of a priority...she has said she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship...wants space, etc...you need to give that to her.