break up and become friends on the same day?

[wjh]

My ex and I talked through the problems we have in the relationship (not being compatible and he's leaving the country for good.)this morning and decided to break up and become friends. We ended it in good terms.

However, it was very awkward that he and I all of sudden become "friends" from boyfriend/girlfriend. Its simply because I still have tons of feelings for him. And since he's actaully moving back to his home country for good end of this month, I want to spend time with him before he is gone. I know it sounds silly, but I'm afraid that I'd never be able to see him again.

 

 

Is it a bad idea to become friend with your ex immediately after the break up?

What would you do if you were me?

[star-shaped]

If you truly want to be friends IMO after a break-up you have to have a clean break for a while, otherwise it is likely that one of you will be harbouring feelings of wanting to get back together, and this is something that you have admitted.

 

Yes, you may want to spend time with him before he goes but he isn't your boyfriend anymore. Continuing to spend time with him will confuse things and prolong the time it takes for you to get over him.

 

It is easier said than done but in your situation I would want a clean break, whether he is moving away soon or not.

[littlestar]

I've never managed to have a friendship with any of my ex's and i dont think it'd possible to go from gf/bf to friend immediately,there has to be some time apart to allow feelings to settle or else it will feel in a way as if u have never broken up.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't think it is a good idea to immediately launch into friendship with him while you still harbour romantic feelings for him. That would not allow you to process your feelings, grieve the end of the relationship and move forward with your life...you will always be harbouring hope...and every little thing he says you might get hopeful that it means something more. Take some time to not interact with him. He is leaving anyway so you may as well cut the ties sooner rather than later. If he doesn't like it then touch crap for him...you didn't like being broken up with but you have to suck it up and deal with it...in much the same manner that he has to suck it up and deal with it if you decide you can't handle friendship at this point and need to go no contact. I would suggest you wish him well, good luck in his future and goodbye. It is a matter of do you want to rip that bandaid off in one motion and feel the pain right away so that it can start easing over time...or do you want to slowly rip that bandaid off prolonging the pain until he actually leaves the country.